Camel Fest and Sandwich Crisis Enlivens last Match of Winter!!

Turbo is 'overnighting' in the Cotswolds and DJ and Tate are off in the USA, so it's a dodgy 5-Ball in prospect until Fat-Boy phones Cutie-Cutie on Saturday lunchtime and tells him he can't play. Accordingly just 4 tip up for an 08:15 start on a spring-like morning. 

The tosser decides it's Nance and Mr. Grumpy versus Brett and himself and they tee off on the 6th. The first drama comes as early as the 7th hole where 6 camels are racked up. By the end of the 8th the total has climbed to 10, aided and abetted by Fat-Boy who contrives to be in a bunker with both his first and his third shots.

The second drama plays out in the half-way hut where the ladies, (resembling Ena Sharples, Minnie Cauldwell and Martha Longhurst in early episodes of 'Corrie')are complaining they've been sacked from sandwich duties 'cos the steward wants to take over'. The fact that Lawrence is actually too tall to fit in the hut has, apparently, been overlooked.

Match-wise it's not too much of a contest. While Mr. Grumpy takes a few holes to find his touch, Nance keeps the score rolling and when Mr. G finally does shapes up, it's all one-way traffic. Sharing top honours with 36 points and a team total of 46, Nance and Mr. Grumpy emerge winners by 10 points and £4 the richer.

Whilst not progressing at quite the rate of the early holes, there's still 20 camels at stake on the 5th and final tee. Nance is first on the oche and stakes his claim by knocking it into the second right trap. Mr. Grumpy and Fat-Boy are wide right. This leaves Brett - who's only contributed one of the total - and now predicts that the golfing gods will be against him. Sure enough he slaps it into the bunker front left to collect, in bingo parlance, 'two little ducks -twenty two'.

Then, to avoid any disaster, Fat-Boy contrives to hit a chip so far right of the bunker, it rolls up the path to the 6th tee.

Other sundries include 2 OOB's to Mr. Grumpy and 1 to Fat-Boy and if there were fines for hitting trees, Brett would have collected 5 in just 3 holes.