It's a lovely sunny morning for the first week of the Muffins Summer season and with Tate seeking a prawn sandwich up at Old Trafford and Turbo up at Cruden Bay, it's just the six for 8:00am. For once Fat-Boy throws 'em up and doesn't resort to any sort of chicanery or prestidigitation, so Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy lead off followed by Cutie-Cutie, Brett and the Toss Meister.

It's straight into a low sun up the first and DJ richochets off a tree with his second shot resulting in a lost ball which he later discovers only as he potters down the second fairway. And as the teams pass on the 6th there's discouraging news of Brett who's already chalked up a "double-duck" and a "double-camel". Fat-Boy and Cutie-Cutie have resolved to stay away from his personal space.

Lawrence and Helen are involved in a minor domestic in the gazebo, but as the refreshments are dispensed it's Cutie-Cutie who's in the box seat with 22 points against which Mr. Grumpy's 19 looks distinctly average. In fact the Cute one is having a stormer and adds another 21 points coming home for a resounding victory and tops the table on Week 1. His contribution is also sufficient to earn his compadres the full £4 by 87 points to 81.

The new PAYE fines system is established and a pot of £11.50 (plus OOBs to come) is passed to Mr. Grumpy who somehow finds himself non-elected treasurer. Ex-hockey chums will realise the folly of this as in years past the "match fees" were always spent immediately on beer, resulting in a large claim equal to the GDP of a small country being made by the Hockey Treasurer at season end.

Mr. Grumpy also reflects on how he scored a useful 37 stableford points which translates to a mere 4 Muffins points, then loses £4 owing to the serial incompetence of his partners AND gets cut a shot.

"It's a funny old game Saint".
"It certainly is Greavsie".
