It's a truism that bears s**t in the woods.

But apparently there are certain higher primates who choose to do the same - of which more later.

So, where to start? Perhaps at the beginning. 

Mr. Grumpy meets Tate in the car park and enquires about the weather. "It's going to be fine" says Tate, so Mr. Grumpy removes his waterproofs and his umbrella from his bag. This turns out to be a bad decision.

This week there are 7 Muffins and Fat-Boy has pre-determined that his partners will be Nance and Tate and funnily enough, that's how the balls fall.

After last weeks stumble, Turbo quickly resumes normal service and starts with 3 consecutive 3-pointers and thus, reasonably well supported by Mr. Grumpy, Stan and DJ, things are set fair for a 4-ball victory.

Now, Stan is sporting some very dirty waterproof trousers and unusually elects to wash them in the stream on the 7th and even more unusually, to do so whilst still wearing them. Having retrieved his ball from the water, he somehow slips on the bridge parapet and swallow dives head first into the torrent and is all but submerged just holding his 8 iron as a periscope. As he emerges, it starts to rain. Unsurprisingly he blobs the hole.

So now that it's raining, Mr. Grumpy and Fat-Boy have to use the sandwich break to fetch their waterproofs from the car but in jogging to the car park, something stirs in Fat-Boy's back passage. He thinks, erroneously, that a trip to the halfway house facilities will settle the matter. However, on the corner of the 11th, he receives another urgent message and pausing only to beg some wet wipes from Nance, scurries into the woods.

Now at this point, DJ in the following group and ignorant of what's occuring, in front tonks his ball into the self-same woods.....but, to everyones regret, the scene whereby DJ rounds a bush to see Fat-Boy with waterproofs round his ankles hovering over a steaming pile never actually happens. 

After all this the result seems small beer. Suffice it to say that Turbo wins AGAIN, the 4-ball take the money and controversy dogs Tate to the bitter end where there's a camel-avoidance debate on the 18th.



