Only 6 Muffins today as the bulletin on the palace gates suggests that Cutie-Cutie's operation has gone fine, but he'll be out for a number of weeks and DJ ("just call me Cyclops") Harding has only one eye.

Brett, Fat-Boy and Nance set off confident of a victory but Tate, Mr. Grumpy and Turbo have all the handicap allowances. Unfortunately only Turbo has a golf game to go with them. The back 9 is halved but the low men shave the front nine and take £3 as a consequence. Turbo's excellent winning 37 points is all the more commendable having partned two such volcanic personalities as Tate and Mr. Grumpy - an experience Turbo describes as playing in the eye of a nuclear holocaust.

All is now set for the "Away Day" at Coxmoor on Friday but there is hot news on the Tour front as Cutie-Cutie's injury and Mr. Grumpy's failure to find another Government quango to milk reduces the numbers to an awkward 5-ball. A truncated 3-day Tour to only Burnham, Saunton and Westwood Ho! is now likely. Mr. Grumpy is to negotiate the return of deposits from St Enodoc and Trevose and will also contact "Costcutter" for potential sponsorship.