A glorious summer's morn, but with Turbo still in Spain Fat-Boy and Nance choose an unfortunate time to play their pesky Summer 4-Ball leaving the remainder to cope with an unpopular fivesome.

The 6th tee seems to be the best place to hide and DJ is paired with Mr. Grumpy although no-one can figure out what the scoring system should be for such a match. Tate volunteers to keep all 5 scores  - which is going to be a challenge.

Mr. Grumpy sets his stall out early by finding the bunker halfway up the left of the twelth fairway off the 7th tee - and it's plugged as well! In fact, after 4 holes the bunker count is well into double figures such that the famous five start debating how many they can now off-load onto the missing pair.

Off the 11th tee Cutie-Cutie also finds a bunker - the problem being this one is by the 8th green and it's plugged as well. He takes a drop and then bashes it into the woods out of bounds. Kerching! 

Earlier Tate has somehow contrived to hit a drive off the 7th tee left of the trees that separate it from the 6th fairway that bounces out into the middle of the 7th. On the 15th he repeats the feat but come the 16th tee his luck runs out and OOBs on 16 and 17 result. 

On 18 Cutie-Cutie lashes his ball due right onto the 1st fairway and shouts f**k off twice, loudly. This starts a dog in the Buryfield Road gardens barking wildly. It takes the owner several minutes of shouting "be quiet Henry" to calm it down, but just as he does so Tate comes up with a wild hook to start things all over again. Tate is now £3 down.

The only calming influence in a sea of bad-tempered mediocrity is Brett who quietly complies a winning 39 points with only one crowned hole to vent his spleen on. DJ trails in 2nd some way behind but contributes a load of bunkers for Tate to pick up. Meanwhile Mr. Grumpy hits only one fairway, no greens in regulation whatsoever and manages only one par for another miserable and career threatening week.

£8.25 is added to the fines fund.
