Never mind the River Thames. OGC has more than enough water to float a thousand boats as just the six intrepid Muffins defy common sense in order to paddle around 18 holes.

Nance has two attempts at a successful toss and selects Tate and David "no gloves" Harding as his partners. Turbo, Stan and Mr. Grumpy follow in their wake (literally) as the rain teems down. There's not even the comfort of a bacon sandwich as Trevor and Tracey can't be arsed to fire up the hotplate for so few customers. Fortunately Stan rummages deep in his golf bag on the 10th tee and unearths three antique Kit Kats that have a dramatic impact on Turbo's golf as he turns a dispiriting 11 points on the front into an exceptional 19 points coming home.

Stan's also having a good day even, without resorting to the "marigold" washing up gloves for extra grip and with some bits and pieces from Mr. Grumpy it's enough for a team win with the two nines halved. Mind you, for those playing in glasses such as the Grumpster the whole experience was like playing with cataracts and thus useful practice for the inevitable.

Individually DJ is at the head of affairs while Nance's quest for some semblance of his former glories goes on. However, the real winners must be Fat-Boy who enjoyed some much better weather north of the border and Cutie-Cutie who presumably just stayed in bed.