Q: A half-eaten pear lies directly in front of a ball in a bunker and there is no pear tree in the vicinity of the bunker. In the circumstances, is the pear an obstruction rather than a loose impediment, in which case could the player remove it without penalty?
A: No. A pear is a natural object. When detached from a tree it is a loose impediment. The fact that the pear has been half-eaten and there is no pear tree in the vicinity does not alter the status of the pear.

Although somewhat arcane, the above Decision on the Rules of Golf is decidedly more straightforward than the shenanigans engaged in by DJ in the bunker short of the 16th green - but, I am getting ahead of myself. 

The snow has thawed sufficiently for a resumption of the Winter Competition and 7 Muffins assemble sometime between 07:45 and 08:15am. Fat-Boy chucks 'em up and then kicks 'em around until they settle in a combination that suits him. He trots off with Tate and Turbo leaving Nance, DJ, and Mr. Grumpy to await the tardy Brett.

Conditions aren't too bad although Mr. Grumpy, Brett and DJ make early acquaintances with some aquatic fowl and at half-way, only Nance can claim a respectable total. The front 9 is halved but stellar performances on the back 9 by the three-ball lead to a clear 7 point victory. Nance leads the individual with 36 points shading Fat-Boy by a point. Mr. Grumpy and DJ are shite.

It's also lucrative on the fines front with an aggregate 27 camels, 6 ducks and a couple of OOB's to swell the curry fund.

But back to the 16th. DJ is in the bunker, but his ball lies in a river bed caused by draining water - which he doesn't fancy. Close by, but not the nearest point of relief and not marked as GUR (although it should be) is a drainage trench dug by the greenkeeper. If DJ drops his ball it will plug - which he also doesn't fancy. So, he drops it into the trench - twice - and the places it nowhere near the point of impact of the last drop. He then thins it out onto the 13th tee. 

Rule 20-2a/3 applies.
Q: A player obtaining relief from ground under repair dropped a ball in a manner not conforming with Rule 20-2a and in a wrong place. What is the ruling?
A: If the player corrected the errors before playing his next stoke, there was no penalty (Rule 20-6).
If the player failed to correct the errors before playing his next stroke:
a) In match play, he lost the hole for playing from a wrong place - Rule 20-7b.
b) In stroke play he incurred a penalty of three strokes - one stroke for dropping in an improper manner (Rule 20-2a) and two strokes for a breach of Rule 25-1b (see Rule 20-7c). (Revised).
c) He is a tosser.

See also Muffins vs Brett on the 17th.

It is a shame that the match reporter did not refer to rule 25 (abnormal ground conditions) that confirms that a player can drop the ball in a bunker within one club length of the nearest point of relief. At this point the drop into the newly created ditch in the bunker was within the rules. However it should also be noted that if a hole is created by the greenkeeper it is designated GUR whether marked or not.

It shows that the muffins knowledge of the rules of golf is somewhat limited and therefore it is fair to day that people is glass houses should avoid throwing stones!

Therein lies the case for the defence.