How are the mighty fallen........once upon a time Brett's word was law. 'Twas he alone who notified the Muffins who played and when. But nowadays he's relegated to being Fat-Boy's texting bitch. It's the Fat-Boy who is the self-appointed sole arbiter of who can play and when. 

DJ has a Sky Box crisis requiring an early finish so on Saturday Fat-Boy details Tate and a reluctant Turbo to be his partners for an 8am start - regardless of the clocks going forward and a plethora of 5-balls out on the course. (And without consulting Fat-Boy, they also pick up some waif and stray a few holes in).

This allows Fat-Boy himself, Mr. Grumpy, Brett and Nance to enjoy a relatively relaxed tee off at 9am, although popular opinion has it that the latter two never actually start at all.

With several holes and an hour between the teams scoring comparisons are difficult. But the bush telegraph suggests that despite Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy bagging a 21 and a 20 at the sarnies, a less than competent display by the other two leaves the 4-ball somewhat in arrears. An egg crisis in the kitchen does little to raise Brett's spirits and as Mr. Grumpy's game deteriorates, Fat-Boy is left to do all the scoring.

However, it's a game of two halves as the 3-ball falter on the back (the pre-dawn start taking it's toll) leaving the match tied 85-85 with the 9's shared. Not even several decimal places can sort out a winner.

Fat-Boy's 42 points, which strangely includes not a single memorable shot, is more than enough for 10 points and a slashed handicap. Tate and DJ tie second with 38, the rest nowhere. (In the main match Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy give Brett and Nance a good dicking, 5 and 4).

Nance is becoming a bit of a camel connoisseur and bags 8 whilst you-know-who collects 11. Mr. Grumpy contrives a double-OOB on the 18th whilst Brett's duck on the 5th is not a thing of beauty.