This web site is so bloody slow it would probably be quicker if I visited all the Muffins personally to impart the match details. However......

There's a Mixed Open starting at 09:40 hours so the Match Secretary decrees a 07:45am tee time, but only DJ, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy are ready at the appointed hour so they depart. Cutie-Cutie has been up since 05:00am in order to overcome the rigor mortice in his back and joins Nance and Stan at about 08:00am.

Apart from the irritation of the Mixed Nonsense there's no sandwiches only free coffee, biscuits and bananas. This news is poorly received and members right across the course are heard to be grumbling. The "Equality" Discussion evening on Monday promises to be a lively affair.

In short, Turbo plays very well but Cutie-Cutie plays even better to help himself to the individual title and his team to £2. It's a good day on the fines front with a liberal sprinkling of camels, OOBs and ducks to swell the Annual Dinner funds.