There are various weak excuses for what is likely to be the last game of the Summer 2010 season, so it's only 4 Muffins on parade. It take Mr. Grumpy at least 4 tosses to achieve a satisfactory split of the balls that pairs him with Brett and Turbo with Nance.

Now it's not everyday that Nance shoots a gross 72 and still gets his arse spanked, but Mr. Grumpy has one of those all-too-rare "looking at the ball" days and armed with a £15 chipping club much favoured by old farts normally wearing plus-fours, tots up 40 stableford points with no passes.

In a very competitive encounter, the front 9 is halved in 23 and Mr. Grumpy and Brett score another 23 on the back to shade the match by two.

Having scored an excellent 38 points in his quest to catch Cutie-Cutie, Nance is not amused to a) fail by 0.09 and b) to lose £3.

Apparently, life's a bitch and then you die.

Next week, the Villa vs Bluenose encounter, Mr. Grumpy's holiday and the Summer 4 Ball Final 36 hole Final featuring Nance and Fat-Boy will decimate the field. So unless Brett and Cutie-Cutie decide to have a 2-ball in which the latter player fails spectacularly, your correspondent thinks it's safe to declare the said Cutie-Cutie the Summer 2010 Champion. Congratulations and we look forward to sharing a bottle of champagne on the 26th November.