Week Four of the aptly named Winter Season and the previous weeks have been a mere bagatelle compared to what awaits the 7 Muffins on the 328th day of the year. Very cold, punctuated by lashing sleet and rain provide testing conditions that Cutie-Cutie wisely chooses to avoid. Fat-Boy has no waterproof trousers, which means that several of his private bits are going to get even moister than usual, but he arranges that he, DJ and Tate will lead off, followed by Brett, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy.

Mr. Grumpy elects to score for the 4-ball but has no pencil. Fat-Boy lends him one that he's stolen from IKEA but it's a 4H which, in combination with a soggy scorecard and the distance glasses pebble-dashed with rain is not a happy combination.

At half way it's suspected that the 4-ball have a useful lead - but by how many is a moot point. Tate begins the back nine in encouraging fashion by lashing a drive up the middle. However, his nobbled second shot defies all the known laws of physics to finish behind him and further from the hole from where he started.

Re-freshed by Lawrence and Helen's welcome return to sandwich duties, the responsibility of 4-ball scoring is handed to Brett, but without any marked improvement in accuracy. Fortunately by the 11th hole, the clouds blow away and the sun comes out, but in a strange paradox, as Mr. Grumpy frees himself from several layers and the unattractive baseball hat/bobble hat combination, his game falls apart.

The warmth of the clubhouse is reached eventually where Brett spends about 30 minutes trying to record an accurate version of events. It's determined that the 9's have been halved but the 4 ball have sneaked the match 77 points to 75, possibly, approximately, definitely maybe.

On the way home Mr. Grumpy replays his round in his mind and realises that a 5 on the 9th was actually a 6 and adjusts the web scores accordingly. But it doesn't seem to matter.

For the 4th week in a row the X Factor goes to Brett with 36 points but the men with a Y Chromosome too many are Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo with 28. Nance also collects 10 camels and there's absolutely no need to ask who else collected 7.

Muffins are reminded to assemble at Mr. Grumpy's 6 pm onwards next Friday for G&T's prior to the Annual Dinner. They are also advised that Monday 24th Nov is a public holiday in Japan - if you can get there in time.
