Tate's still fighting the Battle of Wounded Knee and Fat-Boy is God knows where, so it's a 6-Ball on a warm sunny morning. Nance has brought Ryan along to caddie and therfore he's instantly promoted to Deputy Tosser. He achieves an even 6-way split and then selects the least likely combination of balls to pair Mr. Grumpy with Turbo and Stan. It's a performance so reminiscent of the Fat-Boy that suspicions as to his parentage are only strengthened. 

Words such as "chip" and "old block are being muttered.

The trio with a handicap total of nearly three figures head off and by half-way it's all over as a contest. Stan hits a purple patch to turn with 21 points ably supported by his compadres and although progress on the back nine falters occasionally, the £4 is never in doubt.

As a player-caddy partnership it's remarkable how far apart Nance and Ryan are all morning. This is because Nance consistently refuses to take Ryan's advice on club selection: advice which on every occasion turns out to be perfectly correct. Ryan is on 10% of Nance's winnings, it's thus unfortunate that 10% of f*** all is exactly f*** all.

Individually the computer decides that Stan and Mr. Grumpy share top spot with 36 points each. 