The best morning of the year so far and a spell of good weather has brought the greenkeepers out of hibernation thus the greens have been dressed and hollow tined and there's even sign of progress on the 8th and 13th.

Like his favourite manager, Cutie-Cutie has a bad side so will be missing for a few weeks and is thus excused from Owls fines pro-tem. Fat-Boy is off skiing and there's no sign of DJ and Tate so Mr. Grumpy and Turbo take on the Bicker Twins - Nance and Brett. 

In the event it's no contest. Mr. Grumpy and Turbo take both nines by the convincing margin of just one point and with £4 quid in his sky rocket Turbo takes his Mom to Da Corrado's for a Mothering Sunday treat.

The shock news is that Mr. Grumpy finishes his round with as many clubs as he started (just 13 since you ask - Callaway still have the other one) and even leads the individual scores with a conservative 31 points. By co-incidence this is about the number of putts Nance has on the back 9. A visit to the putter shop is expected.

Finally, news of the chicken. Having moulted all its feathers in some sort of post-traumatic stress syndrome, the bird is now back in full plumage and with its arse still firmly in place, is strutting confidently around Brett's acres