Firstly, you will have noticed that the professional golfers on the European Tour managed to get round Killarney Golf and Fishing Club within the 4 days allotted. This is because, unlike the Muffins, the didn't have to play behind three Japs, none of whom were capable of hitting the ball consistently over 30 yards and who stopped to take photographs of themselves on every tee.

But that's another story.

This week Nance and Fat-Boy are taking on the Captain and Pro and have decided to mark the occasion by turning up in fancy dress as Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. 

Despite the bitter disappointment of the previous acquisition of a poofs electric trolley, Nance has decided to repeat the experiment. This time, however, he'll spend 4 hours in the company of the vendor so can complain personally when it all goes pear-shaped.

So, with Tate still hors de combat this results in the by now popular 5-ball in which Mr. Grumpy elects to play with Cutie-Cutie.

Big mistake.

Early doors Stan and Turbo maintain their form of the previous week and DJ is having a good one such that they knock up 51 points on the first nine alone, manage six 4-pointers overall and dovetail perfectly. Despite this they seem to be in bunkers all the time and coming to the 5th and last, there are 33 at stake including six collected at the 4th. Mr. Grumpy, who has only had two bunkers up to this point has given up 5 holes previously with an attack of the shanks, and thus it's to no-one's surprise that he collects them off the delighted DJ.

(Mr. Grumpy's attempt to escape by looking in the holly bush while his ball lies partially hidden under the bunker rake is to no avail).

Individually DJ spread-eagles the field with a fine 41 and, as ever, the computer corrects Mr. Grumpy's maths to Cutie-Cutie's disadvantage. Your correspondent has yet to look at the handicap adjustments but it will be to no-one's surprise that if, despite a crushing victory, Stan and Turbo stay at 29 and 30 respectively.

