The last Sunday before Tour sees only 6 Muffins present. Cutie-Cutie's with the kids and Fat-Boy's found some new friends, so DJ shows how straightforward the team selection can be and sends Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Brett off the 3rd to be followed by Turbo, Nance and himself.

Tate hits an impressive birdie down his first hole, but it's a false dawn and a lost ball down the 4th, a hook into the jungle on the 5th and a visit to the self-same jungle off the 6th tee shakes his confidence. Actually the tee shot on the 6th cannons into the spinney on the left hand side of the tee only to plop out onto the Ladies's tee several moments later.

However, at the early sandwiches it's a clear lead for Tate's team, but the really hot news is that Nance has pulled a fetlock in the mere act of marking his ball and may have to be put down before the tour. The screens are called for.

On the back nine Mr. Grumpy holes a bunker shot for the first time in his life and Tate, having shanked his tee shot on the 15th and dobbed the recovery into Dingly Dell, then duffs his third. He addresses himself as a "decelerating f**king nancy-boy" to general amusement all-round.

The back nine is much as the front and Tate, Mr. Grumpy and an unusually sanguine and contented Brett collect the £4 by a decent margin. 'Twas also notable that at one point Brett was down to a single layer of clothing. Who says that climate change is a myth.

DJ with an outstanding 42 points collects the individual honours, but being in a crap team loses £4 as well as a handful of shots for the Tour. Mr. Grumpy is also docked shots- a schoolboy error. Turbo and Mr. Grumpy are the camel kings and a modest £8 is added to the fines kitty.

