How long does it take to lay a few slabs? 'Til hell freezes over apparently.

Anyway, there's 8 Muffins which Fat-Boy splits up to his personal satisfaction and owing to conjestion on the 1st, it's a two-tee start from the 3rd and the 6th. Mr. Grumpy, Cutie-Cutie, Stan and Turbo will be getting the early sandwiches.

It's very soggy underfoot with no run on the ball which Mr.Grumpy will only understand if ever he finds another fairway. Turbo is not quite so hot as previous weeks, Stan is getting steadier - but the lightly raced Cutie-Cutie is finding a bit of form such that with the front nines halved, the higher handicap team pull off a win by a three point margin.

There are rules issues in the other group with Fat-Boy apparently pre-tesing the consistency of the sand in a bunker and Nance taking liberties with the yellow line defining the water hazard.

Cutie-Cutie takes home 10 Muffin points, a handicap adjustment and by virtue of sundry unpaid Owls and 12 camels, finishes about £5 down.

Mr. Grumpy would have found 4 hours in the company of Ruby the Heart Stealer much more enjoyable.