Another 5-ball and Turbo takes on the tossing duties on the 6th tee. To no-one's surprise Mr. Grumpy is paired with Nance AGAIN and thus for your correspondent a long morning is in prospect. 

It's a bit snowy and frosty early doors, but Cutie-Cutie in particular is making light of the conditions and with occasional contributions from Stan and Turbo, the result seems to be a foregone conclusion from as early as a few holes in. It takes Nance a full 14 holes to join the party, but his much heralded "21 points from the last 7 holes" turns out to be as reliable as Darlington FC's finances.

With the team result a foregone conclusion we now come to the 5th and final hole. 

The camel score stands at 20, due mainly  to Turbo building the total in increments of at least two, but to this point Mr. Grumpy has contributed a fat zero. Therefore regular readers will know where this narrative is heading.

Unlike everyone else, Mr. Grumpy commits the schoolboy error of aiming for the green and unluckily finds the sand. Nance is big right, Cutie-Cutie is short left. Turbo is short right and Stan is just short when "short" would be considered a wild exaggeration. A few chips and a couple of ducks later everyone is on the green leaving the Grumpster to splash out and a couple of disconsolate putts later he is £5.25p the poorer.

To no-one's surprise, Cutie-Cutie runs away with the individual score, but at least he stumps up for the sandwiches. On top of the £5.25, Mr. Grumpy also loses £4 and then gets cut enough to lose him a full shot. It's a disgrace.

On another matter, the weather is improving and the soil is warming so inevitably your thoughts will be turning to the garden. Can I suggest you visit www.stubbingsnursery.co.uk and especially click on the "stubbings nursery" and then the "seasonal hints and tips" section at the foot of the menu. 

At the foot there's even an archive section where you can explore Turbo's past pearls of horticultural wisdom.
