No Cutie-Cutie whilst the back problem clears up (and yes, we do need the photo of those stockings) so it's a 7-Up for week two. Suspiciously Fat-Boy asks each player to identify their ball before the toss, there being 8 in his hands, but ultimately chooses the wrong compadres and is on the end of a Tatering (geddit??).

Tate spreadeagles the field with 43 points and a handy gross 92 in his quest for handicap respectability. Only Mr. Grumpy picks up any Muffin points and, had his 4 footer for a point not found the cup on the 12th, the likelihood is that he would have headed straight for the clubhouse with his putter in pieces.

It's a useful day on the fines front with camels, ducks and OOB's galore.

Other news includes a progress report on Turbo's faulty trousers which, you'll recall, split right across the a**e on just the third outing. On returning them to the dodgy golf shop he's been told "I'll show them to the rep".

Whether the warehouse from which the said trousers were probably liberated does refunds remains to be seen.