(479,'2008-11-16','2008-11-16 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-16 20:03:10',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,25,147,5,8,'It\'s the second week of the winter Strictly Come Golfing Competition, but as the Villa Three have strangely prioritised watching losing at home to Middlesborough, and it\'s a non-Cutie-Cutie week, there\'s only 4 on the tee.\r\n\r\nIt\'s been wazzing down overnight and there\'s more leaves on the course than you could shake a stick at, which obscures any balls not finding the middle of the fairway (also more than you could shake a stick at).\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is on the \"Slimmers World\" diet and has lost 7 pounds (allegedly) but still summons up the strength to throw up the balls and pairs himself with Mr. Grumpy. It\'s a third tee start and by the sixth hole Brett\'s game is reminiscent of the tale of the Three Little Pigs - lot\'s of huffing and puffing, but nothing that\'s going to blow the house down. His putter is stone cold but as he warms it up, the malaise spreads to Nance who leads \"greens in regulation\" but manages to leave 8 out of his ten birdie putts short.\r\n\r\nWith Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy kntting together well, they take the front nine 22 points to 20 and with the back nine halved in 20, it\'s a popular victory for Fat-Boy Slim and The Grumpster.\r\n\r\nIndividually this week\'s Austin Healey is Brett with 36 points whilst this week\'s John Sargeant is Fat-Boy with 29. Brett collects 9 camels - a total restricted due to the increasingly popular \"de-cameling\".\r\n\r\nAs Tate and DJ now head for warmer climes, a six-ball is predicted for Week Three, but if the Slimmer\'s World diet is as good Fat-Boy says it is, and he turns sideways, we may yet think he\'s gone home.',1,'','',200,470,1,1),
(480,'2008-11-16','2008-11-16 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-16 20:39:50',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,25,147,5,8,'Sunday 16th November dawns, warm, sunny and bright with not a cloud in the sky, in short, perfect golfing weather - but enough about Portugal - let\'s concentrate on OGC where the real men play. It\'s persisted down overnight again and the course is as slippery as Peter Mandelson on an oligarch\'s yacht. The assembled heroes constitute an unpopular 5-ball and the Head Tosser decides that Brett and Mr. Grumpy will take on Nance, Turbo and himself, commencing on the 6th tee.\r\n\r\nMore wet leaves in the rough than ever mean that finding the fairway is the key to good scores. Pity. The early sandwiches are welcome - if not the outrageous price inflation - and by the 13th It\'s become a closely fought affair. So close in fact that the generally accepted codes of etiquette and common courtesy are abandoned when Mr. Grumpy, on being asked to putt a \"gimme\" then has his downswing disturbed by a loud belch from the Fat-Boy causing a miss.\r\n\r\nThe gloves are clearly off but with Brett playing steadily, augmented by the occasional par from Mr. Grumpy, a lead slowly establishes itself. However Brett, having played 15 holes like Payne Stewart, chooses to play the last 3 like Moira Stewart making the whole affair a little closer than it might have been. However he hangs on to take the individual 10 points for the third week running with Fat-Boy as 1st loser.\r\n\r\nDrama on the camel front as Nance notches 4 on a single hole - the 18th - but with the 5th as a finishing hole, there\'s everything to play for. Mr. Grumpy pops his tee shot in the back right trap for 15. Brett hits the back left trap for 16 but Turbo is short of the brook. Regrettably he then also finds the back left trap for 17, leaves it in for 18 and then thins it across the green for 19 It\'s a sad and unjust conclusion for a chap who, until then, hadn\'t been near a camel all day.',1,'','',200,470,1,1),
(481,'2008-11-09','2008-11-09 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-16 20:42:48',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,25,147,5,8,'Sunday 16th November dawns, warm, sunny and bright with not a cloud in the sky, in short, perfect golfing weather - but enough about Portugal - let\'s concentrate on OGC where the real men play. It\'s persisted down overnight again and the course is as slippery as Peter Mandelson on an oligarch\'s yacht. The assembled heroes constitute an unpopular 5-ball and the Head Tosser decides that Brett and Mr. Grumpy will take on Nance, Turbo and himself, commencing on the 6th tee.\r\n\r\nMore wet leaves in the rough than ever mean that finding the fairway is the key to good scores. Pity. The early sandwiches are welcome - if not the outrageous price inflation - and by the 13th It\'s become a closely fought affair. So close in fact that the generally accepted codes of etiquette and common courtesy are abandoned when Mr. Grumpy, on being asked to putt a \"gimme\" then has his downswing disturbed by a loud belch from the Fat-Boy causing a miss.\r\n\r\nThe gloves are clearly off but with Brett playing steadily, augmented by the occasional par from Mr. Grumpy, a lead slowly establishes itself. However Brett, having played 15 holes like Payne Stewart, chooses to play the last 3 like Moira Stewart making the whole affair a little closer than it might have been. However he hangs on to take the individual 10 points for the third week running with Fat-Boy as 1st loser.\r\n\r\nDrama on the camel front as Nance notches 4 on a single hole - the 18th - but with the 5th as a finishing hole, there\'s everything to play for. Mr. Grumpy pops his tee shot in the back right trap for 15. Brett hits the back left trap for 16 but Turbo is short of the brook. Regrettably he then also finds the back left trap for 17, leaves it in for 18 and then thins it across the green for 19 It\'s a sad and unjust conclusion for a chap who, until then, hadn\'t been near a camel all day.',1,'','',200,470,1,1),
(482,'2008-11-16','2008-11-16 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-11 23:38:53',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,25,147,5,8,'Sunday 16th November dawns, warm, sunny and bright with not a cloud in the sky, in short, perfect golfing weather - but enough about Portugal - let\'s concentrate on OGC where the real men play. It\'s persisted down overnight again and the course is as slippery as Peter Mandelson on an oligarch\'s yacht. The assembled heroes constitute an unpopular 5-ball and the Head Tosser decides that Brett and Mr. Grumpy will take on Nance, Turbo and himself, commencing on the 6th tee. \r\n\r\nMore wet leaves in the rough than ever mean that finding the fairway is the key to good scores. Pity. The early sandwiches are welcome - if not the outrageous price inflation - and by the 13th It\'s become a closely fought affair. So close in fact that the generally accepted codes of etiquette and common courtesy are abandoned when Mr. Grumpy, on being asked to putt a \"gimme\" then has his downswing disturbed by a loud belch from the Fat-Boy causing a miss. \r\n\r\nThe gloves are clearly off but with Brett playing steadily, augmented by the occasional par from Mr. Grumpy, a lead slowly establishes itself. However Brett, having played 15 holes like Payne Stewart, chooses to play the last 3 like Moira Stewart making the whole affair a little closer than it might have been. However he hangs on to take the individual 10 points for the third week running with Fat-Boy as 1st loser. \r\n\r\nDrama on the camel front as Nance notches 4 on a single hole - the 18th - but with the 5th as a finishing hole, there\'s everything to play for. Mr. Grumpy pops his tee shot in the back right trap for 15. Brett hits the back left trap for 16 but Turbo is short of the brook. Regrettably he then also finds the back left trap for 17, leaves it in for 18 and then thins it across the green for 19 It\'s a sad and unjust conclusion for a chap who, until then, hadn\'t been near a camel all day.',1,'sn850059.jpg','Golf Portugese style',200,0,0,1),
(483,'2008-11-16','2008-11-16 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-18 20:47:18',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,482,1,1),
(484,'2008-11-09','2008-11-09 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-16 20:42:58',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,25,147,5,8,'Sunday 16th November dawns, warm, sunny and bright with not a cloud in the sky, in short, perfect golfing weather - but enough about Portugal - let\'s concentrate on OGC where the real men play. It\'s persisted down overnight again and the course is as slippery as Peter Mandelson on an oligarch\'s yacht. The assembled heroes constitute an unpopular 5-ball and the Head Tosser decides that Brett and Mr. Grumpy will take on Nance, Turbo and himself, commencing on the 6th tee.\r\n\r\nMore wet leaves in the rough than ever mean that finding the fairway is the key to good scores. Pity. The early sandwiches are welcome - if not the outrageous price inflation - and by the 13th It\'s become a closely fought affair. So close in fact that the generally accepted codes of etiquette and common courtesy are abandoned when Mr. Grumpy, on being asked to putt a \"gimme\" then has his downswing disturbed by a loud belch from the Fat-Boy causing a miss.\r\n\r\nThe gloves are clearly off but with Brett playing steadily, augmented by the occasional par from Mr. Grumpy, a lead slowly establishes itself. However Brett, having played 15 holes like Payne Stewart, chooses to play the last 3 like Moira Stewart making the whole affair a little closer than it might have been. However he hangs on to take the individual 10 points for the third week running with Fat-Boy as 1st loser.\r\n\r\nDrama on the camel front as Nance notches 4 on a single hole - the 18th - but with the 5th as a finishing hole, there\'s everything to play for. Mr. Grumpy pops his tee shot in the back right trap for 15. Brett hits the back left trap for 16 but Turbo is short of the brook. Regrettably he then also finds the back left trap for 17, leaves it in for 18 and then thins it across the green for 19 It\'s a sad and unjust conclusion for a chap who, until then, hadn\'t been near a camel all day.',1,'','',200,470,1,1),
(485,'2008-11-16','2008-11-16 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-18 20:49:15',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,25,147,5,8,'Sunday 16th November dawns, warm, sunny and bright with not a cloud in the sky, in short, perfect golfing weather - but enough about Portugal - let\'s concentrate on OGC where the real men play. It\'s persisted down overnight again and the course is as slippery as Peter Mandelson on an oligarch\'s yacht. The assembled heroes constitute an unpopular 5-ball and the Head Tosser decides that Brett and Mr. Grumpy will take on Nance, Turbo and himself, commencing on the 6th tee. \r\n\r\nMore wet leaves in the rough than ever mean that finding the fairway is the key to good scores. Pity. The early sandwiches are welcome - if not the outrageous price inflation - and by the 13th It\'s become a closely fought affair. So close in fact that the generally accepted codes of etiquette and common courtesy are abandoned when Mr. Grumpy, on being asked to putt a \"gimme\" then has his downswing disturbed by a loud belch from the Fat-Boy causing a miss. \r\n\r\nThe gloves are clearly off but with Brett playing steadily, augmented by the occasional par from Mr. Grumpy, a lead slowly establishes itself. However Brett, having played 15 holes like Payne Stewart, chooses to play the last 3 like Moira Stewart making the whole affair a little closer than it might have been. However he hangs on to take the individual 10 points for the third week running with Fat-Boy as 1st loser. \r\n\r\nDrama on the camel front as Nance notches 4 on a single hole - the 18th - but with the 5th as a finishing hole, there\'s everything to play for. Mr. Grumpy pops his tee shot in the back right trap for 15. Brett hits the back left trap for 16 but Turbo is short of the brook. Regrettably he then also finds the back left trap for 17, leaves it in for 18 and then thins it across the green for 19 It\'s a sad and unjust conclusion for a chap who, until then, hadn\'t been near a camel all day.',1,'','',200,482,1,1),
(486,'2008-11-09','2008-11-09 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-18 20:50:34',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,36,29,132,4,8,'It\'s the second week of the winter Strictly Come Golfing Competition, but as the Villa Three have strangely prioritised watching losing at home to Middlesborough, and it\'s a non-Cutie-Cutie week, there\'s only 4 on the tee.\r\n\r\nIt\'s been wazzing down overnight and there\'s more leaves on the course than you could shake a stick at, which obscures any balls not finding the middle of the fairway (also more than you could shake a stick at).\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is on the \"Slimmers World\" diet and has lost 7 pounds (allegedly) but still summons up the strength to throw up the balls and pairs himself with Mr. Grumpy. It\'s a third tee start and by the sixth hole Brett\'s game is reminiscent of the tale of the Three Little Pigs - lot\'s of huffing and puffing, but nothing that\'s going to blow the house down. His putter is stone cold but as he warms it up, the malaise spreads to Nance who leads \"greens in regulation\" but manages to leave 8 out of his ten birdie putts short.\r\n\r\nWith Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy kntting together well, they take the front nine 22 points to 20 and with the back nine halved in 20, it\'s a popular victory for Fat-Boy Slim and The Grumpster.\r\n\r\nIndividually this week\'s Austin Healey is Brett with 36 points whilst this week\'s John Sargeant is Fat-Boy with 29. Brett collects 9 camels - a total restricted due to the increasingly popular \"de-cameling\".\r\n\r\nAs Tate and DJ now head for warmer climes, a six-ball is predicted for Week Three, but if the Slimmer\'s World diet is as good Fat-Boy says it is, and he turns sideways, we may yet think he\'s gone home.',1,'','',200,470,1,1),
(487,'2008-11-09','2008-11-09 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-18 20:50:34',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,36,29,132,4,8,'It\'s the second week of the winter Strictly Come Golfing Competition, but as the Villa Three have strangely prioritised watching losing at home to Middlesborough, and it\'s a non-Cutie-Cutie week, there\'s only 4 on the tee.\r\n\r\nIt\'s been wazzing down overnight and there\'s more leaves on the course than you could shake a stick at, which obscures any balls not finding the middle of the fairway (also more than you could shake a stick at).\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is on the \"Slimmers World\" diet and has lost 7 pounds (allegedly) but still summons up the strength to throw up the balls and pairs himself with Mr. Grumpy. It\'s a third tee start and by the sixth hole Brett\'s game is reminiscent of the tale of the Three Little Pigs - lot\'s of huffing and puffing, but nothing that\'s going to blow the house down. His putter is stone cold but as he warms it up, the malaise spreads to Nance who leads \"greens in regulation\" but manages to leave 8 out of his ten birdie putts short.\r\n\r\nWith Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy kntting together well, they take the front nine 22 points to 20 and with the back nine halved in 20, it\'s a popular victory for Fat-Boy Slim and The Grumpster.\r\n\r\nIndividually this week\'s Austin Healey is Brett with 36 points whilst this week\'s John Sargeant is Fat-Boy with 29. Brett collects 9 camels - a total restricted due to the increasingly popular \"de-cameling\".\r\n\r\nAs Tate and DJ now head for warmer climes, a six-ball is predicted for Week Three, but if the Slimmer\'s World diet is as good Fat-Boy says it is, and he turns sideways, we may yet think he\'s gone home.',1,'','',200,470,1,1),
(488,'2008-11-09','2008-11-09 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-18 20:50:34',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,36,29,132,4,8,'It\'s the second week of the winter Strictly Come Golfing Competition, but as the Villa Three have strangely prioritised watching losing at home to Middlesborough, and it\'s a non-Cutie-Cutie week, there\'s only 4 on the tee.\r\n\r\nIt\'s been wazzing down overnight and there\'s more leaves on the course than you could shake a stick at, which obscures any balls not finding the middle of the fairway (also more than you could shake a stick at).\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is on the \"Slimmers World\" diet and has lost 7 pounds (allegedly) but still summons up the strength to throw up the balls and pairs himself with Mr. Grumpy. It\'s a third tee start and by the sixth hole Brett\'s game is reminiscent of the tale of the Three Little Pigs - lot\'s of huffing and puffing, but nothing that\'s going to blow the house down. His putter is stone cold but as he warms it up, the malaise spreads to Nance who leads \"greens in regulation\" but manages to leave 8 out of his ten birdie putts short.\r\n\r\nWith Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy kntting together well, they take the front nine 22 points to 20 and with the back nine halved in 20, it\'s a popular victory for Fat-Boy Slim and The Grumpster.\r\n\r\nIndividually this week\'s Austin Healey is Brett with 36 points whilst this week\'s John Sargeant is Fat-Boy with 29. Brett collects 9 camels - a total restricted due to the increasingly popular \"de-cameling\".\r\n\r\nAs Tate and DJ now head for warmer climes, a six-ball is predicted for Week Three, but if the Slimmer\'s World diet is as good Fat-Boy says it is, and he turns sideways, we may yet think he\'s gone home.',1,'','',200,470,1,1),
(489,'2008-11-23','2008-11-23 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-11 23:33:41',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,28,214,7,8,'Week Four of the aptly named Winter Season and the previous weeks have been a mere bagatelle compared to what awaits the 7 Muffins on the 328th day of the year. Very cold, punctuated by lashing sleet and rain provide testing conditions that Cutie-Cutie wisely chooses to avoid. Fat-Boy has no waterproof trousers, which means that several of his private bits are going to get even moister than usual, but he arranges that he, DJ and Tate will lead off, followed by Brett, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy elects to score for the 4-ball but has no pencil. Fat-Boy lends him one that he\'s stolen from IKEA but it\'s a 4H which, in combination with a soggy scorecard and the distance glasses pebble-dashed with rain is not a happy combination.\r\n\r\nAt half way it\'s suspected that the 4-ball have a useful lead - but by how many is a moot point. Tate begins the back nine in encouraging fashion by lashing a drive up the middle. However, his nobbled second shot defies all the known laws of physics to finish behind him and further from the hole from where he started.\r\n\r\nRe-freshed by Lawrence and Helen\'s welcome return to sandwich duties, the responsibility of 4-ball scoring is handed to Brett, but without any marked improvement in accuracy. Fortunately by the 11th hole, the clouds blow away and the sun comes out, but in a strange paradox, as Mr. Grumpy frees himself from several layers and the unattractive baseball hat/bobble hat combination, his game falls apart.\r\n\r\nThe warmth of the clubhouse is reached eventually where Brett spends about 30 minutes trying to record an accurate version of events. It\'s determined that the 9\'s have been halved but the 4 ball have sneaked the match 77 points to 75, possibly, approximately, definitely maybe.\r\n\r\nOn the way home Mr. Grumpy replays his round in his mind and realises that a 5 on the 9th was actually a 6 and adjusts the web scores accordingly. But it doesn\'t seem to matter.\r\n\r\nFor the 4th week in a row the X Factor goes to Brett with 36 points but the men with a Y Chromosome too many are Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo with 28. Nance also collects 10 camels and there\'s absolutely no need to ask who else collected 7.\r\n\r\nMuffins are reminded to assemble at Mr. Grumpy\'s 6 pm onwards next Friday for G&T\'s prior to the Annual Dinner. They are also advised that Monday 24th Nov is a public holiday in Japan - if you can get there in time.\r\n',1,'turbo in trouble on the 4th.jpg','Turbo fails to de-duck!',200,0,0,1),
(490,'2008-11-23','2008-11-23 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-23 13:38:18',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,28,215,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,489,1,1),
(491,'2008-11-23','2008-11-23 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-23 13:38:18',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,28,214,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,489,1,1),
(492,'2008-11-23','2008-11-23 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-23 13:38:18',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,28,214,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,489,1,1),
(493,'2008-11-23','2008-11-23 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-23 20:16:28',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,28,214,7,8,'Week Four of the aptly named Winter Season and the previous weeks have been a mere bagatelle compared to what awaits the 7 Muffins on the 328th day of the year. Very cold, punctuated by lashing sleet and rain provide testing conditions that Cutie-Cutie wisely chooses to avoid. Fat-Boy has no waterproof trousers, which means that several of his private bits are going to get even moister than usual, but he arranges that he, DJ and Tate will lead off, followed by Brett, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy elects to score for the 4-ball but has no pencil. Fat-Boy lends him one that he\'s stolen from IKEA but it\'s a 4H which, in combination with a soggy scorecard and the distance glasses pebble-dashed with rain is not a happy combination.\r\n\r\nAt half way it\'s suspected that the 4-ball have a useful lead - but by how many is a moot point. Tate begins the back nine in encouraging fashion by lashing a drive up the middle. However, his nobbled second shot defies all the known laws of physics to finish behind him and further from the hole from where he started.\r\n\r\nRe-freshed by Lawrence and Helen\'s welcome return to sandwich duties, the responsibility of 4-ball scoring is handed to Brett, but without any marked improvement in accuracy. Fortunately by the 11th hole, the clouds blow away and the sun comes out, but in a strange paradox, as Mr. Grumpy frees himself from several layers and the unattractive baseball hat/bobble hat combination, his game falls apart.\r\n\r\nThe warmth of the clubhouse is reached eventually where Brett spends about 30 minutes trying to record an accurate version of events. It\'s determined that the 9\'s have been halved but the 4 ball have sneaked the match 76 points to 75, possibly, approximately, definitely maybe.\r\n\r\nOn the way Mr. Grumpy replays his play in his mind a realises that the 5 on the 9th was actually a 6 and adjusts the web scores accordingly. But it doesn\'t seem to matter.\r\n\r\nFor the 4th week in a row the X Factor is Brett with 36 points but the man with a Y Chromosome too many is DJ with\r\n',1,'','',200,489,1,1),
(494,'2008-11-23','2008-11-23 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-23 20:21:36',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,28,214,7,8,'Week Four of the aptly named Winter Season and the previous weeks have been a mere bagatelle compared to what awaits the 7 Muffins on the 328th day of the year. Very cold, punctuated by lashing sleet and rain provide testing conditions that Cutie-Cutie wisely chooses to avoid. Fat-Boy has no waterproof trousers, which means that several of his private bits are going to get even moister than usual, but he arranges that he, DJ and Tate will lead off, followed by Brett, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy elects to score for the 4-ball but has no pencil. Fat-Boy lends him one that he\'s stolen from IKEA but it\'s a 4H which, in combination with a soggy scorecard and the distance glasses pebble-dashed with rain is not a happy combination.\r\n\r\nAt half way it\'s suspected that the 4-ball have a useful lead - but by how many is a moot point. Tate begins the back nine in encouraging fashion by lashing a drive up the middle. However, his nobbled second shot defies all the known laws of physics to finish behind him and further from the hole from where he started.\r\n\r\nRe-freshed by Lawrence and Helen\'s welcome return to sandwich duties, the responsibility of 4-ball scoring is handed to Brett, but without any marked improvement in accuracy. Fortunately by the 11th hole, the clouds blow away and the sun comes out, but in a strange paradox, as Mr. Grumpy frees himself from several layers and the unattractive baseball hat/bobble hat combination, his game falls apart.\r\n\r\nThe warmth of the clubhouse is reached eventually where Brett spends about 30 minutes trying to record an accurate version of events. It\'s determined that the 9\'s have been halved but the 4 ball have sneaked the match 77 points to 75, possibly, approximately, definitely maybe.\r\n\r\nOn the way Mr. Grumpy replays his round in his mind a realises that the 5 on the 9th was actually a 6 and adjusts the web scores accordingly. But it doesn\'t seem to matter.\r\n\r\nFor the 4th week in a row the X Factor goes to Brett with 36 points but the men with a Y Chromosome too many are Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo with 28. Nance also collects 10 camels and there\'s absolutely no need to ask who else collected 7.\r\n\r\nMuffins are reminded to assemble at Mr. Grumpy\'s 6 pm onwards next Friday for G&T\'s prior to the Annual Dinner.\r\n',1,'','',200,489,1,1),
(495,'2008-11-23','2008-11-23 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-23 20:25:08',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,28,214,7,8,'Week Four of the aptly named Winter Season and the previous weeks have been a mere bagatelle compared to what awaits the 7 Muffins on the 328th day of the year. Very cold, punctuated by lashing sleet and rain provide testing conditions that Cutie-Cutie wisely chooses to avoid. Fat-Boy has no waterproof trousers, which means that several of his private bits are going to get even moister than usual, but he arranges that he, DJ and Tate will lead off, followed by Brett, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy elects to score for the 4-ball but has no pencil. Fat-Boy lends him one that he\'s stolen from IKEA but it\'s a 4H which, in combination with a soggy scorecard and the distance glasses pebble-dashed with rain is not a happy combination.\r\n\r\nAt half way it\'s suspected that the 4-ball have a useful lead - but by how many is a moot point. Tate begins the back nine in encouraging fashion by lashing a drive up the middle. However, his nobbled second shot defies all the known laws of physics to finish behind him and further from the hole from where he started.\r\n\r\nRe-freshed by Lawrence and Helen\'s welcome return to sandwich duties, the responsibility of 4-ball scoring is handed to Brett, but without any marked improvement in accuracy. Fortunately by the 11th hole, the clouds blow away and the sun comes out, but in a strange paradox, as Mr. Grumpy frees himself from several layers and the unattractive baseball hat/bobble hat combination, his game falls apart.\r\n\r\nThe warmth of the clubhouse is reached eventually where Brett spends about 30 minutes trying to record an accurate version of events. It\'s determined that the 9\'s have been halved but the 4 ball have sneaked the match 77 points to 75, possibly, approximately, definitely maybe.\r\n\r\nOn the way home Mr. Grumpy replays his round in his mind and realises that a 5 on the 9th was actually a 6 and adjusts the web scores accordingly. But it doesn\'t seem to matter.\r\n\r\nFor the 4th week in a row the X Factor goes to Brett with 36 points but the men with a Y Chromosome too many are Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo with 28. Nance also collects 10 camels and there\'s absolutely no need to ask who else collected 7.\r\n\r\nMuffins are reminded to assemble at Mr. Grumpy\'s 6 pm onwards next Friday for G&T\'s prior to the Annual Dinner.\r\n',1,'','',200,489,1,1),
(496,'2008-11-23','2008-11-23 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-23 20:30:36',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,28,214,7,8,'Week Four of the aptly named Winter Season and the previous weeks have been a mere bagatelle compared to what awaits the 7 Muffins on the 328th day of the year. Very cold, punctuated by lashing sleet and rain provide testing conditions that Cutie-Cutie wisely chooses to avoid. Fat-Boy has no waterproof trousers, which means that several of his private bits are going to get even moister than usual, but he arranges that he, DJ and Tate will lead off, followed by Brett, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy elects to score for the 4-ball but has no pencil. Fat-Boy lends him one that he\'s stolen from IKEA but it\'s a 4H which, in combination with a soggy scorecard and the distance glasses pebble-dashed with rain is not a happy combination.\r\n\r\nAt half way it\'s suspected that the 4-ball have a useful lead - but by how many is a moot point. Tate begins the back nine in encouraging fashion by lashing a drive up the middle. However, his nobbled second shot defies all the known laws of physics to finish behind him and further from the hole from where he started.\r\n\r\nRe-freshed by Lawrence and Helen\'s welcome return to sandwich duties, the responsibility of 4-ball scoring is handed to Brett, but without any marked improvement in accuracy. Fortunately by the 11th hole, the clouds blow away and the sun comes out, but in a strange paradox, as Mr. Grumpy frees himself from several layers and the unattractive baseball hat/bobble hat combination, his game falls apart.\r\n\r\nThe warmth of the clubhouse is reached eventually where Brett spends about 30 minutes trying to record an accurate version of events. It\'s determined that the 9\'s have been halved but the 4 ball have sneaked the match 77 points to 75, possibly, approximately, definitely maybe.\r\n\r\nOn the way home Mr. Grumpy replays his round in his mind and realises that a 5 on the 9th was actually a 6 and adjusts the web scores accordingly. But it doesn\'t seem to matter.\r\n\r\nFor the 4th week in a row the X Factor goes to Brett with 36 points but the men with a Y Chromosome too many are Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo with 28. Nance also collects 10 camels and there\'s absolutely no need to ask who else collected 7.\r\n\r\nMuffins are reminded to assemble at Mr. Grumpy\'s 6 pm onwards next Friday for G&T\'s prior to the Annual Dinner. They are also advised that Monday 24th Nov is a public holiday in Japan - if you can get there in time.\r\n',1,'','',200,489,1,1),
(497,'2008-11-30','2008-11-30 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-11 23:33:06',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,25,242,8,8,'Well at least its not raining - but it\'s damn cold for Round 5 of the Winter Season, which is more like Dancing on Ice as the frost builds up on the golf shoes. Contary to earlier advice Brett actually turns up making it a full 8 Muffins. Fat-Boy decides that Nance, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy will lead off followed by himself, Turbo, DJ and Tate.\r\n\r\nMultiple layers make the smooth athletic swings the Muffins are famous for a little difficult and there\'s still some residual brain damage from the Friday Night Annual Dinner which turned out to be a very bibulous affair.\r\n\r\nNontheless scoring for the front four at least is reasonable and at half way there\'s a 5 point gap. Brett suggests that \"he who holes out first on the 9th stands the cost of the refreshments\" and then shoots himself in the foot by holing a bunker shot for a birdie. Regrettably Lawrence has ignored the previous week\'s request for mulled wine.\r\n\r\nOGC measure 6265 yards off the back tees, but for the second week running Tate stretches this to 6275 yards by contriving to hit a ball backwards. And as the 18th is played, Mr. Grumpy is holding 18 camels, yet Nance contrives to relieve him by overhitting a 20 yard chip into the back bunker. Bliss.\r\n\r\nIn the final event, and after a strangely uncontroversial totalling of the scores, it\'s an eleven point victory for the lead 4 and a very boring fifth victory and ten points on the bounce to Brett. Its become the Sunday morning equivalent of \"one-nil to the Arsenal\" and no, golf is not the winner. Aside from Nance\'s nnnn.....nineteen camels, Turbo chips in with 15 and a couple of other sundries. \r\n\r\nWorth remarking I think that after 5 weeks, Mr. Grumpy is still fines-free.\r\n\r\n ',1,'cutie and the president.jpg','Cutie and El Presidente',200,0,0,1),
(498,'2008-11-30','2008-11-30 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-30 16:55:42',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,25,242,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,497,1,1),
(499,'2008-11-30','2008-11-30 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-30 16:55:42',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,25,242,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,497,1,1),
(500,'2008-12-07','2008-12-07 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-11 23:32:01',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,19,183,7,8,'Sunday 7th and winter arrives with a vengeance. A sharp frost overnight has turned OGC into a skating rink and it\'s a surprise that the winter greens have not been called into play. Fat-Boy divvies the 7 Muffins into Mr. Grumpy, Tate and DJ versus himself, Nance, Turbo and Brett and at 08:15am our heroes venture out into a winter wonderland.\r\n\r\nSeveral tees are on mats which causes Tate to do a passable impression of Bambi on Ice and at the sandwiches a measly 35 points are not thought to be enough. \"Au contraire\". Only Turbo in the 4-ball is mastering the tricky conditions and 35 is more than enough for a healthy lead.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy is not having a good day and visits to several bunkers is not helping. These are rock solid and a number of \"thins\" across a variety of greens are racking up the blobs. Fortunately Tate picks up the camels on 17. His drive hits the bank 50 yards from the tee and lodges in wet leaves. His left foot is in a tractor rut, so he claims relief which DJ is not inclined to allow. Tate, now in a state of high dudgeon, contrives to hit the ball backwards for the 3rd week running and takes another two to advance the ball fwd. A couple of shots later he nobbles it into the greenside bunker and throws his bag in after it.\r\n\r\nAll Mr. Grumpy now has to do is stay out of trouble. A drive, 7 wood and 7 iron leave him 5 yards of the front of the green. A little chip then races across the frozen surface into the back bunker. The impossible \"clunk\" out races back into the front bunker where Mr. Grumpy leaves it in before thinning it off the back of the green again. It\'s a sad end to an unhappy day for which the decorating will provide welcome relief.\r\n\r\nMeanwhile, Turbo is continuing to make light of the conditions and slip-sliding serenely to 34 points and a first 10 pointer of the Winter. He and his colleagues also collect £2. \r\n\r\n',1,'brett the smurf!.jpg','Is it a Smurf?',200,0,0,1),
(501,'2008-12-07','2008-12-07 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-07 14:47:49',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,19,184,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,500,1,1),
(502,'2008-12-07','2008-12-07 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-07 14:47:49',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,19,183,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,500,1,1),
(503,'2008-12-07','2008-12-07 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-07 14:47:49',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,19,183,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,500,1,1),
(504,'2008-12-07','2008-12-07 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-08 11:00:25',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,19,183,7,8,'Sunday 7th and winter arrives with a vengeance. A sharp frost overnight has turned OGC into a skating rink and it\'s a surprise that the winter greens have not been called into play. Fat-Boy divvies the 7 Muffins into Mr. Grumpy, Tate and DJ versus himself, Nance, Turbo and Brett and at 08:15am our heroes venture out into a winter wonderland.\r\n\r\nSeveral tees are on mats which causes Tate to do a passable impression of Bambi on Ice and at the sandwiches a measly 35 points are not thought to be enough. \"Au contraire\". Only Turbo in the 4-ball is mastering the tricky conditions and 35 is more than enough for a healthy lead.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy is not having a good day and visits to several bunkers is not helping. These are rock solid and a number of \"thins\" across a variety of greens are racking up the blobs. Fortunately Tate picks up the camels on 17. His drive hits the bank 50 yards from the tee and lodges in wet leaves. His left foot is in a tractor rut, so he claims relief which DJ is not inclined to allow. Tate, now in a state of high dudgeon, contrives to hit the ball backwards for the 3rd week running and takes another two to advance the ball fwd. A couple of shots later he nobbles it into the greenside bunker and throws his bag in after it.\r\n\r\nAll Mr. Grumpy now has to do is stay out of trouble. A drive, 7 wood and 7 iron leave him 5 yards of the front of the green. A little chip then races across the frozen surface into the back bunker. The impossible \"clunk\" out races back into the front bunker where Mr. Grumpy leaves it in before thinning in off the back of the green again. It\'s a sad end to an unhappy day for which the decorating will provide welcome relief.\r\n\r\nMeanwhile, Turbo is continuing to make light of the conditions and slip-sliding serenely to \r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,500,1,1),
(505,'2008-12-07','2008-12-07 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-08 11:03:51',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,19,183,7,8,'Sunday 7th and winter arrives with a vengeance. A sharp frost overnight has turned OGC into a skating rink and it\'s a surprise that the winter greens have not been called into play. Fat-Boy divvies the 7 Muffins into Mr. Grumpy, Tate and DJ versus himself, Nance, Turbo and Brett and at 08:15am our heroes venture out into a winter wonderland.\r\n\r\nSeveral tees are on mats which causes Tate to do a passable impression of Bambi on Ice and at the sandwiches a measly 35 points are not thought to be enough. \"Au contraire\". Only Turbo in the 4-ball is mastering the tricky conditions and 35 is more than enough for a healthy lead.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy is not having a good day and visits to several bunkers is not helping. These are rock solid and a number of \"thins\" across a variety of greens are racking up the blobs. Fortunately Tate picks up the camels on 17. His drive hits the bank 50 yards from the tee and lodges in wet leaves. His left foot is in a tractor rut, so he claims relief which DJ is not inclined to allow. Tate, now in a state of high dudgeon, contrives to hit the ball backwards for the 3rd week running and takes another two to advance the ball fwd. A couple of shots later he nobbles it into the greenside bunker and throws his bag in after it.\r\n\r\nAll Mr. Grumpy now has to do is stay out of trouble. A drive, 7 wood and 7 iron leave him 5 yards of the front of the green. A little chip then races across the frozen surface into the back bunker. The impossible \"clunk\" out races back into the front bunker where Mr. Grumpy leaves it in before thinning it off the back of the green again. It\'s a sad end to an unhappy day for which the decorating will provide welcome relief.\r\n\r\nMeanwhile, Turbo is continuing to make light of the conditions and slip-sliding serenely to 34 points and a first 10 pointer of the Winter. He and his colleagues also collect £2. \r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,500,1,1),
(506,'2008-11-30','2008-11-30 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-30 18:46:16',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,25,242,8,8,'Well at least its not raining - but it\'s damn cold for Round 5 of the Winter Season, which is more like Dancing on Ice as the frost builds up on the golf shoes. Contary to earlier advice Brett actually turns up making it a full 8 Muffins. Fat-Boy decides that Nance, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy will lead off followed by himself, Turbo, DJ and Tate.\r\n\r\nMultiple layers make the smooth athletic swings the Muffins are famous for a little difficult and there\'s still some residual brain damage from the Friday Night Annual Dinner which turned out to be a very bibulous affair.\r\n\r\nNontheless scoring for the front four at least is reasonable and at half way there\'s a 5 point gap. Brett suggests that \"he who holes out first on the 9th stands the cost of the refreshments\" and then shoots himself in the foot by holing a bunker shot for a birdie. Regrettably Lawrence has ignored the previous week\'s request for mulled wine.\r\n\r\nOGC measure 6265 yards off the back tees, but for the second week running Tate stretches this to 6275 yards by contriving to hit a ball backwards. And as the 18th is played, Mr. Grumpy is holding 18 camels, yet Nance contrives to relieve him by overhitting a 20 yard chip into the back bunker. Bliss.\r\n\r\nIn the final event, and after a strangely uncontroversial totalling of the scores, it\'s an eleven point victory for the lead 4 and a very boring fifth victory and ten points on the bounce to Brett. Its become the Sunday morning equivalent of \"one-nil to the Arsenal\" and no, golf is not the winner. Aside from Nance\'s nnnn.....nineteen camels, Turbo chips in with 15 and a couple of other sundries. \r\n\r\nWorth remarking I think that after 5 weeks, Mr. Grumpy is still fines-free.\r\n\r\n ',1,'','',200,497,1,1),
(507,'2008-11-23','2008-11-23 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-23 20:49:43',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,28,214,7,8,'Week Four of the aptly named Winter Season and the previous weeks have been a mere bagatelle compared to what awaits the 7 Muffins on the 328th day of the year. Very cold, punctuated by lashing sleet and rain provide testing conditions that Cutie-Cutie wisely chooses to avoid. Fat-Boy has no waterproof trousers, which means that several of his private bits are going to get even moister than usual, but he arranges that he, DJ and Tate will lead off, followed by Brett, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy elects to score for the 4-ball but has no pencil. Fat-Boy lends him one that he\'s stolen from IKEA but it\'s a 4H which, in combination with a soggy scorecard and the distance glasses pebble-dashed with rain is not a happy combination.\r\n\r\nAt half way it\'s suspected that the 4-ball have a useful lead - but by how many is a moot point. Tate begins the back nine in encouraging fashion by lashing a drive up the middle. However, his nobbled second shot defies all the known laws of physics to finish behind him and further from the hole from where he started.\r\n\r\nRe-freshed by Lawrence and Helen\'s welcome return to sandwich duties, the responsibility of 4-ball scoring is handed to Brett, but without any marked improvement in accuracy. Fortunately by the 11th hole, the clouds blow away and the sun comes out, but in a strange paradox, as Mr. Grumpy frees himself from several layers and the unattractive baseball hat/bobble hat combination, his game falls apart.\r\n\r\nThe warmth of the clubhouse is reached eventually where Brett spends about 30 minutes trying to record an accurate version of events. It\'s determined that the 9\'s have been halved but the 4 ball have sneaked the match 77 points to 75, possibly, approximately, definitely maybe.\r\n\r\nOn the way home Mr. Grumpy replays his round in his mind and realises that a 5 on the 9th was actually a 6 and adjusts the web scores accordingly. But it doesn\'t seem to matter.\r\n\r\nFor the 4th week in a row the X Factor goes to Brett with 36 points but the men with a Y Chromosome too many are Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo with 28. Nance also collects 10 camels and there\'s absolutely no need to ask who else collected 7.\r\n\r\nMuffins are reminded to assemble at Mr. Grumpy\'s 6 pm onwards next Friday for G&T\'s prior to the Annual Dinner. They are also advised that Monday 24th Nov is a public holiday in Japan - if you can get there in time.\r\n',1,'','',200,489,1,1),
(508,'2008-11-09','2008-11-09 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-18 20:50:34',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,36,29,132,4,8,'It\'s the second week of the winter Strictly Come Golfing Competition, but as the Villa Three have strangely prioritised watching losing at home to Middlesborough, and it\'s a non-Cutie-Cutie week, there\'s only 4 on the tee.\r\n\r\nIt\'s been wazzing down overnight and there\'s more leaves on the course than you could shake a stick at, which obscures any balls not finding the middle of the fairway (also more than you could shake a stick at).\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is on the \"Slimmers World\" diet and has lost 7 pounds (allegedly) but still summons up the strength to throw up the balls and pairs himself with Mr. Grumpy. It\'s a third tee start and by the sixth hole Brett\'s game is reminiscent of the tale of the Three Little Pigs - lot\'s of huffing and puffing, but nothing that\'s going to blow the house down. His putter is stone cold but as he warms it up, the malaise spreads to Nance who leads \"greens in regulation\" but manages to leave 8 out of his ten birdie putts short.\r\n\r\nWith Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy kntting together well, they take the front nine 22 points to 20 and with the back nine halved in 20, it\'s a popular victory for Fat-Boy Slim and The Grumpster.\r\n\r\nIndividually this week\'s Austin Healey is Brett with 36 points whilst this week\'s John Sargeant is Fat-Boy with 29. Brett collects 9 camels - a total restricted due to the increasingly popular \"de-cameling\".\r\n\r\nAs Tate and DJ now head for warmer climes, a six-ball is predicted for Week Three, but if the Slimmer\'s World diet is as good Fat-Boy says it is, and he turns sideways, we may yet think he\'s gone home.',1,'','',200,470,1,1),
(509,'2008-11-16','2008-11-16 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-11-18 20:49:15',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,25,147,5,8,'Sunday 16th November dawns, warm, sunny and bright with not a cloud in the sky, in short, perfect golfing weather - but enough about Portugal - let\'s concentrate on OGC where the real men play. It\'s persisted down overnight again and the course is as slippery as Peter Mandelson on an oligarch\'s yacht. The assembled heroes constitute an unpopular 5-ball and the Head Tosser decides that Brett and Mr. Grumpy will take on Nance, Turbo and himself, commencing on the 6th tee. \r\n\r\nMore wet leaves in the rough than ever mean that finding the fairway is the key to good scores. Pity. The early sandwiches are welcome - if not the outrageous price inflation - and by the 13th It\'s become a closely fought affair. So close in fact that the generally accepted codes of etiquette and common courtesy are abandoned when Mr. Grumpy, on being asked to putt a \"gimme\" then has his downswing disturbed by a loud belch from the Fat-Boy causing a miss. \r\n\r\nThe gloves are clearly off but with Brett playing steadily, augmented by the occasional par from Mr. Grumpy, a lead slowly establishes itself. However Brett, having played 15 holes like Payne Stewart, chooses to play the last 3 like Moira Stewart making the whole affair a little closer than it might have been. However he hangs on to take the individual 10 points for the third week running with Fat-Boy as 1st loser. \r\n\r\nDrama on the camel front as Nance notches 4 on a single hole - the 18th - but with the 5th as a finishing hole, there\'s everything to play for. Mr. Grumpy pops his tee shot in the back right trap for 15. Brett hits the back left trap for 16 but Turbo is short of the brook. Regrettably he then also finds the back left trap for 17, leaves it in for 18 and then thins it across the green for 19 It\'s a sad and unjust conclusion for a chap who, until then, hadn\'t been near a camel all day.',1,'','',200,482,1,1),
(510,'2008-12-21','2008-12-21 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-22 12:14:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,25,146,5,8,'The Sunday before Christmas doubles as the shortest day and at 08:15 am it\'s still dark when an unpopular 5-ball shuffle towards the 6th tee. There\'s no Tate who\'s had an interesting trip to Edinburgh. This has involved a switched plane, an aborted landing, a late arrival causing him to miss the \"do\" to which he\'s travelled and his luggage being left in Birmingham. However, the misery of all this will be leavened when he learns he\'s won a prize in Charlie\'s Christmas Fiddle.\r\n\r\nThere\'s no Cutie-Cutie and no Fat-Boy who\'s taking his parents to see his sister (horny).\r\n\r\nBrett tosses up the balls and mischievously pairs Nance with DJ thus reprising the calamities of the Turkey Trot. The result is no different, both play like goats again.\r\n\r\nBrett has a dodgy start but pulls himself together to pick up the 10 points for the 6th time in 7 winter outings. It\'s all a bit boring, but his performance helps Mr. Grumpy and Turbo to collect the money. In the absence of Tate, Turbo steps up to the plate to collect the camels.\r\n\r\nA discussion of Christmas presents bought for various partners reveals that Julie (as in Nance) will be the proud possessor of a new vacuum cleaner and that Beverley (as in Mr. Grumpy) will be the recipient of a DAB Digital radio so the Grumpster can listen to Five Live Extra. Is there no end to their largesse?\r\n\r\nChristmas and New Year arrangements include a potential knock on Boxing morning -  if Mr. G and Big Dave can sneak out - text messages will confirm and normal arrangements for Sunday 28th.\r\n\r\nA Merry Christmas to all - God bless us every one.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(511,'2008-12-21','2008-12-21 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-21 15:15:01',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,25,147,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,510,1,1),
(512,'2008-12-21','2008-12-21 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-21 15:15:01',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,25,147,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,510,1,1),
(513,'2008-12-21','2008-12-21 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-22 12:09:01',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,25,146,5,8,'The Sunday before Christmas doubles as the shortest day and at 08:15 am it\'s still dark when an unpopular 5-ball shuffle towards the 6th tee. There\'s no Tate who\'s had an interesting trip to Edinburgh. This has involved a switched plane, an aborted landing, a late arrival causing him to miss the \"do\" to which he\'s travelled and his luggage being left in Birmingham. however, the misery of all this will be leavened when he learns he\'s won a prize in Charlie\'s Christmas Fiddle.\r\n\r\nThere\'s no Cutie-Cutie and no Fat-Boy who\'s taking his parents to see his sister (horny).\r\n\r\nBrett tosses up the balls and mischievously pairs Nance with DJ thus reprising the calamities of the Turkey Trot. The result is no different, both play like goats again.\r\n\r\nBrett has a dodgy start but pulls himself together to pick up the 10 points for the 6th time in 7 winter outings. It\'s all a bit boring, but his performance helps Mr. Grumpy and Turbo to collect the money. In the absence of Tate, Turbo steps up to the plate to collect the camels.\r\n\r\nA discussion of Christmas presents bought for various partners reveals that Julie (as in Nance) will be the proud possessor of a new vacuum cleaner and that Beverley (as in Mr. Grumpy) will be the recipient of a DAB Digital radio so the Grumpster can listen to Five Live Extra. Is there no end to their largesse?\r\n\r\nChristmas and New Year arrangements include a potential knock on Boxing morning -  if Mr. G and Big Dave can sneak out - text messages will confirm and normal arrangements for Sunday 28th.\r\n\r\nA Merry Christmas to all - God bless us every one.',1,'','',200,510,1,1),
(514,'2008-12-21','2008-12-21 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-22 12:09:01',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,25,146,5,8,'The Sunday before Christmas doubles as the shortest day and at 08:15 am it\'s still dark when an unpopular 5-ball shuffle towards the 6th tee. There\'s no Tate who\'s had an interesting trip to Edinburgh. This has involved a switched plane, an aborted landing, a late arrival causing him to miss the \"do\" to which he\'s travelled and his luggage being left in Birmingham. however, the misery of all this will be leavened when he learns he\'s won a prize in Charlie\'s Christmas Fiddle.\r\n\r\nThere\'s no Cutie-Cutie and no Fat-Boy who\'s taking his parents to see his sister (horny).\r\n\r\nBrett tosses up the balls and mischievously pairs Nance with DJ thus reprising the calamities of the Turkey Trot. The result is no different, both play like goats again.\r\n\r\nBrett has a dodgy start but pulls himself together to pick up the 10 points for the 6th time in 7 winter outings. It\'s all a bit boring, but his performance helps Mr. Grumpy and Turbo to collect the money. In the absence of Tate, Turbo steps up to the plate to collect the camels.\r\n\r\nA discussion of Christmas presents bought for various partners reveals that Julie (as in Nance) will be the proud possessor of a new vacuum cleaner and that Beverley (as in Mr. Grumpy) will be the recipient of a DAB Digital radio so the Grumpster can listen to Five Live Extra. Is there no end to their largesse?\r\n\r\nChristmas and New Year arrangements include a potential knock on Boxing morning -  if Mr. G and Big Dave can sneak out - text messages will confirm and normal arrangements for Sunday 28th.\r\n\r\nA Merry Christmas to all - God bless us every one.',1,'','',200,510,1,1),
(515,'2008-12-28','2008-12-28 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-30 17:24:35',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,28,243,7,8,'The last match of 2008 and it\'s serious brass monkey\'s, although strangely there\'s no frost. There\'s seven Muffins plus Darren, DJ\'s younger, better looking brother who seems to be wearing a pair of Hush Puppies that actually have studs. \r\n\r\nAfter an interesting interlude in which Fat-Boy drop kicks Brett\'s ball into the heather at the ball-toss to be lost forever, he sends out Tate, Brett, DJ and himself to be followed by Nance, Turbo, Mr. Grumpy and the aforesaid Darren who, given a dearth of any other information, assumes DJ\'s handicap. He\'s also been equipped with DJ\'s square \"brick on a stick\" driver which curiously, in Darren\'s hands seems to go long and straight.\r\n\r\nAt the welcome warmth of the coffee and sandwiches it\'s all-square, 56 points each. Fat-Boy seems to be having a good day, but not so the winter maestro Brett who\'s going to have to come from a long way back to maintain his record.\r\n\r\nNance\'s front 9 is highlighted by a double-hit duffed chip on the third, a difficult shot he manages to repeat to general acclaim on the 11th.\r\n\r\nThe A Team hit a streak of form on the back 9 to run out clear 12 point winners which includes an impressive 20+22=42 from the Fat-Boy whose reward will be a savage handicap reduction. Mr. Grumpy is depressed to come second with 38, collect only 6 points and a probable drop in his winter average. As per instructions Darren collects the B Team camels (15) which transfer to DJ, but disappointingly DJ himself stays clear of trouble bar a duck.\r\n\r\nAll in all a successful conclusion to the Muffin calendar year and hopes run high for an equally enjoyable 2009: which might even include a Tour if anyone can be sufficiently arsed to organise it.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'majto10th.jpg','Mr. Grumpy looking for a stiffy at the 10th',200,0,0,1),
(516,'2008-12-28','2008-12-28 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-28 14:56:27',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,31,246,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,515,1,1),
(517,'2008-12-28','2008-12-28 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-28 14:56:27',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,29,244,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,515,1,1),
(518,'2008-12-28','2008-12-28 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-28 14:56:27',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,28,243,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,515,1,1),
(519,'2008-12-28','2008-12-28 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-28 14:56:27',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,28,243,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,515,1,1),
(520,'2008-12-28','2008-12-28 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-28 19:02:32',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,28,243,7,8,'The last match of 2008 and it\'s serious brass monkey\'s, although strangely there\'s no frost. There\'s seven Muffins plus Darren, DJ\'s younger, better looking brother who seems to be wearing a pair of Hush Puppies that actually have studs. \r\n\r\nAfter an interesting interlude in which Fat-Boy drop kicks Brett\'s ball into the heather at the ball-toss to be lost forever, he sends out Tate, Brett, DJ and himself to be followed by Nance, Turbo, Mr. Grumpy and the aforesaid Darren who, given a dearth of any other information, assumes DJ\'s handicap. He\'s also been equipped with DJ\'s square \"brick on a stick\" driver which curiously, in Darren\'s hands seems to go long and straight.\r\n\r\nAt the welcome warmth of the coffee and sandwiches it\'s all-square, 56 points each. Fat-Boy seems to be having a good day, but not so the winter maestro Brett who\'s going to have to come from a long way back to maintain his record.\r\n\r\nNance\'s front 9 is highlighted by a double-hit duffed chip on the third, a difficult shot he manages to repeat to general acclaim on the 11th.\r\n\r\nThe A Team hit a streak of form on the back 9 to run out clear 12 point winners which includes an impressive 20+22=42 from the Fat-Boy whose reward will be a savage handicap reduction. Mr. Grumpy is depressed to come second with 38, collect only 6 points and a probable drop in his winter average. As per instructions Darren collects the B Team camels (15) which transfer to DJ, but disappointingly DJ himself stays clear of trouble bar a duck.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,515,1,1),
(521,'2008-12-28','2008-12-28 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-28 19:11:58',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,28,243,7,8,'The last match of 2008 and it\'s serious brass monkey\'s, although strangely there\'s no frost. There\'s seven Muffins plus Darren, DJ\'s younger, better looking brother who seems to be wearing a pair of Hush Puppies that actually have studs. \r\n\r\nAfter an interesting interlude in which Fat-Boy drop kicks Brett\'s ball into the heather at the ball-toss to be lost forever, he sends out Tate, Brett, DJ and himself to be followed by Nance, Turbo, Mr. Grumpy and the aforesaid Darren who, given a dearth of any other information, assumes DJ\'s handicap. He\'s also been equipped with DJ\'s square \"brick on a stick\" driver which curiously, in Darren\'s hands seems to go long and straight.\r\n\r\nAt the welcome warmth of the coffee and sandwiches it\'s all-square, 56 points each. Fat-Boy seems to be having a good day, but not so the winter maestro Brett who\'s going to have to come from a long way back to maintain his record.\r\n\r\nNance\'s front 9 is highlighted by a double-hit duffed chip on the third, a difficult shot he manages to repeat to general acclaim on the 11th.\r\n\r\nThe A Team hit a streak of form on the back 9 to run out clear 12 point winners which includes an impressive 20+22=42 from the Fat-Boy whose reward will be a savage handicap reduction. Mr. Grumpy is depressed to come second with 38, collect only 6 points and a probable drop in his winter average. As per instructions Darren collects the B Team camels (15) which transfer to DJ, but disappointingly DJ himself stays clear of trouble bar a duck.\r\n\r\nAll in all a successful conclusion to the Muffin calendar year and hopes run high for an equally enjoyable 2009: which might even include a Tour if anyone can be sufficiently arsed to organise it.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,515,1,1),
(522,'2008-12-28','2008-12-28 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2008-12-30 17:22:52',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,28,243,7,8,'The last match of 2008 and it\'s serious brass monkey\'s, although strangely there\'s no frost. There\'s seven Muffins plus Darren, DJ\'s younger, better looking brother who seems to be wearing a pair of Hush Puppies that actually have studs. \r\n\r\nAfter an interesting interlude in which Fat-Boy drop kicks Brett\'s ball into the heather at the ball-toss to be lost forever, he sends out Tate, Brett, DJ and himself to be followed by Nance, Turbo, Mr. Grumpy and the aforesaid Darren who, given a dearth of any other information, assumes DJ\'s handicap. He\'s also been equipped with DJ\'s square \"brick on a stick\" driver which curiously, in Darren\'s hands seems to go long and straight.\r\n\r\nAt the welcome warmth of the coffee and sandwiches it\'s all-square, 56 points each. Fat-Boy seems to be having a good day, but not so the winter maestro Brett who\'s going to have to come from a long way back to maintain his record.\r\n\r\nNance\'s front 9 is highlighted by a double-hit duffed chip on the third, a difficult shot he manages to repeat to general acclaim on the 11th.\r\n\r\nThe A Team hit a streak of form on the back 9 to run out clear 12 point winners which includes an impressive 20+22=42 from the Fat-Boy whose reward will be a savage handicap reduction. Mr. Grumpy is depressed to come second with 38, collect only 6 points and a probable drop in his winter average. As per instructions Darren collects the B Team camels (15) which transfer to DJ, but disappointingly DJ himself stays clear of trouble bar a duck.\r\n\r\nAll in all a successful conclusion to the Muffin calendar year and hopes run high for an equally enjoyable 2009: which might even include a Tour if anyone can be sufficiently arsed to organise it.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'majto10th.jpg','',200,515,1,1),
(523,'2009-01-04','2009-01-04 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-04 20:35:46',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,196,7,8,'First match of 2009 and possibly the coldest ever with frozen greens and frosted fairways, but certainly not severe enough to keep the Muffins in bed - apart from Cutie-Cutie that is, who having been invisible for several weeks, has become some sort of virtual Muffin.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy does the necessary and Mr. Grumpy, Nance and Turbo constitute Team 1 followed by Brett, Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate as Team 2. The key to scoring is to hit approach shots into the green about 20 yards short and then rely on Lady Luck, but the hardest part of the morning is actually getting a tee peg into the ground. In short it\'s a lottery and one that Nance appears to have no chance of winning.\r\n\r\nNever was a black pudding and sausage sandwich (cut into two equal halves please) more welcome and with uncharacteristic scoring accuracy, the Teams are level at halfway, 32 points apeice.\r\n\r\nTate\'s had a slow start but over 6 holes from the 7th to the 12th, collects 16 points including a couple of 4\'s to transform his round. He wins the individual honours with a 33 point total and assists his colleagues to come away with £3. Mr. Grumpy and Turbo - who once again masters the icy conditions - share equal 2nd place. But Turbo mars this with 16 camels and Brett, whose winter bubble seems to have burst, also collects 15 courtesy of a duff chip and bad bounce on the 18th.\r\n\r\nAll in all a satisfactory morning in testing conditions although it\'s worth noting that despite winning, Tate\'s handicap somehow stays the same and Nance\'s handicap is rising like a New Year\'s Eve rocket.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(524,'2009-01-04','2009-01-04 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-04 20:05:52',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,196,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,523,1,1),
(525,'2009-01-04','2009-01-04 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-04 20:05:52',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,196,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,523,1,1),
(526,'2009-01-04','2009-01-04 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-04 20:05:52',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,196,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,523,1,1),
(527,'2009-01-04','2009-01-04 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-04 20:30:00',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,196,7,8,'First match of 2009 and possibly the coldest ever with frozen greens and frosted fairways but certainly not severe enough to keep the Muffins in bed - apart from Cutie-Cutie that is, who having been invisible for several weeks, has become some sort of virtual Muffin.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy does the necessary and Mr. Grumpy, Nance and Turbo constitute Team 1 followed by Brett, Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate as Team 2. The key to scoring is to hit approach shots into the green about 20 yards short and then rely on Lady Luck, but the hardest part of the morning is actually getting a tee peg into the ground. In short it\'s a lottery and one that Nance appears to have no chance of winning.\r\n\r\nNever was a black pudding and sausage sandwich (cut into two equal halves please) more welcome and with uncharacteristic scoring accuracy, the Teams are level at halfway, 32 points apeice.\r\n\r\nTate\'s had a slow start but over 6 holes from the 7th to the 12th, collects 16 points including a couple of 4\'s to transform his round. He wins the individual honours with a 33 point total and assists his colleagues to come away with £3. Mr. Grumpy and Turbo - who once again masters the icy conditions - share equal 2nd place. But Turbo mars this with 16 camels and Brett, whose winter bubble seems to have burst, also collects 15 courtesy of a duff chip and bad bounce on the 18th.\r\n\r\nAll in all a satisfactory morning in testing conditions.',1,'','',200,523,1,1),
(528,'2009-01-11','2009-01-11 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-12 11:28:36',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,36,21,196,7,8,'It\'s been arctic all week and while Sunday brings a slight rise in temperatures, the greens are still frozen solid for Round Ten of the Winter Trophy. Turbo is assigned to preparing Mr. Grumpy\'s lunch so there\'s only 7 attendees including the welcome return of Cutie-Cutie who doesn\'t look a day older.\r\n\r\nThe three-ball is Fat-Boy, the aforesaid Cutie-Cutie and Tate, followed by Nance, Brett, DJ and Mr. Grumpy. Within two holes Brett is vowing never to turn up ever again in frozen conditions, which doesn\'t bode well. Scoring is a bit of a lottery and at half-way, Nance\'s individual 17 points is a stand-out score and enables the 4-ball to open their account with a £1.\r\n\r\nThe weekly lottery of the refeshment prices quickly pales into insignificance with the news that Brett has actually got married over 6 months ago. Apparently the only reason is for this momentous event is to tidy up the surnames of various children. As Miss Turner would say, \"what\'s love got to do with it?\" And given that Brett\'s new wife is in the habit of adopting new Christian names seemingly at the drop of a hat, this seems a specious argument.\r\n\r\nThere follows much discussion as to which is worse: whether to be not invited to a wedding that one knows about, i.e. that of Mr. Grumpy\'s daughter, or to be not invited to one that one doesn\'t know about i.e. Brett\'s.\r\n\r\nAt the resumption of the golf, Nance stretches his lead to a comfortable 36 stableford point victory and enables the 4-ball to shade the match, although they lose the back 9. In a vain attempt to save £2, Fat-Boy and Tate engage in some arcane discussion of how the 17/24ths formula might be re-applied in ways that only Johannes Kepler would be interested in.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a productive day on the fines front with Nance and Tate collecting lots of camels and there\'s a smattering of OOB\'s and Ducks. Cutie-Cutie tries his best to get an OOB into the woods beyond the 14th fairway from the 16th tee, but somehow turns this into a routine par 4.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(529,'2009-01-11','2009-01-11 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-11 14:42:18',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,36,21,194,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,528,1,1),
(530,'2009-01-11','2009-01-11 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-11 14:42:18',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,36,21,196,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,528,1,1),
(531,'2009-01-11','2009-01-11 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-11 14:42:18',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,36,21,196,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,528,1,1),
(532,'2009-01-11','2009-01-11 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-11 21:38:03',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,36,21,196,7,8,'It\'s been arctic all week and while Sunday brings a slight rise in temperatures, the greens are still frozen solid for Round Ten of the Winter Trophy. Turbo is assigned to preparing Mr. Grumpy\'s lunch so there\'s only 7 attendees including the welcome return of Cutie-Cutie who doesn\'t look a day older.\r\n\r\nThe three-ball is Fat-Boy, the aforesaid Cutie-Cutie and Tate, followed by Nance, Brett, DJ and Mr. Grumpy. Within two holes Brett is vowing never to turn up ever again in frozen conditions, which doesn\'t bode well. Scoring is a bit of a lottery and at half-way, Nance\'s individual 17 points is a stand-out score and enables the 4-ball to open their account with a £1.\r\n\r\nThe weekly lottery of the refeshment prices quickly pales into insignificance with the news that Brett has actually got married over 6 months ago. Apparently the only reason is for this momentous event is to tidy up the surnames of various children. As Miss Turner would say, \"what\'s love got to do with it?\" Given that Brett\'s new wife has adopted several different Christian names seeminglay at random, this seems a specious argument.\r\n\r\nThere follows much discussion as to which is worse: whether to be uninvited to a wedding that one knows about, i.e. Mr. Grumpy\'s daughter or to be uninvited to one that one doesn\'t know about i.e. Brett\'s.\r\n\r\nAt the resumption of the golf, Nance stretches his lead to a comfortable 36 point victory and enables the 4-ball to shade the match, although they lose the back 9. In a vain attempt to save £2 Fat-Boy and Tate engage in some arcane discussion of how the 17/24ths formula might be re-applied that only Johannes Kepler would be interested in.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a productive day on the fines front with Nance and Tate collecting lots of camels and there\'s a smattering of OOB\'s and Ducks. Cutie-Cutie tries his best to get an OOB into the woods beyond the 14th fairway from the 16th tee, but somehow turns this into a routine par 4.',1,'','',200,528,1,1),
(533,'2009-01-11','2009-01-11 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-11 21:42:55',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,36,21,196,7,8,'It\'s been arctic all week and while Sunday brings a slight rise in temperatures, the greens are still frozen solid for Round Ten of the Winter Trophy. Turbo is assigned to preparing Mr. Grumpy\'s lunch so there\'s only 7 attendees including the welcome return of Cutie-Cutie who doesn\'t look a day older.\r\n\r\nThe three-ball is Fat-Boy, the aforesaid Cutie-Cutie and Tate, followed by Nance, Brett, DJ and Mr. Grumpy. Within two holes Brett is vowing never to turn up ever again in frozen conditions, which doesn\'t bode well. Scoring is a bit of a lottery and at half-way, Nance\'s individual 17 points is a stand-out score and enables the 4-ball to open their account with a £1.\r\n\r\nThe weekly lottery of the refeshment prices quickly pales into insignificance with the news that Brett has actually got married over 6 months ago. Apparently the only reason is for this momentous event is to tidy up the surnames of various children. As Miss Turner would say, \"what\'s love got to do with it?\" And given that Brett\'s new wife is in the habit of adopting new Christian names seemingly at the drop of a hat, this seems a specious argument.\r\n\r\nThere follows much discussion as to which is worse: whether to be uninvited to a wedding that one knows about, i.e. that of Mr. Grumpy\'s daughter, or to be uninvited to one that one doesn\'t know about i.e. Brett\'s.\r\n\r\nAt the resumption of the golf, Nance stretches his lead to a comfortable 36 point victory and enables the 4-ball to shade the match, although they lose the back 9. In a vain attempt to save £2 Fat-Boy and Tate engage in some arcane discussion of how the 17/24ths formula might be re-applied that only Johannes Kepler would be interested in.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a productive day on the fines front with Nance and Tate collecting lots of camels and there\'s a smattering of OOB\'s and Ducks. Cutie-Cutie tries his best to get an OOB into the woods beyond the 14th fairway from the 16th tee, but somehow turns this into a routine par 4.',1,'','',200,528,1,1),
(534,'2009-01-11','2009-01-11 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-11 21:45:58',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,36,21,196,7,8,'It\'s been arctic all week and while Sunday brings a slight rise in temperatures, the greens are still frozen solid for Round Ten of the Winter Trophy. Turbo is assigned to preparing Mr. Grumpy\'s lunch so there\'s only 7 attendees including the welcome return of Cutie-Cutie who doesn\'t look a day older.\r\n\r\nThe three-ball is Fat-Boy, the aforesaid Cutie-Cutie and Tate, followed by Nance, Brett, DJ and Mr. Grumpy. Within two holes Brett is vowing never to turn up ever again in frozen conditions, which doesn\'t bode well. Scoring is a bit of a lottery and at half-way, Nance\'s individual 17 points is a stand-out score and enables the 4-ball to open their account with a £1.\r\n\r\nThe weekly lottery of the refeshment prices quickly pales into insignificance with the news that Brett has actually got married over 6 months ago. Apparently the only reason is for this momentous event is to tidy up the surnames of various children. As Miss Turner would say, \"what\'s love got to do with it?\" And given that Brett\'s new wife is in the habit of adopting new Christian names seemingly at the drop of a hat, this seems a specious argument.\r\n\r\nThere follows much discussion as to which is worse: whether to be uninvited to a wedding that one knows about, i.e. that of Mr. Grumpy\'s daughter, or to be uninvited to one that one doesn\'t know about i.e. Brett\'s.\r\n\r\nAt the resumption of the golf, Nance stretches his lead to a comfortable 36 stableford point victory and enables the 4-ball to shade the match, although they lose the back 9. In a vain attempt to save £2 Fat-Boy and Tate engage in some arcane discussion of how the 17/24ths formula might be re-applied that only Johannes Kepler would be interested in.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a productive day on the fines front with Nance and Tate collecting lots of camels and there\'s a smattering of OOB\'s and Ducks. Cutie-Cutie tries his best to get an OOB into the woods beyond the 14th fairway from the 16th tee, but somehow turns this into a routine par 4.',1,'','',200,528,1,1),
(535,'2009-01-18','2009-01-18 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-18 17:12:19',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,26,215,7,8,'Another week without Cutie-Cutie, and he is in danger losing his tour card under the 25% rule, only an appearance next week will put off a difficult decision for the kangaroo-court.\r\n\r\nThe remaining 7 Muffins were fortunate to find the course open – OGC had been on the receiving end of an overnight deluge.  In stark contrast to the frozen greens of recent weeks, all were therefore looking forward to a  few receptive surfaces for once.  It\'s been some time since they were hard and firm, buts that\'s a story for another day.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy and Turbos social life had once again tried to get in the way of the Sunday morning match, a luncheon appointment forced an early start for themselves plus Tate and DJ.  Nance, Brett and Fat-Boy followed along a little later. \r\n\r\nAs early as the tee shot from the first, it was clear that Mr. Grumpy mind was more on piling on the calories, than piling on the points.  A tee shot into the oak tree, followed by a drop and a chip out, he was hitting his 4th shot from only 30 yards in front of the tee.  It was going to be a long morning.\r\n\r\nDJ and Turbo showed signs of a golf-game however Mr. Grumpy and Tates efforts resulted in the 4-ball being a couple down at the sandwiches.  Fat-Boy showed the sort of commitment needed to help his team win the front 9 with a de-duck at the 2nd.\r\n\r\nThe back 9 was a slightly different story, and a lacklustre performance from Nance, Brett and Fat-Boy with a uninspiring 36 points was never thought to be enough. So it proved, and with the match drawn for the 2nd week running, the one winner was the guy who devised the 17/24ths scoring system.\r\n\r\nNance edged the individual match for the 2nd week running with 34 points.   Fat-Boy and DJ picked up the camels.  Mr. Grumpy added to his extras total with a boob and a duck.\r\n\r\nAll to look forward to leaving their waterproofs in the locker next week. ',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(536,'2009-01-18','2009-01-18 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-18 15:45:37',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,27,8,102,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,535,1,1),
(537,'2009-01-18','2009-01-18 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-18 15:45:37',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,12,170,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,535,1,1),
(538,'2009-01-18','2009-01-18 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-18 15:45:37',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,12,181,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,535,1,1),
(539,'2009-01-18','2009-01-18 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-18 15:45:37',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,17,201,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,535,1,1),
(540,'2009-01-18','2009-01-18 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-18 15:45:37',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,26,215,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,535,1,1),
(541,'2009-01-18','2009-01-18 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-18 15:45:37',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,26,215,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,535,1,1),
(542,'2009-01-25','2009-01-25 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-25 16:01:24',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,23,197,6,8,'It\'s MasterGolfer. \"We\'re looking for an amateur golfer who can make it as a professional.\" \"Someone who can turn-out an exceptional game of golf under pressure, - golfing doesn\'t get any tougher than this\". \r\n\r\nWell you\'re looking in the wrong place squire.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a very soggy Sunday and OGC once again is open when maybe it ought not to be - and if it\'s open you can guarantee there\'ll be Muffins in attendance. Only six as it turns out. Fat-Boy is north of the border celebrating Robbie Burn\'s birthday and DJ has come down with PMT resulting in a morning cry-off that will cost him 4 Owls and the aggregate camels. Nance tosses the balls over the fence and sends out Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy whilst he decides to partner Tate and Turbo.\r\n\r\nIt\'s moist, in fact it\'s more suited to Rebecca Adlington that the cream of Muffins golfers but scoring is respectable and for a moment it looks as if it will be the third tied match on the trot until Mr. Grumpy realises that 2+2 is actually 4 and not 3 which enables Brett, Cutie-Cutie and himself to shade the match and £2 by a point.\r\n\r\nNance is in peerless form garnering a 4 point individual victory from Mr. Grumpy, but also 4 camels and with all camels heading DJ\'s way, it\'s a bit of a disppointment that Cutie-Cutie only adds another 5. \r\n\r\nTurbo has hosted Mr. Grumpy among others to an excellent Burn\'s Night Supper the night before and by the 14th, the haggis is exacting its revenge - or was it maybe the scotch and red wine? Difficult to know.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(543,'2009-01-25','2009-01-25 08:00:00',1,2,67,67,'','2009-01-25 15:30:15',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,542,1,1),
(544,'2009-01-25','2009-01-25 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-25 15:30:41',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,23,196,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,542,1,1),
(545,'2009-01-25','2009-01-25 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-25 15:30:41',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,23,197,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,542,1,1),
(546,'2009-01-25','2009-01-25 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-01-25 15:30:41',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,23,197,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,542,1,1),
(547,'2009-02-01','2009-02-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-01 15:10:10',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,27,180,6,8,'With Charlie Neil forecasting a total white-out, it was with great surprise that Muffins woke up to find that the snow was holding off just long enough for the Sunday 4-ball to complete.  Seemingly benign conditions for those looking out of the window from under a warm duvet, however for Muffins, the biting nor-easterly made the temperatures raw at best, and a need for a minimum of 6 layers all round – only 4 for Fat-Boy, who has 2 layers fitted as standard.\r\n\r\nConditions, then very similar to the Dubai Desert Classic, the other event competing for time on the TV schedules this weekend.\r\n\r\nOnly 6 Muffins this week, yet another non Cutie-Cutie week.  Mr. Grumpy also is absent on holiday in South-Africa, and as he reminds the boys via text before the match, he is spending his time with the hyenas and baboons, as usual for a Sunday.\r\n\r\nTop tosser is back to his duties following a week off, and decides he wants to play with Tate and DJ, leaving Turbo to put with the expected bickering from Brett and Nance.\r\n\r\nFrom the opening tee shots, it was clear that Turbo, Nance and Brett were going to struggle.  With the team picking up a measly 2 points for the 1st hole, a long round looked in prospect. However a gross birdie for Nance and a par for Brett at 2 brought them back into the game.  Hockey-cokey golf followed, however, in-out-in-out all the way to the sandwiches and a significant deficit of 5 points for the front 9. \r\n\r\nThe back 9 continued in a similar vein. A brief distraction for the Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate whilst walking up the 11th sees the OGC captain fire his drive down 9 straight at the yellow tee marker, the ball ending up behind him, the tee marked 10 years ahead of its original position.  Charlie required Mr. Pick to play his 2nd immediately, since it was his honour.  \r\n\r\nThis brief interlude fails to break the concentration of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate, who hold on to take the back 9 by a short head, and the match by a clear margin.  Tate takes individual honours on a day of mediocre scoring.   He also decides to claim the camels for his team, as does Nance for his.  Turbo adds two little ducks, and DJ a further 1 to the pot.\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(548,'2009-02-01','2009-02-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-01 14:57:03',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,32,27,179,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,547,1,1),
(549,'2009-02-01','2009-02-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-01 14:57:03',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,27,180,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,547,1,1),
(550,'2009-02-01','2009-02-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-01 14:57:03',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,27,180,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,547,1,1),
(551,'2009-02-01','2009-02-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-01 15:06:13',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,27,180,6,8,'With Charlie Neil forecasting a total white-out, it was with great surprise that Muffins woke up to find that the snow was holding off just long enough for the Sunday 4-ball to complete.  Seemingly benign conditions for those looking out of the window from under a warm duvet, however for Muffins, the biting nor-easterly made the temperatures raw at best, and a need for a minimum of 6 layers all round – only 4 for Fat-Boy, who has 2 layers fitted as standard.\r\n\r\nConditions, then very similar to the Dubai Desert Classic, the other event competing for time on the TV schedules this weekend.\r\n\r\nOnly 6 Muffins this week, yet another non Cutie-Cutie week.  Mr. Grumpy also is absent on holiday in South-Africa, and as he reminds the boys via text before the match, he is spending his time with the hyenas and baboons, as usual for a Sunday.\r\n\r\nTop tosser is back to his duties following a week off, and decides he wants to play with Tate and DJ, leaving Turbo to put with the expected bickering from Brett and Nance.\r\n\r\nFrom the opening tee shots, it was clear that Turbo, Nance and Brett were going to struggle.  With the team picking up a measly 2 points for the 1st hole, a long round looked in prospect. However a gross birdie for Nance and a par for Brett at 2 brought them back into the game.  Hockey-cokey golf followed, however, in-out-in-out all the way to the sandwiches and a significant deficit of 5 points for the front 9. \r\n\r\nThe back 9 continued in a similar vein. A brief distraction for the Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate whilst walking up the 11th sees the OGC captain fire his drive down 9 straight at the yellow tee marker, the ball ending up behind him, the tee marked 10 years ahead of its original position.  Charlie required Mr. Pick to play his 2nd immediately, since it was his honour.  \r\n\r\nThis brief interlude fails to break the concentration of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate, who hold on to take the back 9 by a short head, and the match by a clear margin.  Tate takes individual honours on a day of mediocre scoring.   He also decides to claim the camels for his team, as does Nance for his.  Turbo adds a couple of ducks to the pot.\r\n',1,'','',200,547,1,1),
(552,'2009-02-15','2009-02-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-19 00:17:41',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,27,220,7,8,'Q: A half-eaten pear lies directly in front of a ball in a bunker and there is no pear tree in the vicinity of the bunker. In the circumstances, is the pear an obstruction rather than a loose impediment, in which case could the player remove it without penalty?\r\nA: No. A pear is a natural object. When detached from a tree it is a loose impediment. The fact that the pear has been half-eaten and there is no pear tree in the vicinity does not alter the status of the pear.\r\n\r\nAlthough somewhat arcane, the above Decision on the Rules of Golf is decidedly more straightforward than the shenanigans engaged in by DJ in the bunker short of the 16th green - but, I am getting ahead of myself. \r\n\r\nThe snow has thawed sufficiently for a resumption of the Winter Competition and 7 Muffins assemble sometime between 07:45 and 08:15am. Fat-Boy chucks \'em up and then kicks \'em around until they settle in a combination that suits him. He trots off with Tate and Turbo leaving Nance, DJ, and Mr. Grumpy to await the tardy Brett.\r\n\r\nConditions aren\'t too bad although Mr. Grumpy, Brett and DJ make early acquaintances with some aquatic fowl and at half-way, only Nance can claim a respectable total. The front 9 is halved but stellar performances on the back 9 by the three-ball lead to a clear 7 point victory. Nance leads the individual with 36 points shading Fat-Boy by a point. Mr. Grumpy and DJ are shite.\r\n\r\nIt\'s also lucrative on the fines front with an aggregate 27 camels, 6 ducks and a couple of OOB\'s to swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\nBut back to the 16th. DJ is in the bunker, but his ball lies in a river bed caused by draining water - which he doesn\'t fancy. Close by, but not the nearest point of relief and not marked as GUR (although it should be) is a drainage trench dug by the greenkeeper. If DJ drops his ball it will plug - which he also doesn\'t fancy. So, he drops it into the trench - twice - and the places it nowhere near the point of impact of the last drop. He then thins it out onto the 13th tee. \r\n\r\nRule 20-2a/3 applies.\r\nQ: A player obtaining relief from ground under repair dropped a ball in a manner not conforming with Rule 20-2a and in a wrong place. What is the ruling?\r\nA: If the player corrected the errors before playing his next stoke, there was no penalty (Rule 20-6).\r\nIf the player failed to correct the errors before playing his next stroke:\r\na) In match play, he lost the hole for playing from a wrong place - Rule 20-7b.\r\nb) In stroke play he incurred a penalty of three strokes - one stroke for dropping in an improper manner (Rule 20-2a) and two strokes for a breach of Rule 25-1b (see Rule 20-7c). (Revised).\r\nc) He is a tosser.\r\n\r\nSee also Muffins vs Brett on the 17th.\r\n\r\nIt is a shame that the match reporter did not refer to rule 25 (abnormal ground conditions) that confirms that a player can drop the ball in a bunker within one club length of the nearest point of relief. At this point the drop into the newly created ditch in the bunker was within the rules. However it should also be noted that if a hole is created by the greenkeeper it is designated GUR whether marked or not.\r\n\r\nIt shows that the muffins knowledge of the rules of golf is somewhat limited and therefore it is fair to say that people in glass houses should avoid throwing stones!\r\n\r\nTherein lies the case for the defence.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(553,'2009-02-15','2009-02-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-15 14:24:03',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,27,220,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,552,1,1),
(554,'2009-02-15','2009-02-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-15 14:24:03',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,27,220,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,552,1,1),
(555,'2009-02-15','2009-02-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-15 18:18:53',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,27,220,7,8,'Q: A half-eaten pear lies directly in front of a ball in a bunker and there is no pear tree in the vicinity of the bunker. In the circumstances, is the pear an obstruction rather than a loose impediment, in which case could the player remove it without penalty?\r\nA: No. A pear is a natural object. When detached from a tree it is a loose impediment. The fact that the pear has been half-eaten and there is no pear tree in the vicinity does not alter the staus of the pear.\r\n\r\nAlthough somewhat arcane, the above Decision on the Rules of Golf is decidedly more straightforward than the shenanigans engaged in by DJ in the bunker short of the 16th green - but, I am getting ahead of myself. \r\n\r\nThe snow has thawed sufficiently for a resumption of the Winter Competition and 7 Muffins assemble sometime between 07:45 and 08:15am. Fat-Boy chucks \'em up and then kicks \'em around until they settle in a combination that suits him. He trots off with Tate and Turbo leaving Nance, DJ, and Mr. Grumpy to await the tardy Brett.\r\n\r\nConditions aren\'t too bad although Mr. Grumpy, Brett and DJ make early acquaintances with some aquatic fowl and at half-way, only Nance can claim a respectable total. The front 9 is halved but stellar performances on the back 9 by the three-ball lead to a clear 7 point victory. Nance leads the individual with 36 points shading Fat-Boy by a point. Mr. Grumpy and DJ are shite.\r\n\r\nIt\'s also lucrative on the fines front with an aggregate 27 camels, 6 ducks and a couple of OOB\'s to swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\nBut back to the 16th. DJ is in the bunker, but his ball lies in a river bed caused by draining water - which he doesn\'t fancy. Close by , but not the nearest point of relief and not marked as GUR (although it should be) is a drainage trench dug by the greenkeeper. If DJ drops his ball it will plug - which he also doesn\'t fancy. So, he drops it into the trench - twice - and the places it nowhere near the point of impact of the last drop. He then thins it out onto the 13th tee. \r\n\r\nRule 20-2a/3 applies.\r\nQ: A player obtaining relief from ground under repair dropped a ball in a manner not conforming with Rule 20-2a and in a wrong place. What is the ruling?\r\nA: If the player corrected the errors before playing his next stoke, there was no penalty (Rule 20-6).\r\nIf the player failed to correct the errors before playing his next stroke:\r\na) In match play, he lost the hole for playing from a wrong place - Rule 20-7b.\r\nb) In stroke play he incurred a penalty of three strokes - one stroke for dropping in an improper manner (Rule 20-2a) and two strokes for a breach of Rule 25-1b (see Rule 20-7c). (Revised).\r\nc) He is a tosser.\r\n\r\nSee also Muffins vs Brett on the 17th.',1,'','',200,552,1,1),
(556,'2009-02-15','2009-02-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-15 18:21:29',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,27,220,7,8,'Q: A half-eaten pear lies directly in front of a ball in a bunker and there is no pear tree in the vicinity of the bunker. In the circumstances, is the pear an obstruction rather than a loose impediment, in which case could the player remove it without penalty?\r\nA: No. A pear is a natural object. When detached from a tree it is a loose impediment. The fact that the pear has been half-eaten and there is no pear tree in the vicinity does not alter the status of the pear.\r\n\r\nAlthough somewhat arcane, the above Decision on the Rules of Golf is decidedly more straightforward than the shenanigans engaged in by DJ in the bunker short of the 16th green - but, I am getting ahead of myself. \r\n\r\nThe snow has thawed sufficiently for a resumption of the Winter Competition and 7 Muffins assemble sometime between 07:45 and 08:15am. Fat-Boy chucks \'em up and then kicks \'em around until they settle in a combination that suits him. He trots off with Tate and Turbo leaving Nance, DJ, and Mr. Grumpy to await the tardy Brett.\r\n\r\nConditions aren\'t too bad although Mr. Grumpy, Brett and DJ make early acquaintances with some aquatic fowl and at half-way, only Nance can claim a respectable total. The front 9 is halved but stellar performances on the back 9 by the three-ball lead to a clear 7 point victory. Nance leads the individual with 36 points shading Fat-Boy by a point. Mr. Grumpy and DJ are shite.\r\n\r\nIt\'s also lucrative on the fines front with an aggregate 27 camels, 6 ducks and a couple of OOB\'s to swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\nBut back to the 16th. DJ is in the bunker, but his ball lies in a river bed caused by draining water - which he doesn\'t fancy. Close by, but not the nearest point of relief and not marked as GUR (although it should be) is a drainage trench dug by the greenkeeper. If DJ drops his ball it will plug - which he also doesn\'t fancy. So, he drops it into the trench - twice - and the places it nowhere near the point of impact of the last drop. He then thins it out onto the 13th tee. \r\n\r\nRule 20-2a/3 applies.\r\nQ: A player obtaining relief from ground under repair dropped a ball in a manner not conforming with Rule 20-2a and in a wrong place. What is the ruling?\r\nA: If the player corrected the errors before playing his next stoke, there was no penalty (Rule 20-6).\r\nIf the player failed to correct the errors before playing his next stroke:\r\na) In match play, he lost the hole for playing from a wrong place - Rule 20-7b.\r\nb) In stroke play he incurred a penalty of three strokes - one stroke for dropping in an improper manner (Rule 20-2a) and two strokes for a breach of Rule 25-1b (see Rule 20-7c). (Revised).\r\nc) He is a tosser.\r\n\r\nSee also Muffins vs Brett on the 17th.',1,'','',200,552,1,1),
(557,'2009-02-15','2009-02-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-19 00:01:06',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,27,220,7,8,'Q: A half-eaten pear lies directly in front of a ball in a bunker and there is no pear tree in the vicinity of the bunker. In the circumstances, is the pear an obstruction rather than a loose impediment, in which case could the player remove it without penalty?\r\nA: No. A pear is a natural object. When detached from a tree it is a loose impediment. The fact that the pear has been half-eaten and there is no pear tree in the vicinity does not alter the status of the pear.\r\n\r\nAlthough somewhat arcane, the above Decision on the Rules of Golf is decidedly more straightforward than the shenanigans engaged in by DJ in the bunker short of the 16th green - but, I am getting ahead of myself. \r\n\r\nThe snow has thawed sufficiently for a resumption of the Winter Competition and 7 Muffins assemble sometime between 07:45 and 08:15am. Fat-Boy chucks \'em up and then kicks \'em around until they settle in a combination that suits him. He trots off with Tate and Turbo leaving Nance, DJ, and Mr. Grumpy to await the tardy Brett.\r\n\r\nConditions aren\'t too bad although Mr. Grumpy, Brett and DJ make early acquaintances with some aquatic fowl and at half-way, only Nance can claim a respectable total. The front 9 is halved but stellar performances on the back 9 by the three-ball lead to a clear 7 point victory. Nance leads the individual with 36 points shading Fat-Boy by a point. Mr. Grumpy and DJ are shite.\r\n\r\nIt\'s also lucrative on the fines front with an aggregate 27 camels, 6 ducks and a couple of OOB\'s to swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\nBut back to the 16th. DJ is in the bunker, but his ball lies in a river bed caused by draining water - which he doesn\'t fancy. Close by, but not the nearest point of relief and not marked as GUR (although it should be) is a drainage trench dug by the greenkeeper. If DJ drops his ball it will plug - which he also doesn\'t fancy. So, he drops it into the trench - twice - and the places it nowhere near the point of impact of the last drop. He then thins it out onto the 13th tee. \r\n\r\nRule 20-2a/3 applies.\r\nQ: A player obtaining relief from ground under repair dropped a ball in a manner not conforming with Rule 20-2a and in a wrong place. What is the ruling?\r\nA: If the player corrected the errors before playing his next stoke, there was no penalty (Rule 20-6).\r\nIf the player failed to correct the errors before playing his next stroke:\r\na) In match play, he lost the hole for playing from a wrong place - Rule 20-7b.\r\nb) In stroke play he incurred a penalty of three strokes - one stroke for dropping in an improper manner (Rule 20-2a) and two strokes for a breach of Rule 25-1b (see Rule 20-7c). (Revised).\r\nc) He is a tosser.\r\n\r\nSee also Muffins vs Brett on the 17th.\r\n\r\nIt is a shame that the match reporter did not refer to rule 25 that confirms that a player can drop the ball in a bunker within one club length of the nearest point of relief. At this point the drop into the newly created ditch in the bunker was within the rules. However it should also be noted that if a hole is created by the greenkeeper it is designated GUR whether marked or not.\r\n\r\nIt shows that the muffins knowledge of the rules of golf is somewhat limited and therefore it is fair to day that people is glass houses should avoid throwing stones!\r\n\r\nTherein lies the case for the defence.',1,'','',200,552,1,1),
(558,'2009-02-15','2009-02-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-19 00:03:59',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,27,220,7,8,'Q: A half-eaten pear lies directly in front of a ball in a bunker and there is no pear tree in the vicinity of the bunker. In the circumstances, is the pear an obstruction rather than a loose impediment, in which case could the player remove it without penalty?\r\nA: No. A pear is a natural object. When detached from a tree it is a loose impediment. The fact that the pear has been half-eaten and there is no pear tree in the vicinity does not alter the status of the pear.\r\n\r\nAlthough somewhat arcane, the above Decision on the Rules of Golf is decidedly more straightforward than the shenanigans engaged in by DJ in the bunker short of the 16th green - but, I am getting ahead of myself. \r\n\r\nThe snow has thawed sufficiently for a resumption of the Winter Competition and 7 Muffins assemble sometime between 07:45 and 08:15am. Fat-Boy chucks \'em up and then kicks \'em around until they settle in a combination that suits him. He trots off with Tate and Turbo leaving Nance, DJ, and Mr. Grumpy to await the tardy Brett.\r\n\r\nConditions aren\'t too bad although Mr. Grumpy, Brett and DJ make early acquaintances with some aquatic fowl and at half-way, only Nance can claim a respectable total. The front 9 is halved but stellar performances on the back 9 by the three-ball lead to a clear 7 point victory. Nance leads the individual with 36 points shading Fat-Boy by a point. Mr. Grumpy and DJ are shite.\r\n\r\nIt\'s also lucrative on the fines front with an aggregate 27 camels, 6 ducks and a couple of OOB\'s to swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\nBut back to the 16th. DJ is in the bunker, but his ball lies in a river bed caused by draining water - which he doesn\'t fancy. Close by, but not the nearest point of relief and not marked as GUR (although it should be) is a drainage trench dug by the greenkeeper. If DJ drops his ball it will plug - which he also doesn\'t fancy. So, he drops it into the trench - twice - and the places it nowhere near the point of impact of the last drop. He then thins it out onto the 13th tee. \r\n\r\nRule 20-2a/3 applies.\r\nQ: A player obtaining relief from ground under repair dropped a ball in a manner not conforming with Rule 20-2a and in a wrong place. What is the ruling?\r\nA: If the player corrected the errors before playing his next stoke, there was no penalty (Rule 20-6).\r\nIf the player failed to correct the errors before playing his next stroke:\r\na) In match play, he lost the hole for playing from a wrong place - Rule 20-7b.\r\nb) In stroke play he incurred a penalty of three strokes - one stroke for dropping in an improper manner (Rule 20-2a) and two strokes for a breach of Rule 25-1b (see Rule 20-7c). (Revised).\r\nc) He is a tosser.\r\n\r\nSee also Muffins vs Brett on the 17th.\r\n\r\nIt is a shame that the match reporter did not refer to rule 25 (abnormal ground conditions) that confirms that a player can drop the ball in a bunker within one club length of the nearest point of relief. At this point the drop into the newly created ditch in the bunker was within the rules. However it should also be noted that if a hole is created by the greenkeeper it is designated GUR whether marked or not.\r\n\r\nIt shows that the muffins knowledge of the rules of golf is somewhat limited and therefore it is fair to day that people is glass houses should avoid throwing stones!\r\n\r\nTherein lies the case for the defence.',1,'','',200,552,1,1),
(559,'2009-02-15','2009-02-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-19 00:12:22',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,27,220,7,8,'Q: A half-eaten pear lies directly in front of a ball in a bunker and there is no pear tree in the vicinity of the bunker. In the circumstances, is the pear an obstruction rather than a loose impediment, in which case could the player remove it without penalty?\r\nA: No. A pear is a natural object. When detached from a tree it is a loose impediment. The fact that the pear has been half-eaten and there is no pear tree in the vicinity does not alter the status of the pear.\r\n\r\nAlthough somewhat arcane, the above Decision on the Rules of Golf is decidedly more straightforward than the shenanigans engaged in by DJ in the bunker short of the 16th green - but, I am getting ahead of myself. \r\n\r\nThe snow has thawed sufficiently for a resumption of the Winter Competition and 7 Muffins assemble sometime between 07:45 and 08:15am. Fat-Boy chucks \'em up and then kicks \'em around until they settle in a combination that suits him. He trots off with Tate and Turbo leaving Nance, DJ, and Mr. Grumpy to await the tardy Brett.\r\n\r\nConditions aren\'t too bad although Mr. Grumpy, Brett and DJ make early acquaintances with some aquatic fowl and at half-way, only Nance can claim a respectable total. The front 9 is halved but stellar performances on the back 9 by the three-ball lead to a clear 7 point victory. Nance leads the individual with 36 points shading Fat-Boy by a point. Mr. Grumpy and DJ are shite.\r\n\r\nIt\'s also lucrative on the fines front with an aggregate 27 camels, 6 ducks and a couple of OOB\'s to swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\nBut back to the 16th. DJ is in the bunker, but his ball lies in a river bed caused by draining water - which he doesn\'t fancy. Close by, but not the nearest point of relief and not marked as GUR (although it should be) is a drainage trench dug by the greenkeeper. If DJ drops his ball it will plug - which he also doesn\'t fancy. So, he drops it into the trench - twice - and the places it nowhere near the point of impact of the last drop. He then thins it out onto the 13th tee. \r\n\r\nRule 20-2a/3 applies.\r\nQ: A player obtaining relief from ground under repair dropped a ball in a manner not conforming with Rule 20-2a and in a wrong place. What is the ruling?\r\nA: If the player corrected the errors before playing his next stoke, there was no penalty (Rule 20-6).\r\nIf the player failed to correct the errors before playing his next stroke:\r\na) In match play, he lost the hole for playing from a wrong place - Rule 20-7b.\r\nb) In stroke play he incurred a penalty of three strokes - one stroke for dropping in an improper manner (Rule 20-2a) and two strokes for a breach of Rule 25-1b (see Rule 20-7c). (Revised).\r\nc) He is a tosser.\r\n\r\nSee also Muffins vs Brett on the 17th.\r\n\r\nIt is a shame that the match reporter did not refer to rule 25 (abnormal ground conditions) that confirms that a player can drop the ball in a bunker within one club length of the nearest point of relief. At this point the drop into the newly created ditch in the bunker was within the rules. However it should also be noted that if a hole is created by the greenkeeper it is designated GUR whether marked or not.\r\n\r\nIt shows that the muffins knowledge of the rules of golf is somewhat limited and therefore it is fair to say that people is glass houses should avoid throwing stones!\r\n\r\nTherein lies the case for the defence.',1,'','',200,552,1,1),
(560,'2009-02-22','2009-02-22 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 21:38:23',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,27,216,7,8,'Spring is on the way and the Saturday instructions indicate a full house for the next round of the Winter Competition. In the event 8 become 7 as Rover\'s fabled reliability becomes a liability and leaves Brett standed on the M42 hard shoulder waiting for the Churchill breakdown service (Ohhhh yes!).\r\n\r\n(This may of course be a tissue of lies and he\'s actually off to Jade Goody\'s wedding, but history tells us it will be at least 6 months before we know the truth - unless we can spot him in \"OK\" magazine).\r\n\r\nThe lead three are Turbo, Cutie-Cutie and Tate who signals his intent by dobbing a drive into the stream in front of the 1st tee for the first duck of the day. The 4-ball of Nance, Mr. Grumpy, DJ and Fat-Boy follow on, start off like rockets but scrobble about on holes 7 through 9. Nonetheless a nett 40 points is enough for a 5 point lead at Lawrence\'s variable pricing refreshment gazebo.\r\n\r\nThe greens have been hollow-tined which makes putting an amusing affair with good putts turning right angles and crap putts going in.\r\n\r\nThe back 9 follows a similar pattern, the lead 3 struggling to make an impression and the 4-ball doing enough to run out clear victors by 13 points. Individually it\'s a 3-way tie with Nance, Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy all on 34 points. Extra holes were eschewed in favour of pork pie and lager.\r\n\r\nFollowing last weeks dropping rules controversy, Mr. Grumpy needs and gets a free drop from a pile of logs and DJ decides to make Muffin\'s history with an unplayable lie so far into the roots of a tree a hobbit was recruited to extract it.\r\n\r\nFinally, Tate forewarns the assembled company that he\'s relying on an on-time flight from Dublin at 06:30am next Sunday morning to deliver him to OGC for 08:15am. It remains to be seen whether Aer Lingus are any more reliable than the Rover Group and whether the fine is as punitive.',1,'mr g de ducking.jpg','Mr G de ducking',200,0,0,1),
(561,'2009-02-22','2009-02-22 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-22 15:51:38',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,27,216,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,560,1,1),
(562,'2009-02-22','2009-02-22 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-22 15:51:38',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,27,216,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,560,1,1),
(563,'2009-03-01','2009-03-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 21:37:57',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,27,224,7,8,'With Cutie-Cutie routinely absent, everyone was expected a 7-ball, however DJ drafted in a late guest to make up the numbers.  Neil was quickly brought up to speed with the rules and instructed to ramp up significant camels and to pick them up on 18, thereby allowing DJ to stump up on his behalf.  As it turns out, these instructions were not clear enough, and Mr. Grumpy was forced into    a duffed chip approach to 18 to pick up a grand total of 15 camels for his team.  We thought we\'d seen the last of Mr. Grumpys stock shot, however the lure of the camels proved too much of a temptation.\r\n\r\nThe match itself saw Fat-Boy wanting to play with Turbo, Brett and Nance, and he chose to go off 2nd behind Tate, Mr. Grumpy, DJ and NJ.  Scoring was surprisingly OK for the 2nd team - Brett enquired if Nance was going to go round the whole course in level par without finding the fairway - Nance refuted such suggestions as early as the 7th.  At the sandwiches, they had a clear lead.\r\n\r\nThe back 9 was more of the same, despite significant improved performances for DJ and Tate, and the 4some of Nance, Brett, Fat-Boy and Turbo took the match and both 9s with quite a bit to spare.  Tate, in particular was anticipating a decent inward 9 until getting pontoon with 3 7\'s from the 16th.  The 16th also say Fat-Boy shank his drive with his practice swing, but despite a ruling from the OGC match secretary, he was allowed to play another (Decisions on Rules of Golf 18-2a/19).\r\n\r\nNance picks up the full 10 points yet again, though we suspect its far too late for a genuine challenge for the title.  Fat-Boys 31 points sees him lose ground and it\'ll be nick and tuck going into the last 4 weeks of the season.\r\n\r\nTurbo and Mr. Grumpy pick up the camels, with other sundries from DJ and Tate.\r\n\r\nNote:- The observant reader of this organ will have noticed that the team result was subtly different with only 3 scores to count.  Unlucky.',2,'wool or cotton.jpg','Wool or cotton?',200,0,0,1),
(564,'2009-03-01','2009-03-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-01 14:21:06',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,31,31,31,1,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,563,1,1),
(565,'2009-03-01','2009-03-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-01 14:21:06',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,37,31,68,2,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,563,1,1),
(566,'2009-03-01','2009-03-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-01 14:21:06',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,37,27,130,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,563,1,1),
(567,'2009-03-01','2009-03-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-01 14:21:06',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,37,27,193,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,563,1,1),
(568,'2009-03-01','2009-03-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-01 14:21:06',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,27,224,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,563,1,1),
(569,'2009-03-01','2009-03-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-01 14:21:06',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,27,224,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,563,1,1),
(570,'2009-03-01','2009-03-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-01 16:59:48',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,27,224,7,8,'With Cutie-Cutie routinely absent, everyone was expected a 7-ball, however DJ drafted in a late guest to make up the numbers.  Neil was quickly brought up to speed with the rules and instructed to ramp up significant camels and to pick them up on 18, thereby allowing DJ to stump up on his behalf.  As it turns out, these instructions were not clear enough, and Mr. Grumpy was forced into    a duffed chip approach to 18 to pick up a grand total of 15 camels for his team.  We though we\'d seen the last of Mr. Grumpys stock shot, however the lure of the camels proved too much of a temptation.\r\n\r\nThe match itself saw Fat-Boy wanting to play with Turbo, Brett and Nance, and he chose to go off 2nd behind Tate, Mr. Grumpy, DJ and NJ.  Scoring was surprisingly OK for the 2nd team - Brett enquired if Nance was going to go round the whole course in level par without finding the fairway - Nance refuted such suggestions as early as the 7th.  At the sandwiches, they had a clear lead.\r\n\r\nThe back 9 was more of the same, despite significant improved performances for DJ and Tate.  Tate, in particular was anticipating a decent inward 9 until getting pontoon with 3 7\'s from the 16th.  The 16th also say Fat-Boy shank his drive with his practice swing, but despite a ruling from the OGC match secretary, he was allowed to play another (Decisions on Rules of Golf 18-2a/19).\r\n\r\nNance picks up the full 10 points yet again, though we suspect its far too late for a genuine challenge for the title.  Fat-Boys 31 points sees him lose ground and it\'ll be nick and tuck going into the last 4 weeks of the season.\r\n\r\nTurbo and Mr. Grumpy pick up the camels, with other sundries from DJ and Tate.',1,'','',200,563,1,1),
(571,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 21:37:28',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,25,222,7,8,'The 8th March dawns bright and sunny and from the centrally heated comfort of his bedroom Mr. Grumpy decides it\'s suitable weather for just a couple of layers. This is a serious mistake of which more later.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is off for a few days with some white powder so there\'s just 7 Muffins divisible into Nance, Turbo and Cutie-Cutie followed by Brett, Tate, DJ and Mr. G. \r\n\r\nTate brings the trees into play early doors with a couple of exciting sideways ricochets up the 1st fairway, but even prior to this Brett has uttered a cadence of around ten \"bollocks\" in despair at hs opening drive. It might be a long day.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are in Spain so there are reserve caterers. These are of such antiquity that bread and dripping, powdered egg, acorn tea and ration cards are anticipated. At this point the halfway scoring tot-up reveals a 1 point lead for the 4-ball. Turbo has an excellent 21 points and although being supported by Cutie-Cutie, is being badly let down by Nance who\'s in cow\'s arse and banjo mode.\r\n\r\nDJ is also having a bit of a mare, especially with his putting, but enlivens proceedings with a trick shot on 11. The ball lies in a hollow tine slit and a firm strike succeeds only in moving it one yard - but backwards. Around the 11th, the weather also changes. Clear blue skies turn grey and threatening and an icy shower starts. Aside from a lack of layers, Mr. Grumpy has no waterproofs and no brollie. A hook deep into the brambles down the 14th deepens the gloom. The ball is found, Mr. Grumpy whacks it out but on exiting the jungle, trips headlong over said bramble and executes a double somersault with pike into the swampy GUR. His playing partners head for the hills.\r\n\r\nDespite earlier incompetance, DJ hits the shot of the day on the 17th - a mid-iron from the short fairway bunker to within 10  feet of the flag. This is no doubt helped by all the bunker practice he\'s been having - but then he 3-stabs it anyway.\r\n\r\nThe safety of the clubhouse reveals an outstanding win for Turbo who\'s held his form for 38 points, one point ahead of Brett and thus a 10 point reward. But his joy is tempered by the fact he\'s played with two duffers who\'ve cost him £4. Nance has been crap throughout and Cutie-Cutie\'s had a game of two halves. To add insult to injury, Turbo\'s also docked a couple of shots - marvellous.\r\n\r\nAn excellent collection of camels, OOB\'s and ducks swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\n',1,'brett de ducking.jpg','Brett deducking',200,0,0,1),
(572,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-08 15:15:28',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,38,25,227,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,571,1,1),
(573,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-08 15:15:28',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,25,222,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,571,1,1),
(574,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-08 15:15:28',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,25,222,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,571,1,1),
(575,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-08 16:20:02',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,25,222,7,8,'The 8th March dawns bright and sunny and from the centrally heated comfort of his bedroom Mr. Grumpy decides it\'s suitable weather for just a couple of layers. This is a serious mistake of which more later.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is off for a few days with some white powder so there\'s just 7 Muffins divisible into Nance, Turbo and Cutie-Cutie followed by Brett, Tate, DJ and Mr. G. \r\n\r\nTate brings the trees into play early doors with a couple of exciting sideways ricochets up the 1st fairway, but even prior to this Brett has uttered a cadence of around ten \"bollocks\" in despair at hs opening drive. It might be a long day.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are in Spain so we have reserve caterers. These are of such antiquity that bread and dripping, powdered egg, acorn tea and ration cards are anticipated. The halfway scoring tot-up reveals a 1 point lead for the 4-ball. Turbo has an excellent 21 points but is being badly let down by Nance who\'s in cow\'s arse and banjo mode.\r\n\r\nDJ is also having a bit of a mare, especially with his putting, but enlivens proceedings with a trick shot on 11. The ball lies in a hollow tine slit and a firm strike succeeds only in moving it one yard backwards. Around the 11th, the weather also changes. Clear blue skies turn grey and threatening and an icy shower starts. Aside from a lack of layers, Mr. Grumpy has no waterproofs and no brollie. A hook deep into the brambles down the 14th deepens the gloom. The ball is found, Mr. Grumpy whacks it out but on exiting the jungle, trips headlong over said bramble and executes a double somersault with pike into the swampy GUR. His playing partners head for the hills.\r\n\r\nDespite earlier incompetance, DJ hits the shot of the day on the 17th, a mid-iron from the short fairway bunker to within 10  feet of the flag. This is no doubt helped by all the bunker practice he\'s had - \r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,571,1,1),
(576,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-08 16:26:42',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,25,222,7,8,'The 8th March dawns bright and sunny and from the centrally heated comfort of his bedroom Mr. Grumpy decides it\'s suitable weather for just a couple of layers. This is a serious mistake of which more later.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is off for a few days with some white powder so there\'s just 7 Muffins divisible into Nance, Turbo and Cutie-Cutie followed by Brett, Tate, DJ and Mr. G. \r\n\r\nTate brings the trees into play early doors with a couple of exciting sideways ricochets up the 1st fairway, but even prior to this Brett has uttered a cadence of around ten \"bollocks\" in despair at hs opening drive. It might be a long day.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are in Spain so there are reserve caterers. These are of such antiquity that bread and dripping, powdered egg, acorn tea and ration cards are anticipated. The halfway scoring tot-up reveals a 1 point lead for the 4-ball. Turbo has an excellent 21 points but is being badly let down by Nance who\'s in cow\'s arse and banjo mode.\r\n\r\nDJ is also having a bit of a mare, especially with his putting, but enlivens proceedings with a trick shot on 11. The ball lies in a hollow tine slit and a firm strike succeeds only in moving it one yard backwards. Around the 11th, the weather also changes. Clear blue skies turn grey and threatening and an icy shower starts. Aside from a lack of layers, Mr. Grumpy has no waterproofs and no brollie. A hook deep into the brambles down the 14th deepens the gloom. The ball is found, Mr. Grumpy whacks it out but on exiting the jungle, trips headlong over said bramble and executes a double somersault with pike into the swampy GUR. His playing partners head for the hills.\r\n\r\nDespite earlier incompetance, DJ hits the shot of the day on the 17th, a mid-iron from the short fairway bunker to within 10  feet of the flag. This is no doubt helped by all the bunker practice he\'s had - but then he 3-stabs it anyway.\r\n\r\nThe safety of the clubhouse reveals an outstanding win for Turbo who\'s held his form for 39 points, two points ahead of Brett and a 10 point reward. But his joy is tempered by the fact he\'s played with two duffers who\'ve cost him £4. \r\n\r\nAn excellent collection of camels, OOB\'s and ducks swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,571,1,1),
(577,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-08 16:36:35',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,25,222,7,8,'The 8th March dawns bright and sunny and from the centrally heated comfort of his bedroom Mr. Grumpy decides it\'s suitable weather for just a couple of layers. This is a serious mistake of which more later.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is off for a few days with some white powder so there\'s just 7 Muffins divisible into Nance, Turbo and Cutie-Cutie followed by Brett, Tate, DJ and Mr. G. \r\n\r\nTate brings the trees into play early doors with a couple of exciting sideways ricochets up the 1st fairway, but even prior to this Brett has uttered a cadence of around ten \"bollocks\" in despair at hs opening drive. It might be a long day.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are in Spain so there are reserve caterers. These are of such antiquity that bread and dripping, powdered egg, acorn tea and ration cards are anticipated. The halfway scoring tot-up reveals a 1 point lead for the 4-ball. Turbo has an excellent 21 points and although being supported by Cutie-Cutie, is being badly let down by Nance who\'s in cow\'s arse and banjo mode.\r\n\r\nDJ is also having a bit of a mare, especially with his putting, but enlivens proceedings with a trick shot on 11. The ball lies in a hollow tine slit and a firm strike succeeds only in moving it one yard backwards. Around the 11th, the weather also changes. Clear blue skies turn grey and threatening and an icy shower starts. Aside from a lack of layers, Mr. Grumpy has no waterproofs and no brollie. A hook deep into the brambles down the 14th deepens the gloom. The ball is found, Mr. Grumpy whacks it out but on exiting the jungle, trips headlong over said bramble and executes a double somersault with pike into the swampy GUR. His playing partners head for the hills.\r\n\r\nDespite earlier incompetance, DJ hits the shot of the day on the 17th, a mid-iron from the short fairway bunker to within 10  feet of the flag. This is no doubt helped by all the bunker practice he\'s had - but then he 3-stabs it anyway.\r\n\r\nThe safety of the clubhouse reveals an outstanding win for Turbo who\'s held his form for 39 points, two points ahead of Brett and thus a 10 point reward. But his joy is tempered by the fact he\'s played with two duffers who\'ve cost him £4. Cutie-Cutie\'s had a game of two halves and to add insult to injury, he\'s also docked a couple of shots - marvellous.\r\n\r\nAn excellent collection of camels, OOB\'s and ducks swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,571,1,1),
(578,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-09 14:28:37',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,25,222,7,8,'The 8th March dawns bright and sunny and from the centrally heated comfort of his bedroom Mr. Grumpy decides it\'s suitable weather for just a couple of layers. This is a serious mistake of which more later.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is off for a few days with some white powder so there\'s just 7 Muffins divisible into Nance, Turbo and Cutie-Cutie followed by Brett, Tate, DJ and Mr. G. \r\n\r\nTate brings the trees into play early doors with a couple of exciting sideways ricochets up the 1st fairway, but even prior to this Brett has uttered a cadence of around ten \"bollocks\" in despair at hs opening drive. It might be a long day.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are in Spain so there are reserve caterers. These are of such antiquity that bread and dripping, powdered egg, acorn tea and ration cards are anticipated. At this point the halfway scoring tot-up reveals a 1 point lead for the 4-ball. Turbo has an excellent 21 points and although being supported by Cutie-Cutie, is being badly let down by Nance who\'s in cow\'s arse and banjo mode.\r\n\r\nDJ is also having a bit of a mare, especially with his putting, but enlivens proceedings with a trick shot on 11. The ball lies in a hollow tine slit and a firm strike succeeds only in moving it one yard - but backwards. Around the 11th, the weather also changes. Clear blue skies turn grey and threatening and an icy shower starts. Aside from a lack of layers, Mr. Grumpy has no waterproofs and no brollie. A hook deep into the brambles down the 14th deepens the gloom. The ball is found, Mr. Grumpy whacks it out but on exiting the jungle, trips headlong over said bramble and executes a double somersault with pike into the swampy GUR. His playing partners head for the hills.\r\n\r\nDespite earlier incompetance, DJ hits the shot of the day on the 17th - a mid-iron from the short fairway bunker to within 10  feet of the flag. This is no doubt helped by all the bunker practice he\'s been having - but then he 3-stabs it anyway.\r\n\r\nThe safety of the clubhouse reveals an outstanding win for Turbo who\'s held his form for 39 points, two points ahead of Brett and thus a 10 point reward. But his joy is tempered by the fact he\'s played with two duffers who\'ve cost him £4. Nance has been crap throughout and Cutie-Cutie\'s had a game of two halves. To add insult to injury, Turbo\'s also docked a couple of shots - marvellous.\r\n\r\nAn excellent collection of camels, OOB\'s and ducks swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,571,1,1),
(579,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-09 14:35:03',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,25,222,7,8,'The 8th March dawns bright and sunny and from the centrally heated comfort of his bedroom Mr. Grumpy decides it\'s suitable weather for just a couple of layers. This is a serious mistake of which more later.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is off for a few days with some white powder so there\'s just 7 Muffins divisible into Nance, Turbo and Cutie-Cutie followed by Brett, Tate, DJ and Mr. G. \r\n\r\nTate brings the trees into play early doors with a couple of exciting sideways ricochets up the 1st fairway, but even prior to this Brett has uttered a cadence of around ten \"bollocks\" in despair at hs opening drive. It might be a long day.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are in Spain so there are reserve caterers. These are of such antiquity that bread and dripping, powdered egg, acorn tea and ration cards are anticipated. At this point the halfway scoring tot-up reveals a 1 point lead for the 4-ball. Turbo has an excellent 21 points and although being supported by Cutie-Cutie, is being badly let down by Nance who\'s in cow\'s arse and banjo mode.\r\n\r\nDJ is also having a bit of a mare, especially with his putting, but enlivens proceedings with a trick shot on 11. The ball lies in a hollow tine slit and a firm strike succeeds only in moving it one yard - but backwards. Around the 11th, the weather also changes. Clear blue skies turn grey and threatening and an icy shower starts. Aside from a lack of layers, Mr. Grumpy has no waterproofs and no brollie. A hook deep into the brambles down the 14th deepens the gloom. The ball is found, Mr. Grumpy whacks it out but on exiting the jungle, trips headlong over said bramble and executes a double somersault with pike into the swampy GUR. His playing partners head for the hills.\r\n\r\nDespite earlier incompetance, DJ hits the shot of the day on the 17th - a mid-iron from the short fairway bunker to within 10  feet of the flag. This is no doubt helped by all the bunker practice he\'s been having - but then he 3-stabs it anyway.\r\n\r\nThe safety of the clubhouse reveals an outstanding win for Turbo who\'s held his form for 38 points, two points ahead of Brett and thus a 10 point reward. But his joy is tempered by the fact he\'s played with two duffers who\'ve cost him £4. Nance has been crap throughout and Cutie-Cutie\'s had a game of two halves. To add insult to injury, Turbo\'s also docked a couple of shots - marvellous.\r\n\r\nAn excellent collection of camels, OOB\'s and ducks swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,571,1,1),
(580,'2009-03-15','2009-03-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 21:36:57',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,36,24,221,7,8,'The last time OGC saw the sun shining was sometime back in the 1980s, however it shone brightly on 7 Muffins today, a mere 3 weeks away from the summer season.   Fat-Boy was back from his weekend on the piste, and chose to play with the hero of the previous week, Turbo, plus Mr. Grumpy. \r\n\r\nStarting off the 6th meant that an early break for sandwiches was forecast, and at the early break it was clear that the scoring was looking good all round.\r\n\r\nTate excepted, and an air-shot on the 9th was looking like it was going to be his best effort of the day.\r\n\r\nAt the sandwiches, Fat-Boy instructed his team to drive of the 10th before the food was delivered.  This threw his team-mates into a kerfuffle, and forced Mr. Grumpy to record his first boob of the day, and Turbo to forget to take his driver and putter with him.  Fat-Boy felt that he was the root cause of this kerfuffle, so took it on himself to return the full 420 yards form the green to recover Turbos clubs.\r\n\r\nOn 13, Tate finds a golf swing from somewhere and puts his tee-shot 10 foot from the pin.  Target golf follows with Nance, DJ and Brett all getting closer.  Nance is close enough for a gimme, which is just as well, since none of the other birdie attempts are converted.   Tate quickly returns to form, and not only misses his birdie effort, but misses the one back also.\r\n\r\nThese putts proved costly, with Fat-Boy, Mr. Grumpy and Turbo taking the back 9 by a couple.\r\n\r\nTates golf game was disintegrating rapidly.  Having found the water with his 2nd on 4, he decides to attempt a de-duck from an impossible spot below the sleepers.  His argument being that he had already chalked up £4 in extras and couldn\'t afford any more.  A fair point.  And a successful de-duck, with probably his best shot of the day.  Still blobbed the hole, mind you.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy attempted similar heroics on 5, presumably for similar reasons.  however his attempt was unsuccessful, and by leaving it in the water, he picked up a couple of ducks to add to his pair of boobs.\r\n\r\nBrett was un-Brett-like and steady all round.  An uneventful 36 points was the result and enough for the full 10 points.  Nance and Mr. Grumpy a single shot behind.  Turbo and DJ made substantial contributions to the camel fund.',1,'quality golf.jpg','Golf of the highest order!',200,0,0,1),
(581,'2009-03-15','2009-03-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 14:12:02',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,28,92,3,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,580,1,1),
(582,'2009-03-15','2009-03-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 14:12:02',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,36,24,221,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,580,1,1),
(583,'2009-03-15','2009-03-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 14:12:02',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,36,24,221,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,580,1,1),
(584,'2009-03-15','2009-03-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 14:44:44',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,36,24,221,7,8,'The last time OGC saw the sun shining was sometime back in the 1980s, however it shone brightly on 7 Muffins today, a mere 3 weeks away from the summer season.   Fat-Boy was back from his weekend on the piste, and chose to play with the hero of the previous week, Turbo, plus Mr. Grumpy. \r\n\r\nStarting off the 6th meant that an early break for sandwiches was forecast, and at the early break it was clear that the scoring was looking good all round.\r\n\r\nTate excepted, and an air-shot on the 9th was looking like it was going to be his best effort of the day.\r\n\r\nAt the sandwiches, Fat-Boy instructed his team to drive of the 10th before the food was delivered.  This threw his team-mates into a kerfuffle, and force Mr. Grumpy to record his first boob of the day, and Turbo to forget to take his driver and putter with him.  Fat-Boy felt that he was the root cause of this kerfuffle, so took it on himself tot return the full 420 yards form the green to recover Turbos clubs.\r\n\r\nOn 13, Tate finds a golf swing from somewhere and puts his tee-shot 10 foot from the pin.  Target golf follows with Nance, DJ and Brett all getting closer.  Nance is close enough for a gimme, which is just as well, since none of the other birdie attempts are converted.   Tate quickly returns to form, and not only misses his birdie effort, but misses the one back also.\r\n\r\nThese putts proved costly, with Fat-Boy, Mr. Grumpy and Turbo taking the back 9 by a couple.\r\n\r\nTates golf game was disintegrating rapidly.  Having found the water with his 2nd on 4, he decides to attempt a de-duck from an impossible spot below the sleepers.  His argument being that he had already chalked up £4 in extras and couldn\'t afford any more.  A fair point.  And a successful de-duck, with probably his best shot of the day.  Still blobbed the hole, mind you.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy attempted similar heroics on 5, presumably for similar reasons.  however his attempt was unsuccessful, and by leaving it in the water, he picked up a couple of ducks to add to his pair of boobs.\r\n\r\nBrett was un-Brett-like and steady all round.  An uneventful 36 points was the result and enough for the full 10 points.  Nance and Mr. Grumpy a single shot behind.  Turbo and DJ made substantial contributions to the camel fund.',1,'','',200,580,1,1),
(585,'2009-03-15','2009-03-15 08:00:00',8,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 20:44:13',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,39,39,1,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(586,'2009-03-15','2009-03-15 08:00:00',8,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 20:44:13',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,39,39,1,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,585,1,1),
(587,'2009-03-15','2009-03-15 08:00:00',8,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 20:44:13',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,39,39,1,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,585,1,1),
(588,'2009-03-15','2009-03-15 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-15 14:45:51',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,36,24,221,7,8,'The last time OGC saw the sun shining was sometime back in the 1980s, however it shone brightly on 7 Muffins today, a mere 3 weeks away from the summer season.   Fat-Boy was back from his weekend on the piste, and chose to play with the hero of the previous week, Turbo, plus Mr. Grumpy. \r\n\r\nStarting off the 6th meant that an early break for sandwiches was forecast, and at the early break it was clear that the scoring was looking good all round.\r\n\r\nTate excepted, and an air-shot on the 9th was looking like it was going to be his best effort of the day.\r\n\r\nAt the sandwiches, Fat-Boy instructed his team to drive of the 10th before the food was delivered.  This threw his team-mates into a kerfuffle, and forced Mr. Grumpy to record his first boob of the day, and Turbo to forget to take his driver and putter with him.  Fat-Boy felt that he was the root cause of this kerfuffle, so took it on himself to return the full 420 yards form the green to recover Turbos clubs.\r\n\r\nOn 13, Tate finds a golf swing from somewhere and puts his tee-shot 10 foot from the pin.  Target golf follows with Nance, DJ and Brett all getting closer.  Nance is close enough for a gimme, which is just as well, since none of the other birdie attempts are converted.   Tate quickly returns to form, and not only misses his birdie effort, but misses the one back also.\r\n\r\nThese putts proved costly, with Fat-Boy, Mr. Grumpy and Turbo taking the back 9 by a couple.\r\n\r\nTates golf game was disintegrating rapidly.  Having found the water with his 2nd on 4, he decides to attempt a de-duck from an impossible spot below the sleepers.  His argument being that he had already chalked up £4 in extras and couldn\'t afford any more.  A fair point.  And a successful de-duck, with probably his best shot of the day.  Still blobbed the hole, mind you.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy attempted similar heroics on 5, presumably for similar reasons.  however his attempt was unsuccessful, and by leaving it in the water, he picked up a couple of ducks to add to his pair of boobs.\r\n\r\nBrett was un-Brett-like and steady all round.  An uneventful 36 points was the result and enough for the full 10 points.  Nance and Mr. Grumpy a single shot behind.  Turbo and DJ made substantial contributions to the camel fund.',1,'','',200,580,1,1),
(589,'2009-03-08','2009-03-08 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-09 14:35:48',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,25,222,7,8,'The 8th March dawns bright and sunny and from the centrally heated comfort of his bedroom Mr. Grumpy decides it\'s suitable weather for just a couple of layers. This is a serious mistake of which more later.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy is off for a few days with some white powder so there\'s just 7 Muffins divisible into Nance, Turbo and Cutie-Cutie followed by Brett, Tate, DJ and Mr. G. \r\n\r\nTate brings the trees into play early doors with a couple of exciting sideways ricochets up the 1st fairway, but even prior to this Brett has uttered a cadence of around ten \"bollocks\" in despair at hs opening drive. It might be a long day.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are in Spain so there are reserve caterers. These are of such antiquity that bread and dripping, powdered egg, acorn tea and ration cards are anticipated. At this point the halfway scoring tot-up reveals a 1 point lead for the 4-ball. Turbo has an excellent 21 points and although being supported by Cutie-Cutie, is being badly let down by Nance who\'s in cow\'s arse and banjo mode.\r\n\r\nDJ is also having a bit of a mare, especially with his putting, but enlivens proceedings with a trick shot on 11. The ball lies in a hollow tine slit and a firm strike succeeds only in moving it one yard - but backwards. Around the 11th, the weather also changes. Clear blue skies turn grey and threatening and an icy shower starts. Aside from a lack of layers, Mr. Grumpy has no waterproofs and no brollie. A hook deep into the brambles down the 14th deepens the gloom. The ball is found, Mr. Grumpy whacks it out but on exiting the jungle, trips headlong over said bramble and executes a double somersault with pike into the swampy GUR. His playing partners head for the hills.\r\n\r\nDespite earlier incompetance, DJ hits the shot of the day on the 17th - a mid-iron from the short fairway bunker to within 10  feet of the flag. This is no doubt helped by all the bunker practice he\'s been having - but then he 3-stabs it anyway.\r\n\r\nThe safety of the clubhouse reveals an outstanding win for Turbo who\'s held his form for 38 points, one point ahead of Brett and thus a 10 point reward. But his joy is tempered by the fact he\'s played with two duffers who\'ve cost him £4. Nance has been crap throughout and Cutie-Cutie\'s had a game of two halves. To add insult to injury, Turbo\'s also docked a couple of shots - marvellous.\r\n\r\nAn excellent collection of camels, OOB\'s and ducks swell the curry fund.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,571,1,1),
(590,'2009-03-01','2009-03-01 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-01 17:03:49',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,27,224,7,8,'With Cutie-Cutie routinely absent, everyone was expected a 7-ball, however DJ drafted in a late guest to make up the numbers.  Neil was quickly brought up to speed with the rules and instructed to ramp up significant camels and to pick them up on 18, thereby allowing DJ to stump up on his behalf.  As it turns out, these instructions were not clear enough, and Mr. Grumpy was forced into    a duffed chip approach to 18 to pick up a grand total of 15 camels for his team.  We thought we\'d seen the last of Mr. Grumpys stock shot, however the lure of the camels proved too much of a temptation.\r\n\r\nThe match itself saw Fat-Boy wanting to play with Turbo, Brett and Nance, and he chose to go off 2nd behind Tate, Mr. Grumpy, DJ and NJ.  Scoring was surprisingly OK for the 2nd team - Brett enquired if Nance was going to go round the whole course in level par without finding the fairway - Nance refuted such suggestions as early as the 7th.  At the sandwiches, they had a clear lead.\r\n\r\nThe back 9 was more of the same, despite significant improved performances for DJ and Tate, and the 4some of Nance, Brett, Fat-Boy and Turbo took the match and both 9s with quite a bit to spare.  Tate, in particular was anticipating a decent inward 9 until getting pontoon with 3 7\'s from the 16th.  The 16th also say Fat-Boy shank his drive with his practice swing, but despite a ruling from the OGC match secretary, he was allowed to play another (Decisions on Rules of Golf 18-2a/19).\r\n\r\nNance picks up the full 10 points yet again, though we suspect its far too late for a genuine challenge for the title.  Fat-Boys 31 points sees him lose ground and it\'ll be nick and tuck going into the last 4 weeks of the season.\r\n\r\nTurbo and Mr. Grumpy pick up the camels, with other sundries from DJ and Tate.\r\n\r\nNote:- The observant reader of this organ will have noticed that the team result was subtly different with only 3 scores to count.  Unlucky.',1,'','',200,563,1,1),
(591,'2009-02-22','2009-02-22 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-02-22 21:35:55',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,27,216,7,8,'Spring is on the way and the Saturday instructions indicate a full house for the next round of the Winter Competition. In the event 8 become 7 as Rover\'s fabled reliability becomes a liability and leaves Brett standed on the M42 hard shoulder waiting for the Churchill breakdown service (Ohhhh yes!).\r\n\r\n(This may of course be a tissue of lies and he\'s actually off to Jade Goody\'s wedding, but history tells us it will be at least 6 months before we know the truth - unless we can spot him in \"OK\" magazine).\r\n\r\nThe lead three are Turbo, Cutie-Cutie and Tate who signals his intent by dobbing a drive into the stream in front of the 1st tee for the first duck of the day. The 4-ball of Nance, Mr. Grumpy, DJ and Fat-Boy follow on, start off like rockets but scrobble about on holes 7 through 9. Nonetheless a nett 40 points is enough for a 5 point lead at Lawrence\'s variable pricing refreshment gazebo.\r\n\r\nThe greens have been hollow-tined which makes putting an amusing affair with good putts turning right angles and crap putts going in.\r\n\r\nThe back 9 follows a similar pattern, the lead 3 struggling to make an impression and the 4-ball doing enough to run out clear victors by 13 points. Individually it\'s a 3-way tie with Nance, Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy all on 34 points. Extra holes were eschewed in favour of pork pie and lager.\r\n\r\nFollowing last weeks dropping rules controversy, Mr. Grumpy needs and gets a free drop from a pile of logs and DJ decides to make Muffin\'s history with an unplayable lie so far into the roots of a tree a hobbit was recruited to extract it.\r\n\r\nFinally, Tate forewarns the assembled company that he\'s relying on an on-time flight from Dublin at 06:30am next Sunday morning to deliver him to OGC for 08:15am. It remains to be seen whether Aer Lingus are any more reliable than the Rover Group and whether the fine is as punitive.',1,'','',200,560,1,1),
(592,'2009-03-22','2009-03-22 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-23 09:27:40',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,276,9,8,'It\'s Mr. Grumpy\'s birthday and in celebration of that there\'s a record turn out of Muffins, nine in total including Bones who make his first appearance in a year. Bright, sunny, but with a nip in the air, the tossing of nine balls causes Fat-Boy some concern and a lot of fancy footwork is required to re-distribute the balls into a combination that suits him. \r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy, Brett and Tate head for the 3rd tee followed by Cutie-Cutie, Turbo and Bones whilst Fat-Boy, Nance and DJ head for the 1st.\r\n\r\nBrett, who\'s headed the league table throughout the winter, starts to exhibit the same sort of nose-bleed suffered by Manchester Utd and his petulance mirrors that of Wayne Rooney. On 11, Brett gets a drop alongside the new 12th tee whilst Mr. Grumpy relieves himself in the hedge. Brett thins his wedge through the back and commences a tirade of self-abuse that starts as Mr. Grumpy whips out his todger and is still going long after Mr. G has shaken it and put it away. Later in the round Brett turns his ire on the green staff who seemingly can\'t cut a new hole without \"crowning\" it - a fair point as Brett\'s 3-ball fail to hole a putt all day.\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie\'s also having a bad morning and slaps his tee shot on 15 into the right hand side bank which is still covered in leaves. A few minutes desultory swishing about fails to reveal it at which point he strikes the ground in a bit of a paddy. By some sort of miracle he\'s chosen the spot where his ball lies and out it pops!\r\n\r\nThe three-3 ball format produces some difficulties on the results front. One 3-ball win the front 9, a second win the back 9 and a third win the match. It takes accountant Tate to work it all out and more money changes hand than you could shake a stick at. \r\n\r\nIndividually Mr. Grumpy and Bones share top spot and Brett\'s demise leaves everything to play for on the final Sunday. Watch this space!!\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(593,'2009-03-22','2009-03-22 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-22 14:16:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,276,9,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,592,1,1),
(594,'2009-03-22','2009-03-22 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-22 14:16:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,276,9,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,592,1,1),
(595,'2009-03-22','2009-03-22 08:00:00',7,2,67,67,'','2009-03-23 09:26:07',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,276,9,8,'It\'s Mr. Grumpy\'s birthday and in celebration of that there\'s a record turn out of Muffins, nine in total including Bones who make his first appearance in a year. Bright, sunny, but with a nip in the air, the tossing of nine balls causes Fat-Boy some concern and a lot of fancy footwork is required to re-distribute the balls into a combination that suits him. \r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy, Brett and Tate head for the 3rd tee followed by Cutie-Cutie, Turbo and Bones. Fat-Boy whilst Nance and DJ head for the 1st.\r\n\r\nBrett, who\'s headed the league table throughout the winter, starts to exhibit the same sort of nose-bleed suffered by Manchester Utd and his petulance mirrors that of Wayne Rooney. On 11, Brett gets a drop alongside the new 12th tee whilst Mr. Grumpy relieves himself in the hedge. Brett thins his wedge through the back and commences a tirade of self-abuse that starts as Mr. Grumpy whips out his todger and is still going long after Mr. G has shaken it and put it away. Later in the round Brett turns his ire on the green staff who seemingly can\'t cut a new hole without \"crowning\" it - a fair point as Brett\'s 3-ball fail to hole a putt all day.\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie\'s also having a bad morning and slaps his tee shot on 15 into the right hand side bank which is still covered in leaves. A few minutes desultory swishing about fails to reveal it at which point he strikes the ground in a bit of a paddy. By some sort of miracle he\'s chosen the spot where his ball lies and out it pops!\r\n\r\nThe three-3 ball format produces some difficulties on the results front. One 3-ball win the front 9, a second win the back 9 and a third win the match. It takes accountant Tate to work it all out and more money changes hand than you could shake a stick at. \r\n\r\nIndividually Mr. Grumpy and Bones share top spot and Brett\'s demise leaves everything to play for on the final Sunday. Watch this space!!\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,592,1,1),
(596,'2009-03-27','2009-03-27 08:00:00',9,177,147,147,'','2009-03-29 20:45:50',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,41,31,282,8,8,'End of winter? Start of summer? Whatever, it\'s the Muffins away day at picturesque, scenic Sandwell Park in the heart of West Bromwich adjacent to the Baggies ground, the M5 and the Kingsmill bread lorry depot. From such unpromising surroundings a little gem of a course emerges and whilst not being able to hear yourself think and forgetting for a moment the electricity pylons, it\'s a most enjoyable, tough track. Cheap as well. \r\n\r\nSeven regular Muffins sans Brett plus Bones make up the party and Mr. Grumpy, Turbo, Cutie-Cutie and DJ head out into the unknown, followed by Nance, Fat-Boy, Tate and Bones.\r\n\r\nSandwell\'s best defence is it\'s greens which are fast, subtle and inviting of the three if not four stab. There\'s also a bit of an icy breeze. Nonetheless DJ and Tate make light of the conditions for a morning 41 points apeice with Mr. Grumpy 2 back on 39. A resounding win for the lead 4-ball leads into soup and sandwiches. No-one can be arsed to change the teams at lunchtime so the same groups are retained for the afternoon.\r\n\r\nThe long walk and the continuing chill make for a tiring pm and the scores start to suffer. Bones and Cutie-Cutie share top spot with 34 points, Tate collapses, Fat-Boy has a bit of a mare and thus DJ\'s 33 point afternoon is sufficient to take the overall £40 prize money on offer by a couple from the surprisingly consistent Mr. G. DJ has now infringed his amateur status so turns pro.\r\n\r\nFines (various) swell the curry fund and its off to the George and Shebab\'s for a convivial end to proceedings.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(597,'2009-03-27','2009-03-27 08:00:00',9,177,147,147,'','2009-03-27 13:47:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,41,31,282,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,596,1,1),
(598,'2009-03-27','2009-03-27 14:00:00',9,177,147,147,'','2009-03-29 20:46:54',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,21,231,8,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space.\r\n\r\n(No it won\'t - it\'s been combined with the morning round).',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(599,'2009-03-27','2009-03-27 14:00:00',9,177,147,147,'','2009-03-28 09:50:56',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,21,231,8,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,598,1,1),
(600,'2009-03-29','2009-03-29 08:00:00',7,2,89,89,'','2009-04-12 19:39:26',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,33,28,187,6,8,'It\'s the ultimate Sunday of Winter 08/09 and with only a gnat\'s chuff between Fat-Boy and Brett, there\'s everything to play for - well actually there\'s Jack Shit to play for as Nance has contrived to leave the trophy at home. Cutie-Cutie is with the kids, Tate has a dodgy knee and all bar Brett are still stiff from Sandwell Park.\r\n\r\nAdded to which Fat-Boy is still pissed which means that Paddy Power starts laying off money on the Fat-Boy as he\'s generally at his most dangerous with a hangover. Brett\'s performance up the 1st (actually the 18th) emphasises the point. \r\n\r\nFat-Boy, accompanied by Turbo and Mr. Grumpy - whose Friday form has completely disappeared, somehow contrive to take the front 9 by 5 points and Fat-Boy\'s nnnnnineteen is looking ominous. DJ has also lost the plot.\r\n\r\nBrett rallies on the back nine as Fat-Boy starts to tire and it\'s a 3-way tie for top spot between Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo who is a model of consistency coming home. Brett is one point further back. The lead 3-ball lose the back 9 but hang on for the match.\r\n\r\nIn the final analysis Fat-Boy takes the winter trophy by the narrowest of margins 0.01. Brett, who has led throughout the winter has to settle for second place and eff-all. It\'s a cruel game.\r\n\r\n',2,'nance on his knees.jpg','With Nance on his knees - spot Fat-boy!',200,0,0,1),
(601,'2009-03-29','2009-03-29 08:00:00',7,2,89,89,'','2009-03-29 13:19:39',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,33,28,187,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,600,1,1),
(602,'2009-03-27','2009-03-27 08:00:00',9,177,147,147,'','2009-03-27 13:47:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,41,31,282,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,596,1,1),
(603,'2009-03-27','2009-03-27 08:00:00',9,177,147,147,'','2009-03-29 20:41:02',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,41,31,282,8,8,'End of winter? Start of summer? Whatever, it\'s the Muffins away day at picturesque, scenic Sandwell Park in the heart of West Bromwich adjacent to the Baggies ground, the M5 and the Kingsmill bread lorry depot. From such unpromising surroundings a little gem of a course emerges and whilst not being able to hear yourself think and forgetting for a moment the electricity pylons, it\'s a most enjoyable, tough track. Cheap as well. \r\n\r\nSeven regular Muffins sans Brett plus Bones make up the party and Mr. Grumpy, Turbo, Cutie-Cutie and DJ head out into the unknown, followed by Nance, Fat-Boy, Tate and Bones.\r\n\r\nSandwell\'s best defence is it\'s greens which are fast, subtle and inviting of the three if not four stab. There\'s also a bit of an icy breeze. Nonetheless DJ and Tate make light of the conditions for a morning 41 points apeice with Mr. Grumpy 2 back on 39. A resounding win for the lead 4-ball leads into soup and sandwiches. No-one can be arsed to change the teams at lunchtime so the same groups are retained for the afternoon.\r\n\r\nThe long walk and the continuing chill make for a tiring pm and the scores start to suffer. Tate collapses, Fat-Boy has a bit of a mare and thus DJ\'s 33 point afternoon is sufficient to take the £40 prize money on offer by a couple from the surprisingly consistent Mr. G. DJ has now infringed his amateur status so turns pro.\r\n\r\nFines (various) swell the curry fund and its off to the Geaoge and Shebab\'s for a convivial end to proceedings.',1,'','',200,596,1,1),
(604,'2009-03-27','2009-03-27 14:00:00',9,177,147,147,'','2009-03-28 09:50:56',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,34,21,231,8,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,598,1,1),
(605,'2009-03-29','2009-03-29 08:00:00',7,2,89,89,'','2009-03-29 13:19:39',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,33,28,187,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,600,1,1),
(606,'2009-03-29','2009-03-29 08:00:00',7,2,89,89,'','2009-03-29 20:54:43',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,33,28,187,6,8,'It\'s the ultimate Sunday of Winter 08/09 and with only a gnat\'s chuff between Fat-Boy and Brett, there\'s everything to play for - well actually there\'s Jack Shit to play for as Nance has contrived to leave the trophy at home. Cutie-Cutie is with the kids, Tate has a dodgy knee and all bar Brett are still stiff from Sandwell Park.\r\n\r\nAdded to which Fat-Boy is still pissed which means that Paddy Power starts laying off money on the Fat-Boy as he\'s generally at his most dangerous with a hangover. Brett\'s performance up the 1st (actually the 18th) emphasises the point. \r\n\r\nFat-Boy, accompanied by Turbo and Mr. Grumpy - whose Friday form has completely disappeared, somehow contrive to take the front 9 by 5 points and Fat-Boy\'s nnnnnineteen is looking ominous.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,600,1,1),
(607,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-04 18:40:14',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(608,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-19 21:57:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,30,213,6,8,'It\'s a lovely sunny morning for the first week of the Muffins Summer season and with Tate seeking a prawn sandwich up at Old Trafford and Turbo up at Cruden Bay, it\'s just the six for 8:00am. For once Fat-Boy throws \'em up and doesn\'t resort to any sort of chicanery or prestidigitation, so Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy lead off followed by Cutie-Cutie, Brett and the Toss Meister.\r\n\r\nIt\'s straight into a low sun up the first and DJ richochets off a tree with his second shot resulting in a lost ball which he later discovers only as he potters down the second fairway. And as the teams pass on the 6th there\'s discouraging news of Brett who\'s already chalked up a \"double-duck\" and a \"double-camel\". Fat-Boy and Cutie-Cutie have resolved to stay away from his personal space.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are involved in a minor domestic in the gazebo, but as the refreshments are dispensed it\'s Cutie-Cutie who\'s in the box seat with 22 points against which Mr. Grumpy\'s 19 looks distinctly average. In fact the Cute one is having a stormer and adds another 21 points coming home for a resounding victory and tops the table on Week 1. His contribution is also sufficient to earn his compadres the full £4 by 87 points to 81.\r\n\r\nThe new PAYE fines system is established and a pot of £11.50 (plus OOBs to come) is passed to Mr. Grumpy who somehow finds himself non-elected treasurer. Ex-hockey chums will realise the folly of this as in years past the \"match fees\" were always spent immediately on beer, resulting in a large claim equal to the GDP of a small country being made by the Hockey Treasurer at season end.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy also reflects on how he scored a useful 37 stableford points which translates to a mere 4 Muffins points, then loses £4 owing to the serial incompetence of his partners AND gets cut a shot.\r\n\r\n\"It\'s a funny old game Saint\".\r\n\"It certainly is Greavsie\".\r\n',1,'trophy presentation.jpg','Fat-Boy receives the winter trophy. Jealousy and envy look on.',200,0,0,1),
(609,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-05 12:58:42',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,30,213,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,608,1,1),
(610,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-05 12:58:42',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,30,213,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,608,1,1),
(611,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-05 19:17:11',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,30,213,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'winter trophy.jpg','Fat-Boy receives the winter throphy. Jealousy and envy look on.',200,608,1,1),
(612,'2009-03-29','2009-03-29 08:00:00',7,2,89,89,'','2009-03-29 21:03:52',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,33,28,187,6,8,'It\'s the ultimate Sunday of Winter 08/09 and with only a gnat\'s chuff between Fat-Boy and Brett, there\'s everything to play for - well actually there\'s Jack Shit to play for as Nance has contrived to leave the trophy at home. Cutie-Cutie is with the kids, Tate has a dodgy knee and all bar Brett are still stiff from Sandwell Park.\r\n\r\nAdded to which Fat-Boy is still pissed which means that Paddy Power starts laying off money on the Fat-Boy as he\'s generally at his most dangerous with a hangover. Brett\'s performance up the 1st (actually the 18th) emphasises the point. \r\n\r\nFat-Boy, accompanied by Turbo and Mr. Grumpy - whose Friday form has completely disappeared, somehow contrive to take the front 9 by 5 points and Fat-Boy\'s nnnnnineteen is looking ominous. DJ has also lost the plot.\r\n\r\nBrett rallies on the back nine as Fat-Boy starts to tire and it\'s a 3-way tie for top spot between Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo who is a model of consistency coming home. Brett is one point further back. The lead 3-ball lose the back 9 but hang on for the match.\r\n\r\nIn the final analysis Fat-Boy takes the winter trophy by the narrowest of margins 0.01. Brett, who has led throughout the winter has to settle for second place and eff-all. It\'s a cruel game.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,600,1,1),
(613,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-05 19:18:05',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,30,213,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'winter trophy.jpg','Fat-Boy receives the winter trophy. Jealousy and envy look on.',200,608,1,1),
(614,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-05 20:20:00',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,30,213,6,8,'It\'s a lovely sunny morning for the first week of the Muffins Summer season and with Tate seeking a prawn sandwich up at Old Trafford and Turbo up at Cruden Bay, it\'s just the six for 8:00am. For once Fat-Boy throws \'em up and doesn\'t resort to any sort of chicanery or prestidigitation, so Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy lead off followed by Cutie-Cutie, Brett and the Toss Meister.\r\n\r\nIt\'s straight into a low sun up the first and DJ richochets off a tree with his second shot resulting in a lost ball which he later discovers only as he potters down the second fairway. And as the teams pass on the 6th there\'s discouraging news of Brett who\'s already chalked up a \"double-duck\" and a \"double-camel\". Fat-Boy and Cutie-Cutie have resolved to stay away from his personal space.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are involved in a minor domestic in the gazebo, but as the refreshments are dispensed it\'s Cutie-Cutie who\'s in the box seat with 22 points against whaich Mr. Grumpy\'s 19 looks distinctly average. In fact the Cute one is having a stormer and adds another 21 points coming home for a resounding victory and tops the table on Week 1. His contribution is also sufficient to earn his compadres the full £4 by 87 points to 81.\r\n\r\nThe new PAYE fines system is established and a pot of £10.25 (plus OOBs to come) is passed to Mr. Grumpy who somehow finds himself non-elected treasurer. Ex-hockey chums will realise the folly of this as in years past the \"match fees\" were always spent immediately on beer, resulting in a large claim equal to the GDP of a small country being made by the Hockey Treasurer at season end.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy also reflects on how he scored a useful 37 stableford points which translates to a mere 4 Muffins points, loses £4 owing to the serial incompetence of his partners AND gets cut a shot.\r\n\r\n\"It\'s a funny old game Saint\".\r\n\"It certainly is Greavsie\".\r\n',1,'winter trophy.jpg','Fat-Boy receives the winter trophy. Jealousy and envy look on.',200,608,1,1),
(615,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-05 20:22:17',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,30,213,6,8,'It\'s a lovely sunny morning for the first week of the Muffins Summer season and with Tate seeking a prawn sandwich up at Old Trafford and Turbo up at Cruden Bay, it\'s just the six for 8:00am. For once Fat-Boy throws \'em up and doesn\'t resort to any sort of chicanery or prestidigitation, so Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy lead off followed by Cutie-Cutie, Brett and the Toss Meister.\r\n\r\nIt\'s straight into a low sun up the first and DJ richochets off a tree with his second shot resulting in a lost ball which he later discovers only as he potters down the second fairway. And as the teams pass on the 6th there\'s discouraging news of Brett who\'s already chalked up a \"double-duck\" and a \"double-camel\". Fat-Boy and Cutie-Cutie have resolved to stay away from his personal space.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are involved in a minor domestic in the gazebo, but as the refreshments are dispensed it\'s Cutie-Cutie who\'s in the box seat with 22 points against which Mr. Grumpy\'s 19 looks distinctly average. In fact the Cute one is having a stormer and adds another 21 points coming home for a resounding victory and tops the table on Week 1. His contribution is also sufficient to earn his compadres the full £4 by 87 points to 81.\r\n\r\nThe new PAYE fines system is established and a pot of £10.25 (plus OOBs to come) is passed to Mr. Grumpy who somehow finds himself non-elected treasurer. Ex-hockey chums will realise the folly of this as in years past the \"match fees\" were always spent immediately on beer, resulting in a large claim equal to the GDP of a small country being made by the Hockey Treasurer at season end.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy also reflects on how he scored a useful 37 stableford points which translates to a mere 4 Muffins points, loses £4 owing to the serial incompetence of his partners AND gets cut a shot.\r\n\r\n\"It\'s a funny old game Saint\".\r\n\"It certainly is Greavsie\".\r\n',1,'winter trophy.jpg','Fat-Boy receives the winter trophy. Jealousy and envy look on.',200,608,1,1),
(616,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-05 20:24:03',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,30,213,6,8,'It\'s a lovely sunny morning for the first week of the Muffins Summer season and with Tate seeking a prawn sandwich up at Old Trafford and Turbo up at Cruden Bay, it\'s just the six for 8:00am. For once Fat-Boy throws \'em up and doesn\'t resort to any sort of chicanery or prestidigitation, so Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy lead off followed by Cutie-Cutie, Brett and the Toss Meister.\r\n\r\nIt\'s straight into a low sun up the first and DJ richochets off a tree with his second shot resulting in a lost ball which he later discovers only as he potters down the second fairway. And as the teams pass on the 6th there\'s discouraging news of Brett who\'s already chalked up a \"double-duck\" and a \"double-camel\". Fat-Boy and Cutie-Cutie have resolved to stay away from his personal space.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are involved in a minor domestic in the gazebo, but as the refreshments are dispensed it\'s Cutie-Cutie who\'s in the box seat with 22 points against which Mr. Grumpy\'s 19 looks distinctly average. In fact the Cute one is having a stormer and adds another 21 points coming home for a resounding victory and tops the table on Week 1. His contribution is also sufficient to earn his compadres the full £4 by 87 points to 81.\r\n\r\nThe new PAYE fines system is established and a pot of £10.25 (plus OOBs to come) is passed to Mr. Grumpy who somehow finds himself non-elected treasurer. Ex-hockey chums will realise the folly of this as in years past the \"match fees\" were always spent immediately on beer, resulting in a large claim equal to the GDP of a small country being made by the Hockey Treasurer at season end.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy also reflects on how he scored a useful 37 stableford points which translates to a mere 4 Muffins points, then loses £4 owing to the serial incompetence of his partners AND gets cut a shot.\r\n\r\n\"It\'s a funny old game Saint\".\r\n\"It certainly is Greavsie\".\r\n',1,'winter trophy.jpg','Fat-Boy receives the winter trophy. Jealousy and envy look on.',200,608,1,1),
(617,'2009-04-12','2009-04-12 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-19 21:58:00',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,38,31,102,3,8,'Absentees a-plenty for the Easter Sunday match meant that it was down to a 3-ball of Brett, Fat-Boy and Nance.  A ceremonial tossing was required and although it looked much more legitimate than usual, the results of the tossing were ignored.\r\n\r\nAfter a couple of unremarkable holes, Fat-Boy is annoyed to see his favourite past-Captain pull rank and jump in on the 3rd tee whilst he was putting out on 2. With his pulse still racing he then proceeds to send a shanked drive off 3 into the copse behind the 5th green.  A brand new Srixon never to be seen again.  His provisional takes a convoluted route to the ladies locker room, to be returned to its rightful owner by Tony Ridding.  What Tony was doing in the ladies locker room is anyone\'s guess.  Blob.\r\n\r\nDespite the entertainment on 3, decent scores are recorded by the 3 amigos by the turn, with Nance shading it by a couple.\r\n\r\nBrett and Fat-Boy start the close the gap as early as the 10th, and by the 15th, it was nip and tuck.  However Nance steps on the gas on 16 and a birdie-birdie-birdie finish pisses on Brett and Fat-Boys chips so that clear victory by 5 points results.\r\n\r\nA mediocre day for extras, with Brett adding a duck and 6 camels to Fat-Boys Boob on the 3rd.  The £5 contribution from the absentees was, therefore, much appreciated.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'help.jpg','Mr Grumpy in trouble!',200,0,0,1),
(618,'2009-04-12','2009-04-12 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-12 13:47:36',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,38,31,102,3,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,617,1,1),
(619,'2009-04-12','2009-04-12 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-12 13:47:36',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,38,31,102,3,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,617,1,1),
(620,'2009-03-29','2009-03-29 08:00:00',7,2,89,89,'','2009-04-05 19:20:20',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,33,28,187,6,8,'It\'s the ultimate Sunday of Winter 08/09 and with only a gnat\'s chuff between Fat-Boy and Brett, there\'s everything to play for - well actually there\'s Jack Shit to play for as Nance has contrived to leave the trophy at home. Cutie-Cutie is with the kids, Tate has a dodgy knee and all bar Brett are still stiff from Sandwell Park.\r\n\r\nAdded to which Fat-Boy is still pissed which means that Paddy Power starts laying off money on the Fat-Boy as he\'s generally at his most dangerous with a hangover. Brett\'s performance up the 1st (actually the 18th) emphasises the point. \r\n\r\nFat-Boy, accompanied by Turbo and Mr. Grumpy - whose Friday form has completely disappeared, somehow contrive to take the front 9 by 5 points and Fat-Boy\'s nnnnnineteen is looking ominous. DJ has also lost the plot.\r\n\r\nBrett rallies on the back nine as Fat-Boy starts to tire and it\'s a 3-way tie for top spot between Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo who is a model of consistency coming home. Brett is one point further back. The lead 3-ball lose the back 9 but hang on for the match.\r\n\r\nIn the final analysis Fat-Boy takes the winter trophy by the narrowest of margins 0.01. Brett, who has led throughout the winter has to settle for second place and eff-all. It\'s a cruel game.\r\n\r\n',2,'nance on his knees.jpg','With Nance on his knees - spot Fat-boy!',200,600,1,1),
(621,'2009-03-29','2009-03-29 08:00:00',7,2,89,89,'','2009-04-12 19:39:26',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,33,28,187,6,8,'It\'s the ultimate Sunday of Winter 08/09 and with only a gnat\'s chuff between Fat-Boy and Brett, there\'s everything to play for - well actually there\'s Jack Shit to play for as Nance has contrived to leave the trophy at home. Cutie-Cutie is with the kids, Tate has a dodgy knee and all bar Brett are still stiff from Sandwell Park.\r\n\r\nAdded to which Fat-Boy is still pissed which means that Paddy Power starts laying off money on the Fat-Boy as he\'s generally at his most dangerous with a hangover. Brett\'s performance up the 1st (actually the 18th) emphasises the point. \r\n\r\nFat-Boy, accompanied by Turbo and Mr. Grumpy - whose Friday form has completely disappeared, somehow contrive to take the front 9 by 5 points and Fat-Boy\'s nnnnnineteen is looking ominous. DJ has also lost the plot.\r\n\r\nBrett rallies on the back nine as Fat-Boy starts to tire and it\'s a 3-way tie for top spot between Fat-Boy, Nance and Turbo who is a model of consistency coming home. Brett is one point further back. The lead 3-ball lose the back 9 but hang on for the match.\r\n\r\nIn the final analysis Fat-Boy takes the winter trophy by the narrowest of margins 0.01. Brett, who has led throughout the winter has to settle for second place and eff-all. It\'s a cruel game.\r\n\r\n',2,'nance on his knees.jpg','With Nance on his knees - spot Fat-boy!',200,600,1,1),
(622,'2009-04-19','2009-04-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-20 09:24:19',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,254,8,8,'A potential full house for Week 3 nearly becomes 7 as Fat-Boy cuts it very fine for the 08:15am start time. Cutie-Cutie moves the clock in the locker room entrance forward by 5 minutes, but Fat-Boy is clearly still pissed and to his credit makes it from his pit to the 1st tee within 15 minutes. An unusually strightforward toss pits the \"Muffin Originals\" against the New Kids on the Block and off they go into a chilly morning.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy\'s night on the electric soup has affected his internal compass. A big slice on the 4th is accompanied by a shout of \"fore left\" which has people 100 yards from the actual landing zone ducking for cover, whilst those in mortal danger remain blissfully ignorant. Mind you, Fat-Boy himself has nearly been taken out by a Cutie-Cutie exocet on the 2nd.\r\n\r\nA further talking point occurs on the 12th where Brett plays out of the fairway bunker. He strikes the ball and then the pose, scanning the horizon for the dropping ball - only for DJ to point out that it\'s still in the bunker. There are several further swipes, some whilst both player and ball are on the move - shots that DJ finally has to pay for. There\'s a unsubstantiated rumour that Brett may yet swap his golf club membership for that of the Caravan Club.\r\n\r\nIn the final analysis it\'s a game of two halves with the nines shared, but Fat-Boy, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy collect the £2 for the match. Tate marks his maiden appearance of the summer with the individual ten points shading out Mr. Grumpy. \r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie\'s remarkable week 1 performance proves to have been a false dawn and with Tour interferring, it may be a month before he\'s seen again.\r\n\r\nSome healthy fines contributions sees Mr. Grumpy cart away £21.75 for safekeeping.',1,'im coming.jpg','While you are down there Nance........',200,0,0,1),
(623,'2009-04-19','2009-04-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-19 15:36:08',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,253,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,622,1,1),
(624,'2009-04-19','2009-04-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-19 15:36:08',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,254,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,622,1,1),
(625,'2009-04-19','2009-04-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-19 15:36:08',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,254,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,622,1,1),
(626,'2009-04-19','2009-04-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-19 20:47:51',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,254,8,8,'A potential full house for Week 3 nearly becomes 7 as Fat-Boy cuts it very fine for the 08:30am start time. Cutie-Cutie moves the clock in the locker room entrance forward by 5 minutes, but Fat-Boy is clearly still pissed and to his credit makes it from his pit to the 1st tee within 15 minutes. An unusually strightforward toss pits the \"Muffin Originals\" against the New Kids on the Block and off they go into a chilly morning.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy\'s night on the electric soup has affected his internal compass. A big slice on the 4th is accompanied by a shout of \"fore left\" which has people 100 yards from the actual landing zone ducking for cover, whilst those in mortal danger remain blissfully ignorant. Mind you, Fat-Boy himself has nearly been taken out by a Cutie-Cutie exocet on the 2nd.\r\n\r\nA further talking point occurs on the 12th where Brett plays out of the fairway bunker. He strikes the ball and then the pose, scanning the horizon for the dropping ball - only for DJ to point out that it\'s still in the bunker. There are several further swipes, some whilst both player and ball are on the move - shots that DJ finally has to pay for. There\'s a unsubstantiated rumour that Brett may yet swap his golf club membership for that of the Caravan Club.\r\n\r\nIn the final analysis it\'s a game of two halves with the nines shared, but Fat-Boy, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy collect the £2 for the match. Tate marks his maiden appearance of the summer with the individual ten points shading out Mr. Grumpy. \r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie\'s remarkable week 1 performance proves to have been a false dawn and with Tour interferring, it may be a month before he\'s seen again.\r\n\r\nSome healthy fines contributions sees Mr. Grumpy cart away £21.75.',1,'','',200,622,1,1),
(627,'2009-04-05','2009-04-05 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-06 11:18:07',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,30,213,6,8,'It\'s a lovely sunny morning for the first week of the Muffins Summer season and with Tate seeking a prawn sandwich up at Old Trafford and Turbo up at Cruden Bay, it\'s just the six for 8:00am. For once Fat-Boy throws \'em up and doesn\'t resort to any sort of chicanery or prestidigitation, so Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy lead off followed by Cutie-Cutie, Brett and the Toss Meister.\r\n\r\nIt\'s straight into a low sun up the first and DJ richochets off a tree with his second shot resulting in a lost ball which he later discovers only as he potters down the second fairway. And as the teams pass on the 6th there\'s discouraging news of Brett who\'s already chalked up a \"double-duck\" and a \"double-camel\". Fat-Boy and Cutie-Cutie have resolved to stay away from his personal space.\r\n\r\nLawrence and Helen are involved in a minor domestic in the gazebo, but as the refreshments are dispensed it\'s Cutie-Cutie who\'s in the box seat with 22 points against which Mr. Grumpy\'s 19 looks distinctly average. In fact the Cute one is having a stormer and adds another 21 points coming home for a resounding victory and tops the table on Week 1. His contribution is also sufficient to earn his compadres the full £4 by 87 points to 81.\r\n\r\nThe new PAYE fines system is established and a pot of £11.50 (plus OOBs to come) is passed to Mr. Grumpy who somehow finds himself non-elected treasurer. Ex-hockey chums will realise the folly of this as in years past the \"match fees\" were always spent immediately on beer, resulting in a large claim equal to the GDP of a small country being made by the Hockey Treasurer at season end.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy also reflects on how he scored a useful 37 stableford points which translates to a mere 4 Muffins points, then loses £4 owing to the serial incompetence of his partners AND gets cut a shot.\r\n\r\n\"It\'s a funny old game Saint\".\r\n\"It certainly is Greavsie\".\r\n',1,'winter trophy.jpg','Fat-Boy receives the winter trophy. Jealousy and envy look on.',200,608,1,1),
(628,'2009-04-12','2009-04-12 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-12 14:13:39',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,38,31,102,3,8,'Absentees a-plenty for the Easter Sunday match meant that it was down to a 3-ball of Brett, Fat-Boy and Nance.  A ceremonial tossing was required and although it looked much more legitimate than usual, the results of the tossing were ignored.\r\n\r\nAfter a couple of unremarkable holes, Fat-Boy is annoyed to see his favourite past-Captain pull rank and jump in on the 3rd tee whilst he was putting out on 2. With his pulse still racing he then proceeds to send a shanked drive off 3 into the copse behind the 5th green.  A brand new Srixon never to be seen again.  His provisional takes a convoluted route to the ladies locker room, to be returned to its rightful owner by Tony Ridding.  What Tony was doing in the ladies locker room is anyone\'s guess.  Blob.\r\n\r\nDespite the entertainment on 3, decent scores are recorded by the 3 amigos by the turn, with Nance shading it by a couple.\r\n\r\nBrett and Fat-Boy start the close the gap as early as the 10th, and by the 15th, it was nip and tuck.  However Nance steps on the gas on 16 and a birdie-birdie-birdie finish pisses on Brett and Fat-Boys chips so that clear victory by 5 points results.\r\n\r\nA mediocre day for extras, with Brett adding a duck and 6 camels to Fat-Boys Boob on the 3rd.  The £5 contribution from the absentees was, therefore, much appreciated.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,617,1,1),
(629,'2009-04-19','2009-04-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-19 21:56:39',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,254,8,8,'A potential full house for Week 3 nearly becomes 7 as Fat-Boy cuts it very fine for the 08:30am start time. Cutie-Cutie moves the clock in the locker room entrance forward by 5 minutes, but Fat-Boy is clearly still pissed and to his credit makes it from his pit to the 1st tee within 15 minutes. An unusually strightforward toss pits the \"Muffin Originals\" against the New Kids on the Block and off they go into a chilly morning.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy\'s night on the electric soup has affected his internal compass. A big slice on the 4th is accompanied by a shout of \"fore left\" which has people 100 yards from the actual landing zone ducking for cover, whilst those in mortal danger remain blissfully ignorant. Mind you, Fat-Boy himself has nearly been taken out by a Cutie-Cutie exocet on the 2nd.\r\n\r\nA further talking point occurs on the 12th where Brett plays out of the fairway bunker. He strikes the ball and then the pose, scanning the horizon for the dropping ball - only for DJ to point out that it\'s still in the bunker. There are several further swipes, some whilst both player and ball are on the move - shots that DJ finally has to pay for. There\'s a unsubstantiated rumour that Brett may yet swap his golf club membership for that of the Caravan Club.\r\n\r\nIn the final analysis it\'s a game of two halves with the nines shared, but Fat-Boy, Nance, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy collect the £2 for the match. Tate marks his maiden appearance of the summer with the individual ten points shading out Mr. Grumpy. \r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie\'s remarkable week 1 performance proves to have been a false dawn and with Tour interferring, it may be a month before he\'s seen again.\r\n\r\nSome healthy fines contributions sees Mr. Grumpy cart away £21.75.',1,'im coming.jpg','While you are down there Nance........',200,622,1,1),
(630,'2009-04-26','2009-04-26 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-26 16:45:45',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,25,205,6,8,'The last Sunday before Tour sees only 6 Muffins present. Cutie-Cutie\'s with the kids and Fat-Boy\'s found some new friends, so DJ shows how straightforward the team selection can be and sends Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Brett off the 3rd to be followed by Turbo, Nance and himself.\r\n\r\nTate hits an impressive birdie down his first hole, but it\'s a false dawn and a lost ball down the 4th, a hook into the jungle on the 5th and a visit to the self-same jungle off the 6th tee shakes his confidence. Actually the tee shot on the 6th cannons into the spinney on the left hand side of the tee only to plop out onto the Ladies\'s tee several moments later.\r\n\r\nHowever, at the early sandwiches it\'s a clear lead for Tate\'s team, but the really hot news is that Nance has pulled a fetlock in the mere act of marking his ball and may have to be put down before the tour. The screens are called for.\r\n\r\nOn the back nine Mr. Grumpy holes a bunker shot for the first time in his life and Tate, having shanked his tee shot on the 15th and dobbed the recovery into Dingly Dell, then duffs his third. He addresses himself as a \"decelerating f**king nancy-boy\" to general amusement all-round.\r\n\r\nThe back nine is much as the front and Tate, Mr. Grumpy and an unusually sanguine and contented Brett collect the £4 by a decent margin. \'Twas also notable that at one point Brett was down to a single layer of clothing. Who says that climate change is a myth.\r\n\r\nDJ with an outstanding 42 points collects the individual honours, but being in a crap team loses £4 as well as a handful of shots for the Tour. Mr. Grumpy is also docked shots- a schoolboy error. Turbo and Mr. Grumpy are the camel kings and a modest £8 is added to the fines kitty.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(631,'2009-04-26','2009-04-26 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-26 14:17:45',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,25,205,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,630,1,1),
(632,'2009-04-26','2009-04-26 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-04-26 14:17:45',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,25,205,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,630,1,1),
(633,'2009-04-27','2009-04-27 08:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-04-27 20:30:06',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,37,57,42,292,6,8,'Match report will be published soon, please watch this space ...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(634,'2009-04-27','2009-04-27 08:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-04-27 20:30:06',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,37,57,42,292,6,8,'Match report will be published soon, please watch this space ...',1,'','',200,633,1,1),
(635,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 08:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-09-01 16:21:08',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,33,26,182,6,8,'A recurrent feature when on the odd occasion Nance organises a tour, is his supposed influence over the weather. This is an urban myth. Therefore, the first morning of the tour proper (excluding the illicit practice by Nance, DJ and Tate on the day before) opens in pissing rain which appears to be set in for the day. In the event, it rains in patches and tries to clear later, but the omens for the unbroken sunshine enjoyed by the Mr. Grumpy-organised tours are not good.\r\n\r\nThe journey up to Dundee the previous day has been uneventful, but Big-Dave has filled Mr. Grumpy\'s car with enough bottled water, fruit drinks, Cadbury\'s mini-rolls, muesli bars and flapjacks to keep a small army fed leaving Fat-Boy to be compressed into the smallest space he\'s seen since the womb. Whilst doing so Tate, DJ and Nance are sampling the delights of the Old Course where, perhaps uniquely, Nance tries to play it with two contact lenses in the same eye. A dob into the Swilken Burn off the 18th tee is one of many chuckle-worthy moments that has Old Tom Morris turning in his grave.\r\n\r\nHowever, at Downfield on \"Day One Proper\" Big-Dave makes a welcome maiden appearance and smashes one straight up the middle of 1st hole in the company of Tate and the Fat-Boy. Let the fun begin! \r\n\r\nIn the event the \"local\'s view\" that it will clear up later is proved correct and the now monocular Nance takes the individual honours as well as the team performance in the company of Mr. Grumpy and DJ. On the 18th DJ has a bit of bunker trouble racking up at least 3 in the greenside trap taking an early camel lead for the tour that he never once looks like relinquishing.\r\n\r\nA soup and sandwich lunch is blissfully free of either tomatoes or coronation chicken.\r\n\r\n\r\n ',1,'picture 024.jpg','Mr. Grumpy gets dressed up to celebrate Wolves promotion!',200,0,0,1),
(637,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 14:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-09-01 16:23:23',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,189,6,14,'Suitably refreshed, the balls are re-tossed and this time it\'s Tate, DJ (both in a buggy) and Big-Dave vs the Muffin Originals. It\'s cold but not too wet and now the lead 3-ball know where they\'re going, scoring improves to the extent that Tate returns with 37 points, 5 better than anyone else for a useful Day One lead in the quest for the Tour Trophy. \r\n\r\nThere\'s controversy on the 18th where Nance, having hit what he considers the perfect faded drive around the trees is stunned to find his ball stuck in the remains of a 12th century stone wall in the middle of the woods. This is no surprise to Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy who are dis-inclined to give him the free drop he demands as his right. The R&A Rule book and the local rules on the scorecard are consulted but without a definitive answer. Expect to see the excavation of the wall on next year\'s Time Team.\r\n\r\nDuring the round important news concerning the ballot for the Old Course is received (by carrier pigeon obviously as no-one would consider carrying a mobile phone onto the course). It\'s mixed news - only one tee-time secured so Tate, DJ and Nance, having already sampled its delights, step down in favour of a round on the new St Andrews Castle Course. Tate, DJ and Big-Dave clean up the £4 which goes towards a dodgy Chinese and several beers in The Fisherman\'s.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(638,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 12:00:00',8,178,149,149,'','2009-09-01 16:24:55',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,27,21,72,3,12,'As your correspondent was not present at the Castle Course it\'s impossible to produce first-hand evidence of the goings-on. Suffice it to say that the 3 who did play it, Nance, DJ and Tate, on returning to the haven of the Jigger Inn, exhibited a somewhat haunted look. It would appear to present a number of challenges they were not equal to, difficulties that were not diminished by the unkind weather. If they are to be believed, any stableford points whatsoever were a bonus and it\'s not a venue that will feature highly on any subsequent priority list.\r\n\r\n\"Nuff said\".',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(639,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 13:00:00',8,99,130,130,'','2009-05-08 08:33:45',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,86,3,13,'With only one tee time in the ballot it\'s only Mr. Grumpy, Big-Dave and Fat-Boy who report for duty in front of the R&A. An early arrival dictated by protocal not only heightens the sense of occasion and anticipation, but also the nerves as the consequences of a crap tee shot in front of the assembled masses sinks in.\r\n\r\nAfter a touching ceremony involving the exchange of £130 our heroes introduce themselves to the Starter. He delivers useful information about keeping the ball left as there is a stiff wind coming from left to right. Fat-Boy takes all this on board and immediately slices two balls out of bounds onto the beach. Big-Dave follows a useful drive with a duffed wedge. Mr. Grumpy hits his second shot short of the Swilken Burn and then duffs his chip into it. It could be a long day.\r\n\r\nAccepted wisdom on the Old Course is to keep the ball left which Mr. Grumpy achieves with a succession of hooks but Fat-Boy, conquering earlier nerves starts to build a score. However, the weather closes in an by the turn it\'s lashing down and windy making holes 7 through 12 a lottery. Fortunately it breaks and the homeward stretch is in sunshine - but still very windy.\r\n\r\nStanding on the 17th tee Fat-Boy points out that he knows he has to hit the ball over the \"O\" in \"Old Course Hotel and Resort\" but as there\'s several - which one? Big-Dave tops one over the dry stone wall and Mr. Grumpy chooses to hit a draw that misses the guard fence by a thou, the bay window of the last room on the 3rd floor of the hotel by a lesser margin, swings over the conservatory roof and finishes plum in the fairway in position A. Easy-peasy lemon squeezy.\r\n\r\nOn the 18th Big-Dave show-boats by hitting a big drive and a wedge to 5 feet to general acclaim from the watching crowd. Nonetheless it\'s the Fat-Boy who\'s derived the best value from his green fee with 35 points and no passes - except the 1st. \r\n\r\nA memorable if moist and low-scoring day.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(640,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 08:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-08 09:09:05',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,163,6,8,'Fortified by an Italian meal in an empty but acceptable restaurant the boys re-group at Letham Grange once made famous by \"a round with Allis\" but now fallen on hard times. Whilst the clubhouse may be in need of a bit of TLC, the course appears in excellent nick. The manager describes it as a \"brute\" and news that the Muffins are booked in for 36 holes is met with general astonishment and derision by all the locals. (They clearly have no idea of the reserves of mental fortitude and physical conditioning the Muffins are able to draw on - but Tate immediately reaches for the buggy keys).\r\n\r\nAfter an opening few holes that are straigthforward, things close in with narrow fairways, lots of water, stone walls and houses - but it\'s all very pretty, if a tough walk. Particular highlights are Mr. Grumpy and Fat-Boy\'s attempts to assassinate the residents of bungalows alongside 16th fairway and Big-Dave\'s 4 wood that finishes 30 yards further than Nance\'s Sunday-best driver.\r\n\r\nThe course is to Tate\'s liking and he accrues sufficient points to take the full ten on offer just shading out DJ. The Nance, DJ and Big-Dave combination comfortably take the match.\r\n\r\nA soup of indeterminate origin and some sandwiches hardly seem sufficient fuel to sustain a chap for a second 18 holes, but that\'s all there is, so on they go......',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(641,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 14:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-08 09:16:04',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,177,6,14,'A re-shuffle sends Big-Dave, Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy out first for another crack at Letham Grange. Tate has re-fuelled the buggy and DJ decides to ride shot-gun.\r\n\r\nThe second round is much as the first, although prior knowledge gleaned in the morning would be a help only if the Muffins were able to hit balls into the same places. A vain hope one feels. It\'s tough on the legs and there\'s lots of ammo going astray such that Mr. Grumpy trousers a foundling \"Winfield\" on the grounds that it\'s going to come in useful at some point. In the event he manages to play about 8 consecutive holes with a battered Callaway that becomes his best friend until he bashes it into a lake on 15. \r\n\r\nThe residents of the bungalows on 16 have sand-bagged themselves in and can be seen to be wearing tin hats, but that doesn\'t dissuade Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy from having another tilt at them.\r\n\r\nIn the final analysis Tate and DJ share the honours with 35 stableford points apeice, well ahead of the field and it cannot be a coincidence that they are in the buggy. Whilst a buggy is open for anyone to hire, it clearly presents an advantage and subsequent tours may have to consider whether a handicap adjustment is appropriate for those seeking a \"ticket to ride\".\r\n\r\nThere\'s a split in the camp food-wise. Tate and DJ take advantage of some fast-food on the return journey whilst the other four find an Indian of dubious quality that Broughty Ferry seems to offer in abundance. This one is distinguished by having a Norwegian waitress - surely a first.\r\n\r\nSeveral beers in the Fisherman\'s provide a satisfactory conclusion.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(642,'2009-05-03','2009-05-03 14:00:00',8,50,128,128,'','2009-05-08 09:47:03',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,22,180,6,14,'It\'s Sunday morning so the Muffins select a local church and pop along to join in with the local service before heading to St Andrews. Hymns ancient and modern are sung with gusto and there\'s a very thoughful sermon by the resident episcopater.\r\n\r\nA putting competition on the \"Himalayas\" has then been scheduled, but is preceded by an excellent breakfast in the St Andrews Clubhouse which offers a multiplicity of delights including fresh fruit, muesli and assorted bakery items as well as the traditional fry-up. This variety of fare will be pointed out to Lawrence and Helen at the first available opportunity.\r\n\r\nThe putting is tricky but enjoyable although the battle-hardened Muffins seem to do little better than the 5 year olds or Grandma\'s they are sandwiched between.\r\n\r\nThen, it\'s off to Ladybank. A tour highlight. Not unlike Frilford or Ferndown it\'s heathland, tree-lined and very pretty. But, there\'s Germans. In particular two of them playing immediately in front of Tate, Mr. Grumpy and Fat-Boy - who\'s made himself conspicuous in a fetching combination of fuschia and pale blue.\r\nTate has tried to insert a ball up Fat-Boy\'s posterior the previous day and now the German\'s are at it. There\'s no shout of \"fore\" - not even an \"Achtung Spitfire\", just a sotto voce \"sorry\" after the event. \r\n\r\n\"For you Moray, ze golf iz over\"\r\n\r\nTate\'s having tree trouble and, not finding conditions to his liking, is drawing on all his reserves of verbal self-abuse. Mr. Grumpy however is revelling in more familiar conditions and on the back nine, Big-Dave starts to exhibit the sort of game that once had him as low as 1.8.\r\n\r\nNonetheless it\'s Nance who takes the honours with a useful 35 points to start a late charge, but DJ\'s in second spot and one fears is building an unassailable lead to compensate for his undisputed reputation as the Sultan of Sand. The front 9\'s are shared and Nance, Big-Dave and DJ take the back and the match.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy\'s better-half Julie drives up during the day and joins the boys for an excellent Indian (DJ will dispute this). But such is the conviviality of the company, Julie chooses to make this a one-off.  ',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(643,'2009-05-03','2009-05-03 14:00:00',8,2,67,67,'','2009-05-03 20:09:32',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,21,179,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,642,1,1),
(644,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 08:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-12 14:55:18',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,33,25,174,6,8,'So, all too soon it\'s the last day and to ensure that the touring party end up sufficiently knackered, Nance has booked 36 holes over the Open Championship qualifier - Leven Links. \r\n\r\nArriving at 9:00am Mr. Grumpy is disturbed to discover that instead of a Club Secretary standing in the entrance with a personal welcome befitting the arrival of the Muffin President, the place is like the Marie Celeste. Mr. Grumpy collects the milk off the front step, delivers it to the kitchen and makes himself a cup of coffee.\r\n\r\nIn due course the Muffins report to the starter who, in common with many others on this tour, seems to have a bit of a problem taking the cash. Big Dave is charged several different amounts such that at one point he\'s paid about £100 (instead of £45) with sundry card credit and cash refunds to balance the transaction.\r\n\r\nLeven is traditional links, anti-clockwise and just for today, benefitting from a gale force wind that turns the 470 yard par 4\'s into pitch and putts, or into monsters depending on the direction of approach. Nance is at pains to point out that holes into the wind which he can\'t reach in 3 blows, let alone two, with no shot, are unlikely to assist his scoring potential. No-one listens.\r\n\r\nThe anti-clockwise nature suggests out-of-bounds on the right which all bar DJ discover to their cost and the kitty\'s benefit, but Mr. Grumpy, having now perfected the duck-hook, is untroubled until the 16th when he plonks the ball that he\'s had for two days into someone\'s front garden.\r\n\r\nIn the event Fat-Boy\'s the winner with a useful 33 points, but with DJ in third spot it looks as if the Fat Lady can begin warming her vocal chords. DJ also extends his domination of the Camel Trophy.\r\n\r\nSo, just 18 holes remain, will it be a bridge too far?',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(645,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 14:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-12 15:47:18',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,27,173,6,14,'Despite more soup and sandwiches, Tate\'s had enough. If Mr. Grumpy had offered him a half then there would have been no more golf, but Mr. G is happy to reduce his inside leg measurement by another couple of centimetres so there\'s no way out. The last toss of tour sends out Nance, Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy first into a wind which, if anything has now strengthened.\r\n\r\nIt\'s tough, but at least the boys know their way round and can smile into the face of adversity. The 5th is a brute, 470 yards or so into the gale. Fat-Boy hits 3 drivers and holes a long putt for a far from routine par 4. The 6th is a shortish par 3. Nance and Fat-Boy hit the green, but for the second time in the day Mr. Grumpy decides that a possible route lies in bouncing the ball off the wall of the house well to the left of the green. It\'s a far from perfect strategy, but one that\'s also adopted by Tate, Big-Dave and DJ unfortunately as the front three are standing on the tee in front of it.\r\n\r\nThree shouts of \"fore left\" have them hitting the floor three times as bits of brickwork pepper the immediate area.\r\n\r\nThe back 9 is tough, there\'s not a lot of quality, more a lot of hanging on for grim death and the fines total climbs courtesy of OOBs and some useful duck action around the 16th and 18th. Sore throats from constant shouts of \"fore\" are the only certainty. In the event Fat-Boy claims a second victory of the day and the 9\'s and indeed the match are halved. Nance\'s 30 points is hard-earned and credit-worthy given the circumstances and his handicap.\r\n\r\nThe final analysis reveals DJ as a worthy Tour Champion courtesy of steady performances throughout, although it\'s worth noting that he contributes £13.50 in camels (50!) and on the only two rounds he was virgin is this respect, weighed in with £4 worth of ducks. His fines total are only exceeded by Big-Dave who suffered from courses not being big enough to contain his wayward strikes.\r\n\r\nWith a vote of thanks to Nance for organising the golf and to Moray for the accommodation, all thoughts turn to the West Country for Muffins 2010. ',1,'picture 026.jpg','True love will always find a way',200,0,0,1),
(646,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 08:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-04-30 14:22:49',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,33,26,182,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,635,1,1),
(647,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 14:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-04-30 19:40:22',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,189,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,637,1,1),
(648,'2009-05-03','2009-05-03 14:00:00',8,50,128,128,'','2009-05-04 14:44:20',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,22,180,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,642,1,1),
(649,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 13:00:00',8,99,130,130,'','2009-05-01 19:34:37',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,36,24,87,3,13,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,639,1,1),
(650,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 13:00:00',8,99,130,130,'','2009-05-01 19:34:37',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,86,3,13,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,639,1,1),
(651,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 12:00:00',8,178,149,149,'','2009-05-01 19:26:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,37,32,103,3,12,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,638,1,1),
(652,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 12:00:00',8,178,149,149,'','2009-05-01 19:26:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,27,21,72,3,12,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,638,1,1),
(653,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 08:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-02 14:32:59',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,32,22,161,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,640,1,1),
(654,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 08:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-02 14:32:59',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,22,165,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,640,1,1),
(655,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 08:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-02 14:32:59',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,163,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,640,1,1),
(656,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 14:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-02 22:52:28',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,177,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,641,1,1),
(657,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 08:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-04 14:45:48',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,27,182,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,644,1,1),
(658,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 08:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-04 14:45:48',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,25,175,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,644,1,1),
(659,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 08:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-04 14:45:48',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,33,25,174,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,644,1,1),
(660,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 14:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-05 11:00:36',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,27,173,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,645,1,1),
(661,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 08:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-02 14:32:59',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,163,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,640,1,1),
(662,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 08:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-04-30 14:22:49',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,33,26,182,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,635,1,1),
(663,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 14:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-04-30 19:40:22',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,189,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,637,1,1),
(664,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 08:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-05-07 18:51:33',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,33,26,182,6,8,'A recurrent feature when, on the odd occasion, Nance organises a tour is his supposed influence over the weather. This is an urban myth. Thus the first morning of the tour proper (excluding the illicit practice by Nance, DJ and Tate on the day before) opens in pissing rain which appears to be set in for the day. In the event, it rains in patches and tries to clear later, but the omens for the unbroken sunshine enjoyed by the Mr. Grumpy-organised tours are not good.\r\n\r\nThe journey up to Dundee the previous day has been uneventful, but Big Dave has filled Mr. Grumpy\'s car with enough bottled water, fruit drinks, Cadbury\'s mini-rolls, muesli bars and flapjacks to keep a small army fed leaving Fat-Boy to be compressed into the smallest space he\'s seen sinec the womb. Whilst doing so Tate, DJ and Nance are sampling the delights of the Old Course where, perhaps uniquely, Nance tries to play it with two contact lenses in the same eye. A dob into the Swilken Burn off the 18th tee is one of many chuckle-worthy moments that has Old Tom Morris turning in his grave.\r\n\r\nHowever, at Downfield on Day One proper Big Dave makes a welcome maiden appearance and smashes one straight up the middle of 1st hole in the company of Tate and the Fat-Boy. Let the fun begin! \r\n\r\nIn the event the \"locals\" view that it will clear up later is proved correct and the now monocular Nance takes the individual honours and the team performance in the company of Mr. Grumpy and DJ. On the 18th DJ has a bit of bunker trouble racking up at least 3 in the greenside trap taking an early camel lead for the tour that he never once looks like relinquishing.\r\n\r\nA soup and sandwich lunch is blissfully free of either tomaotoes or coronation chicken.\r\n\r\n\r\n ',1,'','',200,635,1,1),
(665,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 14:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-05-07 18:56:25',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,189,6,14,'Suitably refreshed, the balls are re-tossed and this time it\'s Tate, DJ (in a buggy) and Big Dave vs the Muffin Originals.',1,'','',200,637,1,1),
(666,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 12:00:00',8,178,149,149,'','2009-05-01 19:26:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,27,21,72,3,12,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,638,1,1),
(667,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 13:00:00',8,99,130,130,'','2009-05-01 19:34:37',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,86,3,13,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,639,1,1),
(668,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 13:00:00',8,99,130,130,'','2009-05-08 08:30:13',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,86,3,13,'With only one tee time in the ballot it\'s only Mr. Grumpy, Big-Dave and Fat-Boy who report for duty in front of the R&A. An early arrival dictated by protocal not only heightens the sense of occasion and anticipation, but also the nerves as the consequences of a crap tee shot in front of the assembled masses sinks in.\r\n\r\nAfter a touching ceremony involving the exchange of £130 our heroes introduce themselves to the Starter. He delivers useful information about keeping the ball left as there is a stiff wind coming from left to right. Fat-Boy takes all this on board and immediately slices two balls out of bounds onto the beach. Big-Dave follows a useful drive with a duffed wedge. Mr. Grumpy hits his second shot short of the Swilken Burn and then duffs his chip into it. It could be a long day.\r\n\r\nAccepted wisdom on the Old Course is to keep the ball left which Mr. Grumpy achieves with a succession of hooks but Fat-Boy, conquering earlier nerves starts to build a score. However, the weather closes in an by the turn it\'s lashing down and windy making holes 7 through 12 a lottery. Fortunately it breaks and the homeward stretch is in sunshine - but still very windy.\r\n\r\nStanding on the 17th tee Fat-Boy points out that he knows he has to hit the ball over the \"O\" in \"Old Course Hotel and Resort\" but as there\'s several - so which one? Big-Dave tops one over the dry stone wall and Mr. Grumpy chooses to hit a draw that misses the guard fence by a thou, the bay window of the last room on the 3rd floor of the hotel by a lesser margin, swings over the conservatory roof and finishes plum in the fairway in position A.\r\n\r\nOn the 18th Big-Dave show-boats by hitting a big drive and a wedge to 5 feet to general acclaim from the watching crowd. Nonetheless it\'s the Fat-Boy who\'s derived the best value from his green fee with 35 points and no passes - except the 1st. A memorable day.',1,'','',200,639,1,1),
(669,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 08:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-02 14:32:59',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,163,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,640,1,1),
(670,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 08:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-08 08:41:45',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,163,6,8,'Fortified by an Italian meal in an empty but acceptable restaurant the boys re-group at Letham Grange once made famous by \"a round with Allis\" but now fallen on hard times. Whilst the clubhouse may be in need of a bit of TLC, the course appears in excellent nick. The manager describes it as a \"brute\" and news that the Muffins are booked in for 36 holes is met with general astonishment and derision by all the locals. (They clearly have no idea of the reserves of mental fortitude and physical conditioning the Muffins are able to draw on - but Tate immediately reaches for the buggy keys).\r\n\r\nAfter an opening few holes that are straigthforward, things close in with narrow fairways, lots of water, stone walls and houses - but it\'s all very pretty if a tough walk.',1,'','',200,640,1,1),
(671,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 14:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-02 22:52:28',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,177,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,641,1,1),
(672,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 14:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-08 08:55:18',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,177,6,14,'A re-shuffle sends Big-Dave, Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy out first for another crack at Letham Grange',1,'','',200,641,1,1),
(673,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 08:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-08 08:52:33',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,21,163,6,8,'Fortified by an Italian meal in an empty but acceptable restaurant the boys re-group at Letham Grange once made famous by \"a round with Allis\" but now fallen on hard times. Whilst the clubhouse may be in need of a bit of TLC, the course appears in excellent nick. The manager describes it as a \"brute\" and news that the Muffins are booked in for 36 holes is met with general astonishment and derision by all the locals. (They clearly have no idea of the reserves of mental fortitude and physical conditioning the Muffins are able to draw on - but Tate immediately reaches for the buggy keys).\r\n\r\nAfter an opening few holes that are straigthforward, things close in with narrow fairways, lots of water, stone walls and houses - but it\'s all very pretty, if a tough walk. Particular highlights are Mr. Grumpy and Fat-Boy\'s attempts to assassinate the residents of bungalows alongside 16th fairway.\r\n\r\nThe course is to Tate\'s liking and he accrues sufficient points to take the full ten on offer just shading out DJ. The Nance, DJ and Big-Dave combination comfortably take the match.\r\n\r\nA soup of indeterminate origin and some sandwiches hardly seem sufficient fuel to sustain a chap for a second 18 holes, but that\'s all there is, so on they go......',1,'','',200,640,1,1),
(674,'2009-05-02','2009-05-02 14:00:00',8,171,141,141,'','2009-05-08 09:07:27',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,24,177,6,14,'A re-shuffle sends Big-Dave, Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy out first for another crack at Letham Grange. Tate has re-fuelled the buggy and DJ decides to ride shot-gun.\r\n\r\nThe second round is much as the first, although prior knowledge gleaned in the morning would be a help only if the Muffins were able to hit balls into the same places. A vain hope one feels. It\'s tough on the legs and there\'s lots of ammo going astray such that Mr. Grumpy trousers a foundling \"Winfield\" on the grounds that it\'s going to come in useful at some point. In the event he manages to play about 8 consecutive holes with a battered Callaway that becomes his best friend until he bashes it into a lake on 15. \r\n\r\nThe residents of the bungalows on 16 have sand-bagged themselves in and can be seen to be wearing tin hats, but that doesn\'t dissuade Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy from having another bash at them.\r\n\r\nIn the final analysis Tate and DJ share the honours with 35 stableford points apeice, well ahead of the field and it cannot be a coincidence that they are in the buggy. Whilst a buggy is open for anyone to hire, it clearly presents an advantage.',1,'','',200,641,1,1),
(675,'2009-05-03','2009-05-03 14:00:00',8,50,128,128,'','2009-05-04 14:44:20',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,22,180,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,642,1,1),
(676,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 08:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-05-07 18:58:41',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,33,26,182,6,8,'A recurrent feature when, on the odd occasion, Nance organises a tour is his supposed influence over the weather. This is an urban myth. Thus the first morning of the tour proper (excluding the illicit practice by Nance, DJ and Tate on the day before) opens in pissing rain which appears to be set in for the day. In the event, it rains in patches and tries to clear later, but the omens for the unbroken sunshine enjoyed by the Mr. Grumpy-organised tours are not good.\r\n\r\nThe journey up to Dundee the previous day has been uneventful, but Big-Dave has filled Mr. Grumpy\'s car with enough bottled water, fruit drinks, Cadbury\'s mini-rolls, muesli bars and flapjacks to keep a small army fed leaving Fat-Boy to be compressed into the smallest space he\'s seen sinec the womb. Whilst doing so Tate, DJ and Nance are sampling the delights of the Old Course where, perhaps uniquely, Nance tries to play it with two contact lenses in the same eye. A dob into the Swilken Burn off the 18th tee is one of many chuckle-worthy moments that has Old Tom Morris turning in his grave.\r\n\r\nHowever, at Downfield on Day One proper Big-Dave makes a welcome maiden appearance and smashes one straight up the middle of 1st hole in the company of Tate and the Fat-Boy. Let the fun begin! \r\n\r\nIn the event the \"locals\" view that it will clear up later is proved correct and the now monocular Nance takes the individual honours and the team performance in the company of Mr. Grumpy and DJ. On the 18th DJ has a bit of bunker trouble racking up at least 3 in the greenside trap taking an early camel lead for the tour that he never once looks like relinquishing.\r\n\r\nA soup and sandwich lunch is blissfully free of either tomaotoes or coronation chicken.\r\n\r\n\r\n ',1,'','',200,635,1,1),
(677,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 14:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-05 11:00:36',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,27,173,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,645,1,1),
(678,'2009-05-10','2009-05-10 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-12 16:16:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,32,24,202,7,8,'With only 5 days to recover from Tour a certain \"heavy leggededness\" was exhibited by several Muffins. In fact seven Muffins nearly became six when Mr. Grumpy thought he was off to the NHS Malvern Flower Show and, as it transpired, this would have been the sounder decision. In the event he joins Nance, Fat-Boy, Tate in the second group while Turbo, Brett and DJ do the pathfinding.\r\n\r\nOn the 4th Nance discovers he\'s playing with a dislocated wrist and by the 15th Mr. Grumpy\'s come out in sympathy with a dislocated ankle. Evidenced by his 3 OOBs, Fat-Boy is merely dislocated from reality.\r\n\r\nDespite general low-scoring it\'s revealed that a steadier performance from the lead 3-ball has secured them £2 at the sandwiches. Mr. Grumpy shows Lawrence and Helen the breakfast menu from the St Andrews clubhouse that adds, muesli, fresh fruit and several bakery items to the standard fried fare - but Lawrence consigns this to the bin.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy takes a circuitous route to the 10th green via two big slices. As he walks past the wrong side of 9th tee Dave Widall, in an effort to be helpful, points out the location of a bruised and battered scrob-dobbler \"Top-Flite\". Mr. Grumpy inspects it, rejects it and swats it away in disdain. That\'s a pity because it turns out to be Turbo\'s drive off the 11th.\r\n\r\nOn the 15th hole Tate not only fails to make the Ladie\'s tee, but fails to make the Yellow Tee as well and having walked all of the 5 yards to his ball then declares he now has the wrong club!\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy\'s tee shot on the 16th cannons into the OOB but careers across the 15th green, through the following 4-ball and \"possibly\" into the bunker where he decides to abandon it.\r\n\r\nIn the clubhouse he argues that he cannot possibly pick up an OOB fine because it wasn\'t. Nance then offers him the alternative of £3.25 in camel fines so, sensibly, he selects the former.\r\n\r\nMaintaining his Tour form DJ collects the 10 points courtesy of a 32, followed by Brett and Fat-Boy on 31. Camel-meisters are Brett and Nance. The 9\'s are halved, with DJ, Turbo and Brett taking the match \r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(679,'2009-05-10','2009-05-10 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-10 16:48:41',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,32,24,202,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,678,1,1),
(680,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 08:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-04 14:45:48',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,33,25,174,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,644,1,1),
(681,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 08:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-12 14:50:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,33,25,174,6,8,'So, all too soon it\'s the last day and to ensure that the touring party end up sufficiently knackered, Nance has booked 36 holes over the Open Championship qualifier - Leven Links. Arriving at 9:00am Mr. Grumpy is disturbed to discover that instead of a Club Secretary standing in the entrance with a personal welcome befitting of the Muffin President, the place is like the Marie Celeste. Mr. Grumpy collects the milk of the front step, delivers it to the kitchen and makes himself a cup of coffee.\r\n\r\nIn due course the Muffins report to the starter who, in common with many others on this tour, seems to have a problem taking the cash. Big Dave is charged several different amounts such that at one point he\'s paid about £100 instead of £45 with sundry card credit and cash refunds to balance the transaction.\r\n\r\nLeven is traditional links, anti-clockwise and, today, beneffiting from a gale force winds that turns 470 yard par 4\'s into pitch and putts or into monsters depending on the direction of approach. Nance is at pains to point out that holes into the wind which he can\'t reach in 3 blows, let alone two, with no shot, are unlikely to assist his scoring potential.\r\n\r\nThe anti-clockwise nature suggests out-of-bounds on the right which Fat-Boy and Big Dave discover to their cost and the kitty\'s benefit, but Mr. Grumpy, having now perfected the duck-hook, is untroubled until the 16th when he plonks the ball that he\'s had for two days into someone\'s front garden.\r\n\r\nIn the event Fat-Boy\'s the winner with a useful 33 points, but with DJ in third spot it looks as if the Fat Lady can begin warming her tonsils. DJ also extends his domination of the Camel Trophy.\r\n\r\nSo, just 18 holes remain, will it be a bridge too far?',1,'','',200,644,1,1),
(682,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 14:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-10 16:48:01',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,27,173,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'picture 026.jpg','True love will always find a way',200,645,1,1),
(683,'2009-05-04','2009-05-04 14:00:00',8,167,123,123,'','2009-05-12 15:20:27',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,27,173,6,14,'Despite more soup and sandwiches, Tate\'s had enough. If Mr. Grumpy had offered him a half then there would have been no more golf, but Mr. G is happy to reduce his inside leg measurement by another couple of centimetres so there\'s no way out. The last toss of tour sends out Nance, Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy first into a wind which, if anything has now strengthened.\r\n\r\nIt\'s tough, but at least the boys know their way round and can smile into the face of adversity. The 5th is a brute, 470 yards or so into the gale. Fat-Boy hits 3 drivers and holes a long putt for a far from routine par 4. The 6th is a shortish par 3. Nance and Fat-Boy hit the green, but for the second time in the day Mr. Grumpy decides that a possible route lies in bouncing the ball off the wall of the house well to the left of the green. It\'s a far from perfect strategy, but one that\'s also adopted by Tate, Big-Dave and DJ unfortunately as the front three are standing on the tee in front of it.\r\n\r\nThree shouts of \"fore left\" have them hitting the floor three times as bits of brickwork pepper the immediate area.\r\n\r\nThe back 9 is tough, there\'s not a lot of quality, more a lot of hanging on for grim death and the fines total climbs courtesy of OOBs and some useful duck action around the 16th and 18th. Sore throats from constant shouts of \"fore\" are the only certainty. In the event Fat-Boy claims a second victory of the day and the 9\'s and indeed the match are halved. Nance\'s 30 points is hard-earned and credit-worthy given the circumstances and his handicap.\r\n\r\nThe final analysis reveals DJ as a worthy Tour Champion courtesy of steady performances throughout, although it\'s worth noting that he contributes £13.50 in camels and on the only two rounds he was virgin is this respect, weighed in with £4 worth of ducks.\r\n\r\nWith a vote of thanks to Nance for organising the golf and to Moray for the accommodation, all thoughts turn to the West Country for Muffins 2010. ',1,'picture 026.jpg','True love will always find a way',200,645,1,1),
(684,'2009-05-10','2009-05-10 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-10 16:48:41',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,32,24,202,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,678,1,1),
(685,'2009-05-17','2009-05-17 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-18 19:13:42',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,26,209,7,8,'Mr. Grumpy decides that a single tour is just not enough for one month, so decides a trip to the Grimes\' caravan at Aberdovey is required.  7 Muffins therefore assemble with waterproofs at the ready - a deluge is forecast.  A forecast which Fat-Boy duly ignores, and it is with some trepidation that he advances to the first tee, in the knowledge that he has no waterproofs, nor change of clothing in his locker.  A moist return home is expected - on shanks\'s-pony no doubt, since a lift is unlikely.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy chooses Brett and Turbo to witness the fun and games, leaving Nance, Tate, DJ and Cutie-Cutie to bring up the rear.  Uneventful golf is brightened up when the forecasted downpours arrive by the 4th hole.  Mediocre scoring finds the 4-ball taking the front 9 by a clear 3 shots.   A major shock, given the quality of the golf from the 4 horsemen.  The 8th, in particular, sees Tate on the wrong side of the 10th fairway after 2 shots, but still manages to get down in 3 more shots for a 5 nett 4 for a point for his team.  Mr. Grumpy would have been delighted to have witnessed it.\r\n\r\nWith the weather improving, steam starts to rise from Fat-Boys tour trousers.  He claims it is due to the rise in temperature, Muffins suggest an alternative cause.  The back 9 proves to be a closer event, and in the end is halved.  DJ continues his tour form by picking up the camels.  Turbo joins him, despite his attempts to carefully steer around the bunkers on 17.  \r\n\r\nNance and Brett share the spoils, but only by a short head from Fat-Boy and a slightly longer one from Cutie-Cutie.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(686,'2009-05-17','2009-05-17 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-17 20:00:58',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,26,209,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,685,1,1),
(687,'2009-05-17','2009-05-17 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-17 20:00:58',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,26,209,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,685,1,1),
(688,'2009-05-24','2009-05-24 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-27 11:58:14',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,27,199,6,8,'Fines - Mr. Grumpy\r\n\r\nLost Match............. = £4.00\r\nCamels.....15 @25p = £3.75\r\nOOBs..........2 @£1  = £2.00\r\nDucks.........1 @£1  = £1.00\r\n\r\nTOTAL.....................£10.75\r\n\r\nAn expensive morning, the result of being considerably less competent than Newcastle Utd and one which may lead to one of Mr. Grumpy\'s fabled retirements. Elsewhere things were a little brighter. Fat-Boy having had the common good sense to pair himself with Brett and Cutie-Cutie take a well deserved win with 39 points. Everyone bar Mr. G gets into the 30\'s and the weather was gorgeous. Incidents were few and far between. Nance having slapped a 6 iron due right on the 10th declares it to be the \"worst shot he\'s hit in years\". This heady accolade only lasts two holes as his tee shots on the 12th and 13th are worse. Nontheless he gets back in 19 points.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(689,'2009-05-25','2009-05-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-25 11:15:57',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,27,200,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,688,1,1),
(690,'2009-05-25','2009-05-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-25 11:15:57',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,27,200,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,688,1,1),
(691,'2009-05-25','2009-05-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-25 11:15:57',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,27,199,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,688,1,1),
(692,'2009-05-25','2009-05-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-25 11:15:57',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,27,199,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,688,1,1),
(693,'2009-05-25','2009-05-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-25 11:37:18',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,27,199,6,8,'Fines - Mr. Grumpy\r\n\r\nLost Match............. = £4.00\r\nCamels.....15 @25p = £3.75\r\nOOBs..........2 @£1  = £2.00\r\nDucks.........1 @£1  = £1.00\r\n\r\nTOTAL.....................£10.75\r\n\r\nAn expensive morning, the result of being considerably less competent than Newcastle Utd and one which may lead to one of Mr. Grumpy\'s fabled retirements. Elsewhere things were a little brighter. Fat-Boy having had the common good sense to pair himself with Brett and Cutie-Cutie take a well deserved win with 39 points. Everyone bar Mr. G gets into the 30\'s and the weather was gorgeous. Incidents were few and far between. Nance having slapped a 6 iron due right on the 10th declares it to be the \"worst shot he\'s hit in years\". This heady accolade only lasts two holes as his tee shots on the 12th and 13th are worse. Nontheless he gets back in 19 points.',1,'','',200,688,1,1),
(694,'2009-05-31','2009-05-31 07:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-31 14:51:37',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,28,190,6,7,'The Final of the Warks Amateur blocks up the tee from 8:00am so the boys opt for a dawn start. However, on a positive note the presence of golfing glitterati flushes out more greenkeepers than you can shake a stick at and OGC is in manicured nick and bathed in sunshine.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy pits Tate, DJ and Mr. Grumpy against himself, Nance and Brett.\r\n\r\nThe 10th tee is not an ideal setting off point, especially for Tate and Mr. Grumpy who have been known to un-nerve those settling down with a coffee and the Sunday papers in Dovehouse Lane. Tate duly obliges. As well as OOBs there\'s a great deal of bunker activity early doors suggesting that the Autumn away-day in Porthcawl may yet be upgraded to a long weekend.\r\n\r\nThe front (back) 9\'s are shared in 40 points but on the back (front) 9 Tate, DJ and Mr. Grumpy pull away for a comfortable victory. With an individual 35 points Mr. Grumpy takes the individual honours and once more demonstrates the feast or famine that characterises his golf. Tate and Nance dob-in about £6 in camel fines.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(695,'2009-05-31','2009-05-31 07:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-31 14:20:18',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,28,190,6,7,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,694,1,1),
(696,'2009-05-31','2009-05-31 07:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-31 14:20:18',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,28,189,6,7,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,694,1,1),
(697,'2009-05-31','2009-05-31 07:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-31 14:20:18',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,28,189,6,7,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,694,1,1),
(698,'2009-05-31','2009-05-31 07:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-31 14:51:37',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,28,190,6,7,'The Final of the Warks Amateur blocks up the tee from 8:00am so the boys opt for a dawn start. However, on a positive note the presence of golfing glitterati flushes out more greenkeepers than you can shake a stick at and OGC is in manicured nick and bathed in sunshine.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy pits Tate, DJ and Mr. Grumpy against himself, Nance and Brett.\r\n\r\nThe 10th tee is not an ideal setting off point, especially for Tate and Mr. Grumpy who have been known to un-nerve those settling down with a coffee and the Sunday papers in Dovehouse Lane. Tate duly obliges. As well as OOBs there\'s a great deal of bunker activity early doors suggesting that the Autumn away-day in Porthcawl may yet be upgraded to a long weekend.\r\n\r\nThe front (back) 9\'s are shared in 40 points but on the back (front) 9 Tate, DJ and Mr. Grumpy pull away for a comfortable victory. With an individual 35 points Mr. Grumpy takes the individual honours and once more demonstrates the feast or famine that characterises his golf. Tate and Nance dob-in about £6 in camel fines.',1,'','',200,694,1,1),
(699,'2009-05-31','2009-05-31 07:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-05-31 14:51:37',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,28,190,6,7,'The Final of the Warks Amateur blocks up the tee from 8:00am so the boys opt for a dawn start. However, on a positive note the presence of golfing glitterati flushes out more greenkeepers than you can shake a stick at and OGC is in manicured nick and bathed in sunshine.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy pits Tate, DJ and Mr. Grumpy against himself, Nance and Brett.\r\n\r\nThe 10th tee is not an ideal setting off point, especially for Tate and Mr. Grumpy who have been known to un-nerve those settling down with a coffee and the Sunday papers in Dovehouse Lane. Tate duly obliges. As well as OOBs there\'s a great deal of bunker activity early doors suggesting that the Autumn away-day in Porthcawl may yet be upgraded to a long weekend.\r\n\r\nThe front (back) 9\'s are shared in 40 points but on the back (front) 9 Tate, DJ and Mr. Grumpy pull away for a comfortable victory. With an individual 35 points Mr. Grumpy takes the individual honours and once more demonstrates the feast or famine that characterises his golf. Tate and Nance dob-in about £6 in camel fines.',1,'','',200,694,1,1),
(700,'2009-06-07','2009-06-07 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-07 15:50:58',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,30,132,4,8,'An awkward 5-ball is avoided at the last minute when Tate decides the monsoon conditions are not to his liking, and decides to drive to Scotland to play Western Gailes instead.  Fat-Boy decides he wants to play with DJ in the resultant fourball, a decision which turned out to be a shrewd one, although Nance was quietly confident at the outset that his pairing with Mr. Grumpy was likely to result in an easy victory, due to Mr. Grumpy\'s recent form.\r\n\r\nThe moist conditions didn\'t seem to affect either Mr. Grumpy nor DJ who turned in competent outward nines of 20 and 19 respenctively.  Nance was struggling on the greens.  His attempt for a par 4 on the 6th pulled up an inch short, with Nance pointing to the fluff in front of the hole being the cause.  Fat-Boy, who is clearly more experienced in these things, suggested that an alternative approach would have offered a better result, whereby Nance should have parted the fluff, thereby revealing the hole in all its glory, and thus enabling a clean insertion.  Nance will know better for next time.\r\n\r\nNances contribution of only 14 for the front 9 was helped by an air-shot on 3, but it was Mr. Grumpys efforts which saved the day and helped Nance and Mr. Grumpy take the front 9 by a short head.\r\n\r\nOnce again, Mr. Grumpy demonstrated that golf is a game of 2 halves.  A blob on 10 followed by two BOOBS and another blob on 11.  2 further blobs on the back 9 helped him to double figures (just), coming in with a total of 30.  Nances 18 for the back 9 wasn\'t enough either and with DJ continuing his excellent early form, he and Fat-Boy take the back 9 and the match.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy compounds his disappointing days work by picking up the 14 camels to add to his 3 BOOBS.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(701,'2009-06-07','2009-06-07 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-07 15:08:14',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,37,30,132,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,700,1,1),
(702,'2009-06-07','2009-06-07 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-07 15:08:14',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,37,30,132,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,700,1,1),
(703,'2009-06-07','2009-06-07 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-07 15:08:14',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,37,30,132,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,700,1,1),
(704,'2009-06-07','2009-06-07 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-07 15:50:58',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,30,132,4,8,'An awkward 5-ball is avoided at the last minute when Tate decides the monsoon conditions are not to his liking, and decides to drive to Scotland to play Western Gailes instead.  Fat-Boy decides he wants to play with DJ in the resultant fourball, a decision which turned out to be a shrewd one, although Nance was quietly confident at the outset that his pairing with Mr. Grumpy was likely to result in an easy victory, due to Mr. Grumpy\'s recent form.\r\n\r\nThe moist conditions didn\'t seem to affect either Mr. Grumpy nor DJ who turned in competent outward nines of 20 and 19 respenctively.  Nance was struggling on the greens.  His attempt for a par 4 on the 6th pulled up an inch short, with Nance pointing to the fluff in front of the hole being the cause.  Fat-Boy, who is clearly more experienced in these things, suggested that an alternative approach would have offered a better result, whereby Nance should have parted the fluff, thereby revealing the hole in all its glory, and thus enabling a clean insertion.  Nance will know better for next time.\r\n\r\nNances contribution of only 14 for the front 9 was helped by an air-shot on 3, but it was Mr. Grumpys efforts which saved the day and helped Nance and Mr. Grumpy take the front 9 by a short head.\r\n\r\nOnce again, Mr. Grumpy demonstrated that golf is a game of 2 halves.  A blob on 10 followed by two BOOBS and another blob on 11.  2 further blobs on the back 9 helped him to double figures (just), coming in with a total of 30.  Nances 18 for the back 9 wasn\'t enough either and with DJ continuing his excellent early form, he and Fat-Boy take the back 9 and the match.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy compounds his disappointing days work by picking up the 14 camels to add to his 3 BOOBS.',1,'','',200,700,1,1),
(705,'2009-06-14','2009-06-14 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-16 18:32:02',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,39,27,156,5,8,'A glorious summer\'s morn, but with Turbo still in Spain Fat-Boy and Nance choose an unfortunate time to play their pesky Summer 4-Ball leaving the remainder to cope with an unpopular fivesome.\r\n\r\nThe 6th tee seems to be the best place to hide and DJ is paired with Mr. Grumpy although no-one can figure out what the scoring system should be for such a match. Tate volunteers to keep all 5 scores  - which is going to be a challenge.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy sets his stall out early by finding the bunker halfway up the left of the twelth fairway off the 7th tee - and it\'s plugged as well! In fact, after 4 holes the bunker count is well into double figures such that the famous five start debating how many they can now off-load onto the missing pair.\r\n\r\nOff the 11th tee Cutie-Cutie also finds a bunker - the problem being this one is by the 8th green and it\'s plugged as well. He takes a drop and then bashes it into the woods out of bounds. Kerching! \r\n\r\nEarlier Tate has somehow contrived to hit a drive off the 7th tee left of the trees that separate it from the 6th fairway that bounces out into the middle of the 7th. On the 15th he repeats the feat but come the 16th tee his luck runs out and OOBs on 16 and 17 result. \r\n\r\nOn 18 Cutie-Cutie lashes his ball due right onto the 1st fairway and shouts f**k off twice, loudly. This starts a dog in the Buryfield Road gardens barking wildly. It takes the owner several minutes of shouting \"be quiet Henry\" to calm it down, but just as he does so Tate comes up with a wild hook to start things all over again. Tate is now £3 down.\r\n\r\nThe only calming influence in a sea of bad-tempered mediocrity is Brett who quietly complies a winning 39 points with only one crowned hole to vent his spleen on. DJ trails in 2nd some way behind but contributes a load of bunkers for Tate to pick up. Meanwhile Mr. Grumpy hits only one fairway, no greens in regulation whatsoever and manages only one par for another miserable and career threatening week.\r\n\r\n£8.25 is added to the fines fund.\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(706,'2009-06-14','2009-06-14 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-14 16:01:34',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,39,27,156,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,705,1,1),
(707,'2009-06-14','2009-06-14 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-14 16:01:34',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,39,27,156,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,705,1,1),
(708,'2009-06-14','2009-06-14 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-16 18:20:59',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,39,27,156,5,8,'A glorious summer\'s morn, but with Turbo still in Spain Fat-Boy and Nance choose an unfortuante time to play their pesky Summer 4-Ball leaving the remainder with an unpopular fivesome.\r\n\r\nThe 6th tee seems to be the best place to hide and DJ is paired with Mr. Grumpy although no-one can figure out what the scoring system should be for such a match. Tate volunteers to keep all 5 scores which is going to be a challenge.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy sets his stall out early by finding the bunker halfway up the left of the twelth fairway off the 7th tee - and it\'s plugged as well! In fact, after 4 holes the bunker count is well into double figures such that the famous five start debating how many they can off-load onto the missing pair.\r\n\r\nOff the 11th tee Cutie-Cuitie also finds a bunker - the problem is this one is by the 8th green and it\'s plugged as well. He takes a drop and then bashes it out of bounds. Kerching! \r\n\r\nTate has contrived to hit a drive off the 7th tee left of the trees that separate it from the 6th fairway that somehow bounces out into the middle of the 7th. On the 15th he repeats the feat but come the 16th tee his luck runs out and OOBs on 16 and 17 result. On 18 Cutie-Cutie lashes his ball due right onto the 1st fairway and shouts f**k off twice, loudly. This starts a dog somewhere in the Buryfield Road gardens barking wildly. It takes the owner several minutes of shouting \"be quiet Henry\" to calm it down, but just as he does so Tate comes up with a wild hook to start things all over again. Tate is now £3 down.\r\n\r\nThe only calming influence in a sea of bad-tempered mediocrity is Brett who quietly complies a winning 39 points with only one crowned hole to vent his spleen on. DJ trails in 2nd, some way behind but contributes a load of bunkers for Tate to pick up. Maenwhile Mr. Grumpy hits only one fairway, no greens in regulation whatsoever and only one par for another miserable and caerr threatening week.\r\n\r\n£8.25 is added to the fines fund.\r\n',1,'','',200,705,1,1),
(709,'2009-06-14','2009-06-14 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-16 18:30:44',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,39,27,156,5,8,'A glorious summer\'s morn, but with Turbo still in Spain Fat-Boy and Nance choose an unfortunate time to play their pesky Summer 4-Ball leaving the remainder t cope with an unpopular fivesome.\r\n\r\nThe 6th tee seems to be the best place to hide and DJ is paired with Mr. Grumpy although no-one can figure out what the scoring system should be for such a match. Tate volunteers to keep all 5 scores  - which is going to be a challenge.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy sets his stall out early by finding the bunker halfway up the left of the twelth fairway off the 7th tee - and it\'s plugged as well! In fact, after 4 holes the bunker count is well into double figures such that the famous five start debating how many they can now off-load onto the missing pair.\r\n\r\nOff the 11th tee Cutie-Cutie also finds a bunker - the problem being this one is by the 8th green and it\'s plugged as well. He takes a drop and then bashes it into the woods out of bounds. Kerching! \r\n\r\nEarlier Tate has somehow contrived to hit a drive off the 7th tee left of the trees that separate it from the 6th fairway that bounces out into the middle of the 7th. On the 15th he repeats the feat but come the 16th tee his luck runs out and OOBs on 16 and 17 result. \r\n\r\nOn 18 Cutie-Cutie lashes his ball due right onto the 1st fairway and shouts f**k off twice, loudly. This starts a dog in the Buryfield Road gardens barking wildly. It takes the owner several minutes of shouting \"be quiet Henry\" to calm it down, but just as he does so Tate comes up with a wild hook to start things all over again. Tate is now £3 down.\r\n\r\nThe only calming influence in a sea of bad-tempered mediocrity is Brett who quietly complies a winning 39 points with only one crowned hole to vent his spleen on. DJ trails in 2nd some way behind but contributes a load of bunkers for Tate to pick up. Meanwhile Mr. Grumpy hits only one fairway, no greens in regulation whatsoever and manages only one par for another miserable and career threatening week.\r\n\r\n£8.25 is added to the fines fund.\r\n',1,'','',200,705,1,1),
(710,'2009-06-21','2009-06-21 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-21 22:49:33',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,30,171,5,8,'No Cutie-Cutie, no Fat-Boy and no Nance so once again a dodgy 5-ball has to skulk off to the 6th tee. It\'s a welcome return for Turbo after a couple of weeks in Menorca and the rest certainly seems to have done him a power of good. Brett partners DJ and after a few choice comments from DJ about Tate\'s lack of basic arithmetic the previous week, he gets handed the card and has to keep all 5 scores.\r\n\r\nFortunately the course is very quiet and in fact a past captain is also in a 5 ball so once again, the Muffins seem to be setting a trend. \r\n\r\nTurbo is hitting fairways with regularity, chipping stiff and knocking in putts and after only a few holes the game\'s up. In an effort to restore some respectability to his game, Mr. Grumpy has left most of his clubs in the boot of his car and with the exception of a couple of OOBs, is tracking Turbo, albeit from some distance. The 3 ball take the front 9 comfortably but Brett and DJ shade the back 9 to limit their exposure to just £2. \r\n\r\nIn individual terms it\'s no contest with Turbo\'s 42 points being 5 better than Mr. Grumpy - who also shares the camels with DJ. Tate has a frustrating morning with a number of fairway splitting drives resulting in blobs and a variety of self critical descriptions.\r\n\r\nAnother £15 goes into the kitty.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(711,'2009-06-21','2009-06-21 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-21 15:33:51',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,30,171,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,710,1,1),
(712,'2009-06-21','2009-06-21 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-21 15:33:51',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,30,171,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,710,1,1),
(713,'2009-06-21','2009-06-21 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-21 15:33:51',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,42,30,171,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,710,1,1),
(714,'2009-06-28','2009-06-28 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-28 18:12:40',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,27,196,6,8,'Another sylvan morning at the idyll that is OGC and at last there\'s an even number as Tate and DJ are mystery absentees leaving two 3-balls to battle it out. For once the Fat-Boy manages two clear ball groupings at the toss and he sets off with Turbo - who\'s hoping that his streak of form is still present and Nance who, having not troubled Mr Royd Birkett-Barker the previous day, is now probably over-trained.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy has been fortunate to have been paired with Cutie-Cutie and Brett whereby his opening two blobs are of no account as his partners pile on the points. Mr. Grumpy\'s game is as much a mystery to him as it is to anyone else. He once again fails to find any fairways, but uncharacteristically rescues himself from ignominy with chips and single putts most of the way round.\r\n\r\nAt the excellent sarnies 41 points from Team B is sufficient for an insurmountable lead and although Team A - in particular Fat-Boy and Turbo -  get their act together to halve the back 9 in 41, it\'s to no avail. Cutie-Cutie shades the individual honours with 38 points from Brett\'s 36.\r\n\r\nNance and the Grumpster pick up the camels and there\'s a smattering of ducks, OOBs and retrospective OWLS to swell Mr. Grumpy\'s holiday pocket money ....oops, the kitty.......by £15.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a moot point whether there will be a match next week as the Captain seems determine to bugger things up thus saving Mr. Grumpy and the Fat-Boy some OWLS.\r\n\r\nMATCH REPORT SUPPLEMENTAL: On banking this weeks fines Mr. Grumpy thought perhaps a reconciliation might be in order. The last fines report suggests that £138.25 should be in Mr. Grumpy\'s tender care. In fact, a count up reveals that he only has £134.50. As Mr Micawber might be heard to remark - \"result misery.\"',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(715,'2009-06-28','2009-06-28 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-28 17:31:36',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,27,195,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,714,1,1),
(716,'2009-06-28','2009-06-28 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-28 17:31:36',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,27,196,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,714,1,1),
(717,'2009-06-28','2009-06-28 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-28 17:31:36',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,27,196,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,714,1,1),
(718,'2009-06-28','2009-06-28 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-06-28 18:02:49',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,27,196,6,8,'Another sylvan morning at the idyll that is OGC and at last there\'s an even number as Tate and DJ are mystery absentees leaving two 3-balls to battle it out. For once the Fat-Boy manages two clear ball groupings at the toss and he sets off with Turbo - who\'s hoping that his streak of form is still present and Nance who, having not troubled Mr Royd Birkett-Barker the previous day, is now probably over-trained.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy has been fortunate to have been paired with Cutie-Cutie and Brett whereby his opening two blobs are of no account as his partners pile on the points. Mr. Grumpy\'s game is as much a mystery to him as it is to anyone else. He once again fails to find any fairways, but uncharacteristically rescues himself from ignominy with chips and single putts most of the way round.\r\n\r\nAt the excellent sarnies 41 points from Team B is sufficient for an insurmountable lead and although Team A - in particular Fat-Boy and Turbo -  get their act together to halve the back 9 in 41, it\'s to no avail. Cutie-Cutie shades the individual honours with 38 points from Brett\'s 36.\r\n\r\nNance and the Grumpster pick up the camels and there\'s a smattering of ducks, OOBs and retrospective OWLS to swell Mr. Grumpy\'s holiday pocket money ....oops, the kitty.......by £15.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a moot point whether there will be a match next week as the Captain seems determine to bugger things up thus saving Mr. Grumpy and the Fat-Boy some OWLS.',1,'','',200,714,1,1),
(719,'2009-07-12','2009-07-12 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-12 17:55:08',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,33,25,151,5,8,'It is increasingly the norm that Muffins turn out on a Sunday morning as a embarrassing 5-ball, and so it was for the mid-July fixture.  Fat-Boy nursing a sore head, and presumably other sore bits, after Guidos wedding and a night in a hotel .  Mr. Grumpy and Turbo celebrating Mrs. Grumpys most recent 21st birthday.\r\n\r\nMuffins were further hampered by the OGC Mixed Open, which necessitated Muffins playing the 6th and 7th twice, in lieu of 1st and 2nd.  No-one was quite sure if some Muffins were gaining and others were losing from this arrangement, however it did ensure that a full 18 were played.  It was the sort of last minute organisation, and dealing with the prevailing conditions, of which the USGA would be proud.\r\n\r\nSuch was the rush on the first tee, OGCs 6th, that teams were not drawn until after the hole had been completed.  Nance stepped in for the ball toss and chose to play with Cutie-Cutie, leaving DJ and Brett to worry themselves over Tates performance up the 6th.\r\n\r\nTate was not a happy camper, starting with a topped tee shot off the 1st for the first duck of the day – rumours of his early retirement before the game are now even more likely, and he is now threatening to be absent until mid-August and he hopes to find his game in the  period to then.\r\n\r\nBrett was even less happy, and the onset of a mid-round brain tumour did little to help his concentration.  Maybe he should have taken some branded pain-killers rather than the counterfeit rubbish he had in his bag – why didn\'t he take the advice of his friendly pharmaceutical wholesaler ?\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie ended up on top of the pile, with 33 points.  Nance and DJ only a short head behind.  DJs game of two halves was something Mr. Grumpy would have been proud of.  Nance and Cutie-Cutie take the match by an even shorter head.  The margin of ½ point was so small that Tate\'s scoring will come under some scrutiny, and several potential recounts.  Money has already changed hands however.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(720,'2009-07-12','2009-07-12 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-12 14:31:24',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,719,1,1),
(721,'2009-07-12','2009-07-12 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-12 14:31:43',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'It is increasingly the norm that Muffins turn out on a Sunday morning as a embarrassing 5-ball, and so it was for the mid-July fixture.  Fat-Boy nursing a sore head, and presumably other sore bits, after Guidos wedding and a night in a hotel .  Mr. Grumpy and Turbo celebrating Mrs. Grumpys most recent 21st birthday.\r\n\r\nMuffins were further hampered by the OGC Mixed Open, which necessitated Muffins playing the 6th and 7th twice, in lieu of 1st and 2nd.  No-one was quite sure if some Muffins were gaining and others were losing from this arrangement, however it did ensure that a full 18 were played.  It was the sort of last minute organisation, and dealing with the prevailing conditions, of which the USGA would be proud.\r\n\r\nSuch was the rush on the first tee, OGCs 6th, that teams were not drawn until after the hole had been completed.  Nance stepped in for the ball toss and chose to play with Cutie-Cutie, leaving DJ and Brett to worry themselves over Tates performance up the 6th.\r\n\r\nTate was not a happy camper, starting with a topped tee shot off the 1st for the first duck of the day – rumours of his early retirement before the game are now even more likely, and he is now threatening to be absent until mid-August and he hopes to find his game in the  period to then.\r\n\r\nBrett was even less happy, and the onset of a mid-round brain tumour did little to help his concentration.  Maybe he should have taken some branded pain-killers rather than the counterfeit rubbish he had in his bag – why didn\'t he take the advice of his friendly pharmaceutical wholesaler ?\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie ended up on top of the pile, with 33 points.  Nance and DJ only a short head behind.  DJs game of two halves was something Mr. Grumpy would have been proud of.  Nance and Cutie-Cutie take the match by an even shorter head.  The margin of ½ point was so small that Tate\'s scoring will come under some scrutiny, and several potential recounts.  Money has already changed however.',1,'','',200,719,1,1),
(722,'2009-07-12','2009-07-12 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-12 17:55:08',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,33,25,153,5,8,'It is increasingly the norm that Muffins turn out on a Sunday morning as a embarrassing 5-ball, and so it was for the mid-July fixture.  Fat-Boy nursing a sore head, and presumably other sore bits, after Guidos wedding and a night in a hotel .  Mr. Grumpy and Turbo celebrating Mrs. Grumpys most recent 21st birthday.\r\n\r\nMuffins were further hampered by the OGC Mixed Open, which necessitated Muffins playing the 6th and 7th twice, in lieu of 1st and 2nd.  No-one was quite sure if some Muffins were gaining and others were losing from this arrangement, however it did ensure that a full 18 were played.  It was the sort of last minute organisation, and dealing with the prevailing conditions, of which the USGA would be proud.\r\n\r\nSuch was the rush on the first tee, OGCs 6th, that teams were not drawn until after the hole had been completed.  Nance stepped in for the ball toss and chose to play with Cutie-Cutie, leaving DJ and Brett to worry themselves over Tates performance up the 6th.\r\n\r\nTate was not a happy camper, starting with a topped tee shot off the 1st for the first duck of the day – rumours of his early retirement before the game are now even more likely, and he is now threatening to be absent until mid-August and he hopes to find his game in the  period to then.\r\n\r\nBrett was even less happy, and the onset of a mid-round brain tumour did little to help his concentration.  Maybe he should have taken some branded pain-killers rather than the counterfeit rubbish he had in his bag – why didn\'t he take the advice of his friendly pharmaceutical wholesaler ?\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie ended up on top of the pile, with 33 points.  Nance and DJ only a short head behind.  DJs game of two halves was something Mr. Grumpy would have been proud of.  Nance and Cutie-Cutie take the match by an even shorter head.  The margin of ½ point was so small that Tate\'s scoring will come under some scrutiny, and several potential recounts.  Money has already changed hands however.',1,'','',200,719,1,1),
(723,'2009-07-12','2009-07-12 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-12 17:55:08',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,33,25,151,5,8,'It is increasingly the norm that Muffins turn out on a Sunday morning as a embarrassing 5-ball, and so it was for the mid-July fixture.  Fat-Boy nursing a sore head, and presumably other sore bits, after Guidos wedding and a night in a hotel .  Mr. Grumpy and Turbo celebrating Mrs. Grumpys most recent 21st birthday.\r\n\r\nMuffins were further hampered by the OGC Mixed Open, which necessitated Muffins playing the 6th and 7th twice, in lieu of 1st and 2nd.  No-one was quite sure if some Muffins were gaining and others were losing from this arrangement, however it did ensure that a full 18 were played.  It was the sort of last minute organisation, and dealing with the prevailing conditions, of which the USGA would be proud.\r\n\r\nSuch was the rush on the first tee, OGCs 6th, that teams were not drawn until after the hole had been completed.  Nance stepped in for the ball toss and chose to play with Cutie-Cutie, leaving DJ and Brett to worry themselves over Tates performance up the 6th.\r\n\r\nTate was not a happy camper, starting with a topped tee shot off the 1st for the first duck of the day – rumours of his early retirement before the game are now even more likely, and he is now threatening to be absent until mid-August and he hopes to find his game in the  period to then.\r\n\r\nBrett was even less happy, and the onset of a mid-round brain tumour did little to help his concentration.  Maybe he should have taken some branded pain-killers rather than the counterfeit rubbish he had in his bag – why didn\'t he take the advice of his friendly pharmaceutical wholesaler ?\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie ended up on top of the pile, with 33 points.  Nance and DJ only a short head behind.  DJs game of two halves was something Mr. Grumpy would have been proud of.  Nance and Cutie-Cutie take the match by an even shorter head.  The margin of ½ point was so small that Tate\'s scoring will come under some scrutiny, and several potential recounts.  Money has already changed hands however.',1,'','',200,719,1,1),
(724,'2009-07-19','2009-07-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-20 09:19:27',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,119,4,8,'Only 4 Muffins on Open Championship Sunday and there are fears for Nance\'s offspring who will be sent off to play in the traffic on their new bikes while Nance gives Turnberry his full attention. \r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy opines that as he and Tom Watson are the same age, had he bothered to enter the Open presumably he would have had just as much chance of winning it. (As it turns out Watson plays the extra 4 holes almost as badly as Mr. Grumpy would have played all 72).\r\n\r\nBrett partners Fat-Boy and Turbo pairs up with Mr. Grumpy and courtesy of numerous single putts by Mr. G, the higher handicappers nick the front 9. However, the wheels come off and they lose the back 9 and the match. Mr. Grumpy collects the camels to cement his position at the head of the fines table.\r\n\r\nThe Open Championship turns out to be a disappointment. From an overnight position whereby any of those players genuinely in contention would have been acceptable winners, they all bottle it to let in a desperately dull, God-bothering yank with a two-tone bonce and all the personality of a traffic cone. The R&A Championship Committee urgently needs some fresh blood on it to legislate against such eventualities.\r\n\r\nIt is hoped that next week results in a better turn out, although with Tate still in RSA and Nance being seduced to resign the Muffin franchise to appear in a regular fantabudozy 4 ball with Cathy Krankie, doubts remain.',1,'am-am 2009.jpg','3 x Muffins plus a Natal import, Marios, en route to picking up 3rd spot in the 2009 AM-AM.',200,0,0,1),
(725,'2009-07-19','2009-07-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-19 20:57:25',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,119,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,724,1,1),
(726,'2009-07-19','2009-07-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-19 20:57:25',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,119,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,724,1,1),
(727,'2009-07-19','2009-07-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-19 21:26:44',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,119,4,8,'Only 4 Muffins on Open Championship Sunday and there are fears for Nance\'s offspring who will be sent off to play in the traffic on their new bikes while Nance gives Turnberry his full attention. \r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy opines that as he and Tom Watson are the same age, had he bothered to enter the Open presumably he would have had just as much chance of winning it. (As it turns out Watson plays the extra 4 holes almost as badly as Mr. Grumpy would have played all 72).\r\n\r\nBrett partners Fat-Boy and Turbo pairs up with Mr. Grumpy and courtesy of numerous single putts by Mr. G, the higher handicappers nick the front 9. However, the wheels come off and they lose the back 9 and the match. Mr. Grumpy collects the camels to cement his position at the head of the fines table.\r\n\r\nThe Open Championship turns out to be a disappointment. From an overnight position whereby any of those players genuinely in contention would have been acceptable winners, they all bottle it to let in a desperately dull, God-bothering yank with a two-tone bonce and all the personality of a traffic cone. The R&A Championship Committee urgently needs some fresh blood on it to legislate against such eventualities.\r\n\r\nIt is hoped that next week results in a better turn out, although with Tate still in RSA and Nance being seduced to resign the Muffin franchise to appear in a regular fantabudozy 4 ball with Cathy Krankie, doubts remain.',1,'','',200,724,1,1),
(728,'2009-07-19','2009-07-19 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-20 09:17:24',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,119,4,8,'Only 4 Muffins on Open Championship Sunday and there are fears for Nance\'s offspring who will be sent off to play in the traffic on their new bikes while Nance gives Turnberry his full attention. \r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy opines that as he and Tom Watson are the same age, had he bothered to enter the Open presumably he would have had just as much chance of winning it. (As it turns out Watson plays the extra 4 holes almost as badly as Mr. Grumpy would have played all 72).\r\n\r\nBrett partners Fat-Boy and Turbo pairs up with Mr. Grumpy and courtesy of numerous single putts by Mr. G, the higher handicappers nick the front 9. However, the wheels come off and they lose the back 9 and the match. Mr. Grumpy collects the camels to cement his position at the head of the fines table.\r\n\r\nThe Open Championship turns out to be a disappointment. From an overnight position whereby any of those players genuinely in contention would have been acceptable winners, they all bottle it to let in a desperately dull, God-bothering yank with a two-tone bonce and all the personality of a traffic cone. The R&A Championship Committee urgently needs some fresh blood on it to legislate against such eventualities.\r\n\r\nIt is hoped that next week results in a better turn out, although with Tate still in RSA and Nance being seduced to resign the Muffin franchise to appear in a regular fantabudozy 4 ball with Cathy Krankie, doubts remain.',1,'am-am 2009.jpg','3 x Muffins plus a Natal import, Marios, en route to picking up 3rd sport in the 2009 AM-AM.',200,724,1,1),
(729,'2009-07-26','2009-07-26 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-26 21:35:39',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,15,172,6,8,'With Tate and DJ having apparently disappeared off the face of the earth it\'s a simple match of two 3-balls on a morning where the weather looks like turning nasty at any moment. Mr. Grumpy, Nance and Brett are in the vanguard and Mr. Grumpy\'s first hit is considerably better than that of the previous week in that it gets beyond the heather at the back of the yellow tee. Not much further though.\r\n\r\nNance is also showing signs of his exertions in the Club Championship the previous day whereby having signed for a leading nett 68 in the morning, the wheels come off at the 12th in the afternoon and he sacks his long-suffering caddy....again. Nonetheless Brett\'s steady play results in 35 team points at the sarnies, more than enough for a healthy lead as Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo visit all parts of the course. The most visited spot seems to be sand as they rack up 14 camels at halfway.\r\n\r\nBut as ever, it\'s a game of two halves and a significant rally by Fat-Boy and Cutie-Cutie see them win the back 9 and limit the team\'s exposure to only £2. Fat-Boy picks up 19 camels against which Brett\'s paltry 6 seems insignificant. For the 4th week running Mr. Grumpy picks up an OOB on the 16th - it\'s just like the old days and the less said about Turbo\'s day the better.\r\n\r\nMr Steady Eddy Brett claims the individual 10 points with a useful 35 points.\r\n\r\nNext week is likely to be a farce as owing to a holiday, Brett has excused himself from secretarial duties. Mr. Grumpy favours a 7:00am start so he can get to the Test Match and the virtual Tate and DJ\'s availability is unknown. Watch this space.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(730,'2009-07-26','2009-07-26 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-26 21:06:58',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,15,172,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,729,1,1),
(731,'2009-07-26','2009-07-26 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-26 21:06:58',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,15,172,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,729,1,1),
(732,'2009-07-26','2009-07-26 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-07-26 21:06:58',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,15,172,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,729,1,1),
(733,'2009-08-02','2009-08-02 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-02 23:22:13',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,32,21,137,5,8,'It\'s the Sunday of the Ashes Test at Edgbaston and amid all the rain that\'s trying to spare Australia another humiliation, there\'s a single dry day. There\'s no Cutie-Cutie, Tate seems to have been in South Africa longer than Mandela and Brett is on a camping holday in somewhere called Mablethorpe that sounds like it\'s twinned with Chernobyl.\r\n\r\nSo it\'s an awkward 5-ball on the 6th tee that Fat-Boy segregates into himself, Nance and DJ versus Turbo and Mr. Grumpy - not a productive pairing as it transpires.\r\n\r\nDJ is not a happy bunny. In monsoon conditions on the previous day he\'s carded a nett 65 in the Div 1a-1b Medal only to find that it\'s been declared non-qualifying as he walks from the 18th green. He doesn\'t even collect a ball for his 2! Apparently the ruling comes from the Chairman of Green\'s, a Mr Ian Phipps, who\'s had a crap score.\r\n\r\nAnd talking of crap score that\'s exactly what Turbo and Mr. Grumpy deliver to lose comprehensively and hand over £4 each. The only light relief is provided by Fat-Boy who bends over to inspect some suspected fox shit on the 14th tee only to rip his trousers open from front to back. It\'s a well known fact that Fat-Boy\'s arse crack is not included in the popular publication \"1001 Things to See Before You Die\" - but no one is spared.\r\n\r\nNance picks up 19 camels.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(734,'2009-08-02','2009-08-02 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-02 14:21:10',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,32,21,135,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,733,1,1),
(735,'2009-08-02','2009-08-02 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-02 14:21:10',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,32,21,137,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,733,1,1),
(736,'2009-08-02','2009-08-02 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-02 14:21:10',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,32,21,137,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,733,1,1),
(737,'2009-08-09','2009-08-09 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-09 21:45:42',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,226,7,8,'No Tate AGAIN! Apparently he\'s flown in from RSA this very morning but has failed to arrive at OGC on time so 7 1/2 Muffins assemble which is contary to the 6 predicted by Brett. Cutie-Cutie has spent Saturday dicking about with his SIM card so hasn\'t responded to Brett, but he has responded to DJ - who in turn hasn\'t forwarded the message to Brett. \r\n\r\nAll concerned are very lucky to escape financial censure.\r\n\r\nThe half Muffin is Elliot Nance who is caddying for his Dad and distinguishes himself firstly by finding Mr. Genial\'s ball in the rough up the 1st fairway and then back-chatting to his employer all the way round in the manner originally established by Fat-Boy.\r\n\r\nThe ball-toss is not without controversy. For the first time ever Fat-Boy manages to achieve a clear and unequivocal 3 ball - 4 ball split and then ruins it by outrageously kicking one ball from one group to the other! It\'s a total farce but when the furore dies down, he sets off in the company of Cutie-Cutie and DJ.\r\n\r\nAt half-way, it\'s a narrow lead for the 4-ball which is stretched to a 3 point victory overall and £4 thank you very much (Elliot Nance - 10% = 40p). DJ\'s disappointment is tempered by a personal 37 points and an individual win just 2 points in front of Mr. Genial who hoicks himself out of the previous month\'s mediocrity. However, an OOB, a Duck and 6 Camels do little to reduce his lead at the head of the fines table. Emmigration is likely to be his only saviour. \r\n\r\nMind you............Tate\'s back next week.........\r\n\r\nPS Check out new pics in the Gallery - Mr. G\'s Back Garden',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(738,'2009-08-09','2009-08-09 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-09 16:36:24',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,226,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,737,1,1),
(739,'2009-08-09','2009-08-09 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-09 16:36:24',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,226,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,737,1,1),
(740,'2009-08-09','2009-08-09 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-09 16:36:24',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,226,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,737,1,1),
(741,'2009-08-09','2009-08-09 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-09 21:04:02',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,226,7,8,'No Tate AGAIN! Apparently he\'s flown in from RSA this very morning but has failed to arrive at OGC on time so 7 1/2 Muffins assemble - contary to the 6 predicted by Brett. Cutie-Cutie has spent Saturday dicking about with his SIM card so hasn\'t responded to Brett, but has responded to DJ - who in turn hasn\'t forwarded the message to Brett. \r\n\r\nAll concerned are very lucky to escape financial censure.\r\n\r\nThe half Muffin is Elliot Nance who is caddying for his Dad and distinguishes himself firstly by finding Mr. Genial\'s ball in the rough up the 1st fairway and then back-chatting to his employer all the way round in the manner originally recommended by Fat-Boy.\r\n\r\nThe ball-toss is not without controversy. For the first time ever Fat-Boy manages to achieve a clear and unequivocal 3 ball - 4 ball split and then ruins it by outrageously kicking one ball from one group to the other! It\'s a total farce but when the furore dies down, he sets off in the company of Cutie-Cutie and DJ.\r\n\r\nAt half-way, it\'s a narrow lead for the 4-ball which is stretched to a 3 point victory overall and £4 thank you very much (Elliot Nance - 40p). DJ\'s disppointment is tempered by 37 points and an individual win 2 points in front of Mr. Genial who hoicks himself out of the previous month\'s mediocrity. However, an OOB, a Duck and 6 Camels do little to reduce his lead at the head of the fines table. Emmigration is likely to be his only saviour. \r\n\r\nMind you............Tate\'s back next week.........',1,'','',200,737,1,1),
(742,'2009-08-09','2009-08-09 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-09 21:07:41',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,226,7,8,'No Tate AGAIN! Apparently he\'s flown in from RSA this very morning but has failed to arrive at OGC on time so 7 1/2 Muffins assemble which is contary to the 6 predicted by Brett. Cutie-Cutie has spent Saturday dicking about with his SIM card so hasn\'t responded to Brett, but he has responded to DJ - who in turn hasn\'t forwarded the message to Brett. \r\n\r\nAll concerned are very lucky to escape financial censure.\r\n\r\nThe half Muffin is Elliot Nance who is caddying for his Dad and distinguishes himself firstly by finding Mr. Genial\'s ball in the rough up the 1st fairway and then back-chatting to his employer all the way round in the manner originally established by Fat-Boy.\r\n\r\nThe ball-toss is not without controversy. For the first time ever Fat-Boy manages to achieve a clear and unequivocal 3 ball - 4 ball split and then ruins it by outrageously kicking one ball from one group to the other! It\'s a total farce but when the furore dies down, he sets off in the company of Cutie-Cutie and DJ.\r\n\r\nAt half-way, it\'s a narrow lead for the 4-ball which is stretched to a 3 point victory overall and £4 thank you very much (Elliot Nance - 10% = 40p). DJ\'s disappointment is tempered by a personal 37 points and an individual win just 2 points in front of Mr. Genial who hoicks himself out of the previous month\'s mediocrity. However, an OOB, a Duck and 6 Camels do little to reduce his lead at the head of the fines table. Emmigration is likely to be his only saviour. \r\n\r\nMind you............Tate\'s back next week.........',1,'','',200,737,1,1),
(743,'2009-08-16','2009-08-16 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-18 10:40:29',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,25,245,8,8,'Regular Muffins will have recognised that tee-off times are now subject to Mr. Grumpy\'s luncheon arrangements and this week was no exception with an 8am tee time being dictated. The lack of Cutie-Cutie was compensated by a rare appearance from Big-Dave. \r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy, Big-Dave, Turbo and Fat-Boy (I\'ve lost 5lbs) scurried to the 1st tee and managed to compile about 60 points at half way which, when subjected to the arcane 17/24ths calculation, proved enough for a healthy lead.\r\n\r\nOGC is somewhat shorter than Hazletine and Big Dave was having difficulty finding clubs with sufficient loft to stay within the course. On the 1st he plays driver - 9 iron. His drive on the 11th into the wind finds the dog-leg fairway bunker. A drive - albeit wind assisted - settles 10 yards short of the furthest fairway bunker on the 14th and again, into the wind he finishes 5 yards short of the newish right hand fairway bunker on the 18th - with a fade! It\'s a different game.\r\n\r\nTalking of fades, that\'s exactly what the front 4-ball do on the back 9 to lose the second half and the match. Nance takes the individual honours - and the camels, as does Fat-Boy.\r\n\r\nIt\'s somewaht ironic that having stayed totally fine-free for the first week in living memory, Mr. Grumpy has to stump up £2 for Big-Dave\'s Duck and OOB. He\'ll also owe someone his and Big-Dave\'s £2.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(744,'2009-08-16','2009-08-16 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-16 17:24:50',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,25,241,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,743,1,1),
(745,'2009-08-16','2009-08-16 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-16 17:24:50',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,25,241,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,743,1,1),
(746,'2009-08-16','2009-08-16 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-16 17:24:50',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,25,245,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,743,1,1),
(747,'2009-08-16','2009-08-16 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-16 17:24:50',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,25,245,8,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,743,1,1),
(748,'2009-08-16','2009-08-16 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-18 10:34:35',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,25,245,8,8,'Regular Muffins will have recognised that tee-off times are now subject to Mr. Grumpy\'s luncheon arrangements and this week was no exception with an 8am tee time being dictated. The lack of Cutie-Cutie was compensated by a rare appearance from Big-Dave. \r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy, Big-Dave, Turbo and Fat-Boy (I\'ve lost 5lbs) scurried to the 1st tee and managed to compile about 60 points at half way which, when subjected to the arcane 17/24ths calculation, proved enough for a healthy lead.\r\n\r\nOGC is somewhat shorter than Hazletine and Big Dave was having difficulty finding clubs with sufficient loft to stay within the course. On the 1st he plays driver - 9 iron. His drive on the 11th into the wind finds the dog-leg fairway bunker. A drive - albeit wind assisted - settles 10 yards short of the furthest fairway bunker on the 14th and again, into the wind he finishes 5 yards short of the newish right hand fairway bunker on the 18th - with a fade! It\'s a different game.\r\n\r\nTalking of fades, that\'s exactly what the front 4-ball do on the back 9 to lose the second half and the match. ',1,'','',200,743,1,1),
(749,'2009-08-23','2009-08-23 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-24 20:37:19',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,19,134,5,8,'With Turbo in Italy and Fat-Boy and Nance accepting the Captain-Pro Challenge the result is another awkward five-ball, but the course is quiet so there are no embarassing moments. Brett takes the tossing duties and in a replay of Fat-Boy\'s football skills of two weeks ago, tries to turn an obvious 2-ball, 3-ball split into something else. In the event it\'s Cutie-Cutie and DJ vs the Rest.\r\n\r\nThe weather is warm, the course in great condition so everything\'s set up nicely for low scoring, but no-one tells the Muffins and it\'s a distinctly average day at the office. DJ and Cutie-Cutie take the front 9 by a 4 point margin and with the back 9 halved (courtesy of a downhill 20 footer on the 18th from DJ), also take the £3.\r\n\r\nThere are no OOBs, but Tate comes the closest by throwing his wedge into the brambles left of the 14th green from beyond the right hand side bunker. No OOBs maybe, but a camel-fest with Mr. Grumpy (13) and DJ (7) stepping up to the plate.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy notches a 10 pointer, but once again his joy is muted by a match loss, the camels and a handicap cut. \r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(750,'2009-08-23','2009-08-23 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-23 17:08:20',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,19,134,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,749,1,1),
(751,'2009-08-23','2009-08-23 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-23 17:08:20',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,19,134,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,749,1,1),
(752,'2009-08-23','2009-08-23 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-23 20:14:13',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,19,134,5,8,'With Turbo in Italy and Fat-Boy and Nance accepting the Captain-Pro Challenge the result is another awkward five-ball, but the course is quiet so there are no embarassing moments. Brett takes the tossing duties and in a replay of Fat-Boy\'s football skills of two weeks ago, tries to turn an obvious 2-ball, 3-ball split into something else. In the event it\'s Cutie-Cutie and DJ vs the Rest.\r\n\r\nThe weather is warm, the course in great condition so everything\'s set up nicely for low scoring, but no-one tells the Muffins and it\'s a distinctly average day at the office. DJ and Cutie-Cutie take the front 9 by a 4 point margin and with the back 9 halved (courtesy of a downhill 20 footer on the 18th from DJ), also take the £3.\r\n\r\nThere are no OOBs, but Tate comes the closest by throwing his wedge into the brambles left of the 14th green from beyond the right hand side bunker. No OOBs maybe, but a camel-fest with Mr. Grumpy (13) and DJ (7) stepping up to the plate.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy notches a 10 pointer, but once again his joy is muted by a match loss, the camels and a handicap cut. \r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,749,1,1),
(753,'2009-08-23','2009-08-23 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-23 23:20:57',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,19,134,5,8,'With Turbo in Italy and Fat-Boy and Nance accepting the Captain-Pro Challenge the result is another awkward five-ball, but the course is quiet so there are no embarassing moments. Brett takes the tossing duties and in a replay of Fat-Boy\'s football skills of two weeks ago, tries to turn an obvious 2-ball, 3-ball split into something else. In the event it\'s Cutie-Cutie and DJ vs the Rest.\r\n\r\nThe weather is warm, the course in great condition so everything\'s set up nicely for low scoring, but no-one tells the Muffins and it\'s a distinctly average day at the office. DJ and Cutie-Cutie take the front 9 by a 4 point margin and with the back 9 halved (courtesy of a downhill 20 footer on the 18th from DJ), also take the £3.\r\n\r\nThere are no OOBs, but Tate comes the closest by throwing his wedge into the brambles left of the 14th green from beyond the right hand side bunker. No OOBs maybe, but a camel-fest with Mr. Grumpy (13) and Cutie-Cutie (7) stepping up to the plate.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy notches a 10 pointer, but once again his joy is muted by a match loss, the camels and a handicap cut. \r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,749,1,1),
(754,'2009-08-23','2009-08-23 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-23 23:20:57',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,19,134,5,8,'With Turbo in Italy and Fat-Boy and Nance accepting the Captain-Pro Challenge the result is another awkward five-ball, but the course is quiet so there are no embarassing moments. Brett takes the tossing duties and in a replay of Fat-Boy\'s football skills of two weeks ago, tries to turn an obvious 2-ball, 3-ball split into something else. In the event it\'s Cutie-Cutie and DJ vs the Rest.\r\n\r\nThe weather is warm, the course in great condition so everything\'s set up nicely for low scoring, but no-one tells the Muffins and it\'s a distinctly average day at the office. DJ and Cutie-Cutie take the front 9 by a 4 point margin and with the back 9 halved (courtesy of a downhill 20 footer on the 18th from DJ), also take the £3.\r\n\r\nThere are no OOBs, but Tate comes the closest by throwing his wedge into the brambles left of the 14th green from beyond the right hand side bunker. No OOBs maybe, but a camel-fest with Mr. Grumpy (13) and Cutie-Cutie (7) stepping up to the plate.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy notches a 10 pointer, but once again his joy is muted by a match loss, the camels and a handicap cut. \r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,749,1,1),
(755,'2009-08-30','2009-08-30 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-01 16:09:10',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,18,141,5,8,'No Brett, no Cutie-Cutie and Fat-Boy decides to play with some other mates so it\'s another - traditional - five ball that scurries of to the 6th tee. DJ manages a clean 2 ball/3 ball split (it\'s not that hard) that pairs himself with Tate which turns out to be an inspired move.\r\n\r\nRegular readers of this column will be familiar with the scenario where Mr. Grumpy shoots something in the high thirties, but loses the match and £4, collects the camels and a couple of OOBs and cops for a handicap cut.\r\n\r\nTate offers a new slant on this. He shoots only 18 points including 8 blobs and 5 OOBs, but somehow knits together with DJ such that they win both nines, the match and collect so much cash off Mr. Grumpy, Turbo and Nance that he finishes up fiscally advantaged. Not only that but he gets a plus 2.2 to his handicap which now stands at 26.\r\n\r\nAll thoughts of retirement should be shelved immediately.\r\n\r\nElsewhere Fat-Boy in the company of Andy Brooks gets stuffed, which will have cost him money.\r\n\r\nOne wonders whether the first Sunday of September will result in a Muffin full house - or will Summer 4 Balls intervene. On other matters an audit of the cash in Mr. Grumpy\'s safe reveals a mere £4 deficit against the computer prediction which is slightly better than the Chancellor of the Exchequer\'s position.\r\n\r\nMATCH REPORT SUPPLEMENTAL\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie sends a strongly worded memo to the writer/treasurer saying that he only owes £1 for an OWL, the 7 camels having been paid. The deficit is thus £5.75p.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(756,'2009-08-30','2009-08-30 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-30 21:03:07',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,18,142,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,755,1,1),
(757,'2009-08-30','2009-08-30 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-30 21:03:07',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,18,141,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,755,1,1),
(758,'2009-08-30','2009-08-30 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-08-30 21:03:07',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,18,141,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,755,1,1),
(759,'2009-08-30','2009-08-30 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-01 09:46:56',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,18,141,5,8,'No Brett, no Cutie-Cutie and Fat-Boy decides to play with some other mates so it\'s another - traditional - five ball that scurries of to the 6th tee. DJ manages a clean 2 ball/3 ball split (it\'s not hard) that pairs himself with Tate which turns out to be an inspired move.\r\n\r\nNow regular readers of this column will be familiar with the scenario where Mr. Grumpy shoots something in the high thirties, loses the match and £4, collects the camels and a couple of OOBs and cops for a handicap cut.',1,'','',200,755,1,1),
(760,'2009-08-30','2009-08-30 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-01 09:55:51',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,18,141,5,8,'No Brett, no Cutie-Cutie and Fat-Boy decides to play with some other mates so it\'s another - traditional - five ball that scurries of to the 6th tee. DJ manages a clean 2 ball/3 ball split (it\'s not that hard) that pairs himself with Tate which turns out to be an inspired move.\r\n\r\nRegular readers of this column will be familiar with the scenario where Mr. Grumpy shoots something in the high thirties, but loses the match and £4, collects the camels and a couple of OOBs and cops for a handicap cut.\r\n\r\nTate offers a new slant on this. He shoots only 18 points including 8 blobs and 5 OOBs, but somehow knits together with DJ such that they win both nines, the match and collect so much cash off Mr. Grumpy, Turbo and Nance that he finishes up fiscally advantaged. Not only that but he gets a plus 2.2 to his handicap which now stands at 26.\r\n\r\nAll thoughts of retirement should be shelved immediately.\r\n\r\nElsewhere Fat-Boy in the company of Andy Brooks gets stuffed, which will have cost him money.\r\n\r\nOne wonders whether the first Sunday of September will result in a Muffin full house - or will Summer 4 Balls intervene.',1,'','',200,755,1,1),
(761,'2009-08-30','2009-08-30 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-01 10:01:24',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,18,141,5,8,'No Brett, no Cutie-Cutie and Fat-Boy decides to play with some other mates so it\'s another - traditional - five ball that scurries of to the 6th tee. DJ manages a clean 2 ball/3 ball split (it\'s not that hard) that pairs himself with Tate which turns out to be an inspired move.\r\n\r\nRegular readers of this column will be familiar with the scenario where Mr. Grumpy shoots something in the high thirties, but loses the match and £4, collects the camels and a couple of OOBs and cops for a handicap cut.\r\n\r\nTate offers a new slant on this. He shoots only 18 points including 8 blobs and 5 OOBs, but somehow knits together with DJ such that they win both nines, the match and collect so much cash off Mr. Grumpy, Turbo and Nance that he finishes up fiscally advantaged. Not only that but he gets a plus 2.2 to his handicap which now stands at 26.\r\n\r\nAll thoughts of retirement should be shelved immediately.\r\n\r\nElsewhere Fat-Boy in the company of Andy Brooks gets stuffed, which will have cost him money.\r\n\r\nOne wonders whether the first Sunday of September will result in a Muffin full house - or will Summer 4 Balls intervene. On other matters an audit of the cash in Mr. Grumpy\'s safe reveals a mere £4 deficit against the computer prediction which is slightly better than the Chancellor of the Exchequer\'s position.',1,'','',200,755,1,1),
(762,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 08:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-05-10 16:47:09',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,33,26,182,6,8,'A recurrent feature when, on the odd occasion, Nance organises a tour is his supposed influence over the weather. This is an urban myth. Thus the first morning of the tour proper (excluding the illicit practice by Nance, DJ and Tate on the day before) opens in pissing rain which appears to be set in for the day. In the event, it rains in patches and tries to clear later, but the omens for the unbroken sunshine enjoyed by the Mr. Grumpy-organised tours are not good.\r\n\r\nThe journey up to Dundee the previous day has been uneventful, but Big-Dave has filled Mr. Grumpy\'s car with enough bottled water, fruit drinks, Cadbury\'s mini-rolls, muesli bars and flapjacks to keep a small army fed leaving Fat-Boy to be compressed into the smallest space he\'s seen sinec the womb. Whilst doing so Tate, DJ and Nance are sampling the delights of the Old Course where, perhaps uniquely, Nance tries to play it with two contact lenses in the same eye. A dob into the Swilken Burn off the 18th tee is one of many chuckle-worthy moments that has Old Tom Morris turning in his grave.\r\n\r\nHowever, at Downfield on Day One proper Big-Dave makes a welcome maiden appearance and smashes one straight up the middle of 1st hole in the company of Tate and the Fat-Boy. Let the fun begin! \r\n\r\nIn the event the \"locals\" view that it will clear up later is proved correct and the now monocular Nance takes the individual honours and the team performance in the company of Mr. Grumpy and DJ. On the 18th DJ has a bit of bunker trouble racking up at least 3 in the greenside trap taking an early camel lead for the tour that he never once looks like relinquishing.\r\n\r\nA soup and sandwich lunch is blissfully free of either tomaotoes or coronation chicken.\r\n\r\n\r\n ',1,'picture 024.jpg','Mr. Grumpy gets dressed up to celebrate Wolves promotion!',200,635,1,1),
(763,'2009-04-30','2009-04-30 14:00:00',8,31,136,136,'','2009-05-07 19:12:19',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,28,189,6,14,'Suitably refreshed, the balls are re-tossed and this time it\'s Tate, DJ (both in a buggy) and Big-Dave vs the Muffin Originals. It\'s cold but not too wet and now three lead 3 know where they\'re going scoring improves to the extent that Tate returns with 37 points, 5 better than anyone else for a useful Day One lead in the quest for the Tour Trophy. \r\n\r\nThere\'s controversy on the 18th where Nance, having hit what he considers the perfect faded drive around the trees is stunned to find his ball all but stuck in the remains of a 12th century stone wall in the middle of the woods. This is no surprise to Fat-Boy and Mr. Grumpy who are dis-inclined to give him the free drop he demands as his right. The R&A Rule book and the local rules on the scorecard are consulted without a definitive answer. Expect to see the excavation of the wall on next year\'s Time Team.\r\n\r\nDuring the round the important news concerning the ballot for the Old Course is received (by carrier pigeon obviously as no-one would consider carrying a mobile phone onto the course). It\'s mixed news - only one tee-time so Tate, DJ and Nance having already sampled its delights, step down in favour of a round on the new St Andrews Castle Course. Tate, DJ and Big-Dave clean up the £4 which goes towards a dodgy Chinese and several beers in The Fisherman\'s.',1,'','',200,637,1,1),
(764,'2009-05-01','2009-05-01 12:00:00',8,178,149,149,'','2009-05-07 19:21:38',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,27,21,72,3,12,'As your correspondent was not present at the Castle Course it\'s impossible to produce 1st-hand evidence of the goings-on. Suffice it to say that the 3 who did play it, Nance, DJ and Tate, on returning to the haven of the Jigger Inn alongside the 17th fairway of the Old Course, exhibited a somewhat haunted look. It would appear to present a number of challenges they were not equal to, difficulties that were not diminished by the unkind weather. If they are to be believed, any stableford points whatsoever were a bonus and it\'s not a venue that will feature highly on any subsequent priority list.\r\n\r\n\'Nuff said.',1,'','',200,638,1,1),
(765,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:47:26',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the \"Four Musketeers\", but in reality turn out to be \"Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges\". DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of verbal self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet once again loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be richer playing like a prat.\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS.\r\n\"Shot of the Day\" comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, exclaims loudly, then putts it again whilst still in motion - past the flag and off the green.\r\nPS, the mystery butterfly on the 16th tee was a \"Speckled Wood\".',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(766,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-06 18:00:05',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(767,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-06 18:00:05',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(768,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-06 20:11:25',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\n\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the Four Musketeers, but in reality turn out to be Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges. DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be wealthier playing like a prat.\r\n\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS. \r\n\r\nShot of the Day comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, laughs and then hits it whilst in motion off the green past the flag.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(769,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-06 20:11:25',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\n\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the Four Musketeers, but in reality turn out to be Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges. DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be wealthier playing like a prat.\r\n\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS. \r\n\r\nShot of the Day comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, laughs and then hits it whilst in motion off the green past the flag.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(770,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-06 20:21:17',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\n\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the \"Four Musketeers\", but in reality turn out to be \"Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges\". DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet once again loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be richer playing like a prat.\r\n\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS. \r\n\r\n\"Shot of the Day\" comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, exclaims then putts it again whilst still in motion - past the flag and off the green.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(771,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-06 21:10:27',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\n\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the \"Four Musketeers\", but in reality turn out to be \"Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges\". DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet once again loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be richer playing like a prat.\r\n\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS. \r\n\r\n\"Shot of the Day\" comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, exclaims then putts it again whilst still in motion - past the flag and off the green.\r\n\r\nPS, the mystery butterfly on the 16th tee was a \"Speckled Wood\".\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(772,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-07 09:50:50',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\n\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the \"Four Musketeers\", but in reality turn out to be \"Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges\". DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of verbal self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet once again loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be richer playing like a prat.\r\n\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS. \r\n\r\n\"Shot of the Day\" comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, exclaims loudly, then putts it again whilst still in motion - past the flag and off the green.\r\n\r\nPS, the mystery butterfly on the 16th tee was a \"Speckled Wood\".\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(773,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-14 19:18:11',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nAnd as if to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs, Camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to which Mr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(774,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 17:51:03',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,26,154,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(775,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 17:51:03',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(776,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 17:51:03',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(777,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:21:41',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\n\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\n\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\n\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\n\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to which Mr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(778,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:22:30',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\n\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\n\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\n\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\n\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to which Mr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(779,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 17:49:14',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\n\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the \"Four Musketeers\", but in reality turn out to be \"Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges\". DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of verbal self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet once again loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be richer playing like a prat.\r\n\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS. \r\n\r\n\"Shot of the Day\" comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, exclaims loudly, then putts it again whilst still in motion - past the flag and off the green.\r\n\r\nPS, the mystery butterfly on the 16th tee was a \"Speckled Wood\".\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(780,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:37:18',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to whichMr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(781,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:37:37',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the \"Four Musketeers\", but in reality turn out to be \"Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges\". DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of verbal self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet once again loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be richer playing like a prat.\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS.\r\n\"Shot of the Day\" comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, exclaims loudly, then putts it again whilst still in motion - past the flag and off the green.\r\nPS, the mystery butterfly on the 16th tee was a \"Speckled Wood\".',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(782,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:36:40',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\n\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\n\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\n\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\n\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to which Mr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(783,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:39:32',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to whichMr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(784,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:43:21',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to whichMr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(785,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:43:35',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to whichMr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(786,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:40:00',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the \"Four Musketeers\", but in reality turn out to be \"Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges\". DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of verbal self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet once again loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be richer playing like a prat.\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS.\r\n\"Shot of the Day\" comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, exclaims loudly, then putts it again whilst still in motion - past the flag and off the green.\r\nPS, the mystery butterfly on the 16th tee was a \"Speckled Wood\".',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(787,'2009-09-07','2009-09-07 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:44:08',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to whichMr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(788,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:44:18',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the \"Four Musketeers\", but in reality turn out to be \"Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges\". DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of verbal self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet once again loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be richer playing like a prat.\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS.\r\n\"Shot of the Day\" comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, exclaims loudly, then putts it again whilst still in motion - past the flag and off the green.\r\nPS, the mystery butterfly on the 16th tee was a \"Speckled Wood\".',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(789,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:44:30',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to whichMr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(790,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:45:19',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'A better turn out for the first Sunday in September with only Nance absent in Spain. Fat-Boy contrives a non-controversial toss and Brett, Turbo and Tate set off from the 3rd tee whilst DJ, Fat-Boy, Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy head for the 1st.\r\nThe 4-ball have the potential to be the \"Four Musketeers\", but in reality turn out to be \"Mr. Grumpy and the Three Stooges\". DJ can\'t hit his hat, Cutie-Cutie embarks on episodes of verbal self-abuse that would have had Tate blushing and Fat-Boy\'s loss of weight has seemingly sapped his strength. Thus in fulfillment of a prediction made at the half-way hut, Mr. Grumpy wins the individual honours by a considerable margin yet once again loses the match, a couple of quid and gets cut by 1.5 for his trouble. We don\'t think Dr Frank Stableford had this sort of outcome in mind and maybe Mr. Grumpy, like Tate the previous week, would be richer playing like a prat.\r\nOn the plus side it\'s a bumper day on the fines front with £15.25 in the Walter courtesy of 4 OOBs, 3 Ducks and 25 Camels plus retrospective OWLS.\r\n\"Shot of the Day\" comes from Cutie-Cutie who sets himself up for a putt on the 4th green, nudges the ball into a roll with his forward press, exclaims loudly, then putts it again whilst still in motion - past the flag and off the green.\r\nPS, the mystery butterfly on the 16th tee was a \"Speckled Wood\".',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(791,'2009-09-06','2009-09-06 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:45:52',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,16,199,7,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to whichMr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,765,1,1),
(792,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-13 18:46:49',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nIf to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to whichMr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(793,'2009-09-13','2009-09-13 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-14 19:15:15',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,26,153,5,8,'The standard 5-ball and for reasons of a christening that Brett has to attend, it\'s a 7:45am start. A quick calculation discovers that a 6th tee start will get the boys to the half-way hut before Lawrence and Helen, so they start at the 3rd. Fat-Boy throws up 5 balls and then in a manoeuvre Darren Brown would have been proud of, says that none of them are his. Anyway, he partners Brett leaving Mr. Grumpy, Tate and Turbo to comprise the 3-ball that never wins.\r\nAnd as if to prove this maxim as early as possible, Tate hits his own bag with a nobbled tee shot and collects a two shot penalty.\r\nIn the event, Mr. Grumpy is on song again and ably supported by Turbo, the 3-ball win both nines and the match. It\'s another difficult morning for Fat-Boy and Tate who rack up OOBs, Camels and a Duck sufficient to swell the kitty by £9. Fat-Boy is not looking forward to the Monday Medal.\r\nMr. Genial takes the 10 points for the second week in a row.\r\nAOB. The Hon. Secretary of the Warwickshire Union of Golf Clubs has been in touch to ask when it might be convenient for them to organise the Muffins Annual Dinner to whichMr. Grumpy has replied \"Friday 27th November\". Please add this date to your diaries.',1,'','',200,773,1,1),
(794,'2009-09-20','2009-09-20 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-20 19:21:52',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,40,26,218,7,8,'DJ\'s back is playing up so it\'s just the seven Muffins on another glorious Autumn morning. Another non-controversial toss sees Fat-Boy Slim, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo head out with Brett, Nance, Mr. Grumpy and Tate to bring up the rear.\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie decides he doesn\'t fancy the first fairway, so tacks up the 18th, but then changes his mind and decides to play the 1st in the reverse direction on the 2nd. A two-blob start is the result. Tate murders the 1st for a 4 pointer, a feat he repeats on the 9th hole for another 4 pointer, but an outward 9 total of 16 tells its own story.\r\n\r\nBrett de-ducks on the 2nd, Turbo also ducks on the front 9 and Fat-Boy, trying to be helpful, tries to scoop it out but succeeds only in plastering Cutie-Cutie with pond weed. Fat-Boy and Cutie-Cutie are then both in the trees on the 8th whereby Fat-Boy spots some mistletoe. Cutie-Cutie declines a snog.\r\n\r\nTate duck-hooks his drive for an OOB on the 11th and a shout of F**K OFF IAN! has the residents of several near-by houses sitting up in bed - and from there, it goes downhill.\r\n\r\nMatch-wise it\'s a straightforward £4 for the 4-ball with Brett sweeping all before him for 40 stableford points and a max ten on the Muffin scale. Tate and Turbo stick in enough fines money for a couple of main courses with garlic naan\'s and Bombay potatoes.\r\n\r\nAnyone wanting a Callaway square driver should apply to Mr Taylor - but very quickly should they prefer it all in one piece.\r\n\r\nReminder - The Muffin Annual Dinner will be on Friday 27th November. Copt Heath GC and Black Tie as usual. Anyone NOT available, please text Mr. Grumpy asap.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(795,'2009-09-20','2009-09-20 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-20 18:49:49',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,40,26,218,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,794,1,1),
(796,'2009-09-20','2009-09-20 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-20 18:49:49',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,40,26,218,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,794,1,1),
(797,'2009-09-20','2009-09-20 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-20 19:16:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,40,26,218,7,8,'DJ\'s back is playing up so it\'s just the seven Muffins on another glorious Autumn morning. Another non-controversial toss sees Fat-Boy Slim, Cutie-Cuitie and Turbo head out with Brett, Nance, Mr. Grumpy and Tate to bring up the rear.\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie decides he doesn\'t fancy the first fairway, so tacks up the 18th but then changes his mind and decides to play the 1st in the reverse direction on the 2nd. A two-blob start is the result. Tate murders the 1st for a 4 pointer, a feat he repeats on the 9th for another 4 pointer, but an outward 9 total of 16 tells its\' own story.\r\n\r\nBrett de-ducks on the 2nd, Turbo also ducks on the front 9 and Fat-Boy, trying to be helpful, tries to scoop it out but succeeds only in plastering Cutie-Cutie with pond weed. Fat-Boy and Cutie-Cutie are then both in the trees on the 8th whereby Fat-Boy spots some mistletoe. Cutie-Cutie declines a snog.\r\n\r\nTate duck-hooks his drive for an OOB on the 11th and a shout of F**K OFF IAN! has the residents of several near-by houses sitting up in bed - and from there, it goes downhill.\r\n\r\nMatch-wise it\'s a straightforward £4 for the 4-ball with Brett sweeping all before him for 40 stableford points and a max ten on the Muffin scale. Tate and Turbo stick in enough fines money for a couple of main courses with garlic naan\'s and Bombay potatoes.\r\n\r\nAnyone wanting a Callaway square driver should apply to Mr Taylor - but very quickly should they prefer it all in one piece.',1,'','',200,794,1,1),
(798,'2009-09-27','2009-09-27 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-27 15:09:02',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,25,121,4,8,'Absentees a-plenty for the last match in September, reducing the combatants to a traditional 4-ball.  Fat-Boys toss was subject to increased scrutiny, although his first attempt was deemed legitimate by the assembled Muffins.  Fat-Boy had decided to play with Turbo, a decision which turned out to be inspired, though no-one expected the burden which Turbo was going have to bear throughout the next 18 holes.  Nance and Brett thought they were quids in from early doors.  How wrong they were going to prove to be.\r\nAt the turn, Fat-Boy had worked hard to accumulate 9 points.  He was clearly missing some of the absentee Muffins, and from time to time, he came out in sympathy.  His demeanour was often like that of Mr. Grumpy, he used alternative fairways like Cutie-Cutie, he was considering retirement like Tate and the DJ-like duck-hooks were a pleasure to watch.  Fat-Boy couldn’t hit his hat, and the break for the butties was a light relief and a surprise to find he was only 3 points down – Turbos shoulders were proving to be up to the task.\r\nThe back 9 promised a little better, and Fat-Boy seemed to have pulled his game together for 10, 11 and 12.  The wheels came off again on 13 with a tee shot to the wrong green, some 30 degrees off target.  Against all odds, Fat-Boy contributed more to the team effort on the back 9 than his playing partner, and together they came up trumps, taking the back 9 and the match.  Brett and Nance still couldn’t quite work out how.\r\nNance takes the individual honours with a decent 36 points.  Fat-Boys continuation to the extras fund was not insignificant with a boob to add to his 14 camels.  ',1,'fat-boy route to 13th.jpg','Fat-Boys route to the 13th green.',200,0,0,1),
(799,'2009-09-27','2009-09-27 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-27 14:43:26',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,25,121,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,798,1,1),
(800,'2009-09-27','2009-09-27 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-09-27 14:43:26',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,36,25,121,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,798,1,1),
(801,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(802,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 15:44:44',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,34,110,3,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(803,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 15:44:44',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,34,110,3,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(804,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(805,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(806,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(807,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(808,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(809,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(810,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(811,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(812,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(813,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(814,'2009-10-11','2009-10-11 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-11 16:39:50',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(815,'2009-10-04','2009-10-04 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-04 20:30:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,0,0,0,0,8,'Well - what a balls-up! No-one has spotted there\'s a Bears vs Pears County Match scheduled which makes an 8:15am start time too late for a completed Muffins fixture. Had those playing in the Medal on the previous day been paying attention, an earlier start time should and could have been scheduled. \r\n\r\nAs it was, come the sandwiches, the 4-ball of Mr. Grumpy, Brett, Cutie-Cutie and Turbo have 5 County foursomes matches up their arse and eventually, having been harassed continuously by Warks President John Duncombe and Geoff Ward, have to abandon their game on the 15th.\r\n\r\nThe 3-ball of Fat-Boy, DJ and Tate just manage to get round, but in order to do so, choose to ignore several shouts of \"fore\" from County officialdom as they meander up the 17th and then sit on the bench on the 18th tee for 20 minutes. \r\n\r\nSo, all-in-all a most unsatisfactory morning and so as to make their displeasure known, all Muffins will be deductiing £100 from their next Olton subscription and boycotting the WUGC Dinner.\r\n\r\nNaturally the match is declare \"null and void\" - a fact which is lost on DJ who, having scored 39 Stableford points, decides to enter the scores anyway in order to claim his 10 Muffin points.',1,'','',200,801,1,1),
(816,'2009-10-11','2009-10-11 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-13 12:28:45',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,42,21,188,6,8,'Just the 6 Muffins this week and no interference from County players so Fat-Boy, Mr. Grumpy and Brett trot off the 3rd tee to be followed by DJ, Nance and Turbo. In the event it\'s a bit of a non-contest as DJ rattles up 42 points and with Mr. Grumpy unable to hit his hat, the second 3-ball stroll to an easy victory.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy hits new heights with 7 blobs and on the 18th Brett does his shoulder in such that Fat-Boy plays the last 2 holes on his own. Even if they\'d have \"doubled it and added the number they first thought of\", it wouldn\'t have been close.\r\n\r\nSome additions to the course were noted. A load of totally un-necessary fencing around the 16th tee as well as the dell beyond the 15th green dictated by \"elf and safety\" no doubt. What\'s next? A traffic light system around the 11th dog-leg and a yellow cross-hatched exclusion zone all the way up the 12th perhaps? Maybe it\'s all to make the \"Institute of Highways & Transportation Quiz and Supper\" in the clubhouse on the 22nd October go with a swing.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(817,'2009-10-11','2009-10-11 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-11 16:43:22',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,42,21,188,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,816,1,1),
(818,'2009-10-11','2009-10-11 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-11 16:43:22',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,42,21,188,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,816,1,1),
(819,'2009-10-15','2009-10-15 08:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-15 19:15:06',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,39,29,298,9,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(820,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 08:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-19 17:49:57',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,41,15,268,9,8,'Having won the opening season event at Sandwell, DJ selects Whittington Heath for the closing summer season bash. A good choice, a fair test and he\'s even managed to arrange a bright Autumn day. Although Bones lives but a few miles from Whittington, he\'s never heard of it and has even more difficulty finding it - as does Cutie-Cutie. Nonetheless, after a bacon sarnie, Fat-Boy, DJ and Bones lead off. Cutie-Cutie, Tate and Turbo follow and Nance, Bainey and Mr. Grumpy ride drag.\r\n\r\nThe problem with Whittington is the premium placed on straight driving. Off the fairway one is prone to find thick wet grass, heather, trees, bushes, leaves, logs, twigs, assorted wildlife, even the odd ancient Briton, but seldom any balls. Evidenced by the lorry-loads of logs ready to be transported away to paper mills, it\'s a good job the Muffins didn\'t arrive the month before.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy\'s inability to find enough fairways is costing him dear, but not so Bones who delivers an exemplary display of straight driving to notch up 41 points and a clear individual morning victory. Fat-Boy, despite a lost tater up the 1st, lies second.\r\n\r\nA feature of Whittington is the generous hospitality of it\'s members who, in order to show the Muffins around an unfamiliar layout, decide to slot in a four-ball of old farts between each Muffin three-ball on the 10th tee. This annoys Nance so much he betrays his single figure status with a one-yard \"duffed chip\" right in front of said old farts - much to their amusement.\r\n\r\nFortunately the Muffins still get back to the sanctuary of the clubhouse in time for a reasonably relaxed lunch.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(821,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 08:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-16 13:51:32',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,41,15,274,9,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,820,1,1),
(822,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 08:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-16 13:51:32',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,41,15,266,9,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,820,1,1),
(823,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 08:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-16 13:51:32',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,41,15,268,9,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,820,1,1),
(824,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 14:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-19 18:00:21',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,10,270,9,14,'After a lunch of what was advertised as \"roasted vegetable soup\" but was actually just pureed parsnips - served on a trestle table with no cloth, the Muffins set out for another 18. As Bones is now partnered with Mr. Grumpy and Tate he\'s likely to be seeing a lot more of the course than he did in the morning and so it proves. Tate has a big \"push-slice\" and Mr. Grumpy a severe hook such that slow progress is made in a series of violent zig-zags.\r\n\r\nThe star moment comes on the 12th when Tate leathers his ball into the middle of the 14th fairway, walks to the ball indicated by someone who\'s just played their second shot to the green and swats it over the trees only to lose it in the far rough. Unfortunately the ball turns out to be a brand new Pro V1 from someone on the 14th tee. Happy days.\r\n\r\nBones has not managed to maintain the morning\'s form and with the \"3-stab\" a stand-out feature of the day for all concerned, is worried that his supremacy may be under threat - and so it proves with the Fat-Boy\'s steady play winning through.\r\n \r\nExtraordinarily, the initial assessment of the final scores reveals a three-way team tie, all with 77 points. Of course, as with all Muffins scoring, this is only a provisional basis for negotiation at which point Tate, Bones and Mr. Grumpy may have been proved the afternoon team winners - or maybe not as no-one can really give a monkey\'s. \r\n\r\nBest recovery goes to Cutie-Cutie who turns a morning 27 points into an afternnon 38 points, but individual champion is Fat-Boy who now has the singular honour of arranging the Spring meeting.\r\n\r\nWith a vote of thanks to DJ for excellent organisation, the Muffins repair to the Vaults and Cafe Saffron to round off an excellent day/season.\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(825,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 14:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-16 19:08:30',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,10,274,9,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,824,1,1),
(826,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 14:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-16 19:08:30',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,10,270,9,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,824,1,1),
(827,'2009-10-18','2009-10-18 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-26 10:54:40',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,25,236,7,8,'The penultimate Sunday of the Summer season and there\'s still plenty at stake with at least two players still in contention for the Girly Bunt Trophy.\r\n\r\nNance sets of with Tate and Turbo leaving Fat-Boy to do the scoring for DJ, Brett and Mr. Grumpy. There seem to be no hangovers from Friday\'s exertions, although Nance appears to break his wrist with his opening drive and loses his ball up the 1st.\r\n\r\nOn the opening hole Brett and Mr. Grumpy manage par 4\'s whilst DJ and Fat-Boy manage 6\'s and declare themselves much the happier.  The perverse logic being that for them things can only get better whilst for the par-men things can only get worse.\r\n\r\nHowever, the 4-ball are in a rich streak of form and come the sandwiches, the match is already over as a serious contest. Talking of sandwiches, DJ and Fat-Boy make the error of ordering black pudding which arrives un-sliced and length-wise making the eating of said sandwiches an anatomical impossibility and/or a sexual fantasy depending on your point of view.\r\n\r\nWhen the fat lady sang it was Brett who emerged victorious with a healthy 40 points 3 or 4 ahead of a batch of others. Only one week left and it appears that pending a stellar performance by Nance and a collapse of similar proportions by DJ, the trophy may be heading to Monkspath.\r\n\r\nOn the much more important subject of the fines leadership, Mr. Grumpy needs a clear week to give Tate the chance of snatching the title.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(828,'2009-10-18','2009-10-18 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-18 13:59:39',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,25,236,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,827,1,1),
(829,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 14:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-16 19:08:30',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,10,270,9,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,824,1,1),
(830,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 08:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-16 13:51:32',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,41,15,268,9,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,820,1,1),
(831,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 14:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-19 10:17:49',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,10,270,9,14,'After a lunch of what was advertised as \"roasted vegetable soup\" but was actually pureed parsnips, served on a trestle table with no cloth, the Muffins set out for another 18. As Bones is now partnered with Mr. Grumpy and Tate he\'s likely to be seeing a lot more of the course than he did in the morning and so it proves. Tate has a big \"push-slice\" and Mr. Grumpy a severe hook such that progress is made in a series of violent zig-zags.\r\n\r\nThe star moment comes on the 12th when Tate leathers his ball into the middle of the 14th fairway, walks to the ball indicated by someone who\'s just played their second shot to the green and swats it over the trees only to lose it in the far rough. It turns out to be a brand new Pro V1 from someone on the 14th tee. Happy days.\r\n\r\nExtraordinarily the initial assessment of the final scores reveals a three-way team tie, all with 77 points. Of course, as with all Muffins scoring, this is only a provisional basis for negotiation at which point Tate, Bones and Mr. Grumpy may have been proved the winners - or maybe not as no-one can really give a monkey\'s. Individual champion is Fat-Boy who now has the singular honour of arranging the Spring meeting.\r\n\r\nWith a vote of thanks to DJ for excellent organisation, the Muffins repair to the vaults and Cafe Saffron to round off an excellent day/season.\r\n',1,'','',200,824,1,1),
(832,'2009-10-18','2009-10-18 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-18 13:59:39',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,25,236,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,827,1,1),
(833,'2009-10-18','2009-10-18 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-19 10:52:15',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,25,236,7,8,'The penultimate Sunday of the Summer season and there\'s still plenty at stake with at least two players still in contention for the Girly Bunt Trophy.\r\n\r\nNance sets of with Tate and Turbo leaving Fat-Boy to do the scoring for DJ, Brett and Mr. Grumpy. There seem to be no hangovers from Friday\'s exertions, although Nance appears to break his wrist with his opening drive and loses his ball up the 1st.\r\n\r\nOn the opening hole Brett and Mr. Grumpy manage par 4\'s whilst DJ and Fat-Boy manage 6\'s and declare themselves much the happier.  The perverse logic being that for them things can only get better whilst for the par-men things can only get worse.\r\n\r\nHowever, the 4-ball are in a rich streak of form and come the sandwiches, the match is already over as a serious contest. Talking of sandwiches, DJ and Fat-Boy make the error of ordering black pudding which arrives un-sliced and length-wise making the eating of said sandwiches an anatomical impossibility and/or a sexual fantasy depending on your point of view.\r\n\r\nWhen the fat lady sang it was Brett who emerged victorious with a healthy 40 points 3 or 4 ahead of a batch of others. Only one week left and it appears that pending a stellar performance by Nance and a collapse of similar proportions by DJ, the trophy may be heading to Monkspath.',1,'','',200,827,1,1),
(834,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 08:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-19 10:33:42',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,41,15,268,9,8,'Having won the opening season event at Sandwell, DJ selects Whittington Heath for the closing summer season bash. A good choice, a fair test and he\'s even managed to arrange a bright Autumn Day.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy, DJ and Bones lead off. Cutie-Cutie, Tate and Turbo follow and Nance, Bainey and Mr. Grumpy ride drag.\r\n\r\nThe problem with Whittington is the premium placed on straight driving. Off the fairway one is prone to find thick wet grass, heather, trees, bushes, leaves, logs, twigs, assorted wildlife, even the odd ancient Briton but seldom any balls.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy\'s inability to find enough fairways is costing him dear, but not so Bones who delivers an exemplary display of straight driving to notch up 41 points and a clear individual morning victory. \r\n\r\nA feature of Whittington is the generous hospitality of it\'s members who, in order to show the Muffins around an unfamiliar layout, decide to slot in a four-ball of old farts between each Muffin three-ball on the 10th tee. Fortunately the Muffins still get back to the sanctuary of the clubhouse in time for a reasonably relaxed lunch.',1,'','',200,820,1,1),
(835,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 14:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-19 10:35:40',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,10,270,9,14,'After a lunch of what was advertised as \"roasted vegetable soup\" but was actually pureed parsnips, served on a trestle table with no cloth, the Muffins set out for another 18. As Bones is now partnered with Mr. Grumpy and Tate he\'s likely to be seeing a lot more of the course than he did in the morning and so it proves. Tate has a big \"push-slice\" and Mr. Grumpy a severe hook such that progress is made in a series of violent zig-zags.\r\n\r\nThe star moment comes on the 12th when Tate leathers his ball into the middle of the 14th fairway, walks to the ball indicated by someone who\'s just played their second shot to the green and swats it over the trees only to lose it in the far rough. It turns out to be a brand new Pro V1 from someone on the 14th tee. Happy days.\r\n\r\nExtraordinarily the initial assessment of the final scores reveals a three-way team tie, all with 77 points. Of course, as with all Muffins scoring, this is only a provisional basis for negotiation at which point Tate, Bones and Mr. Grumpy may have been proved the winners - or maybe not as no-one can really give a monkey\'s. Individual champion is Fat-Boy who now has the singular honour of arranging the Spring meeting.\r\n\r\nWith a vote of thanks to DJ for excellent organisation, the Muffins repair to the Vaults and Cafe Saffron to round off an excellent day/season.\r\n',1,'','',200,824,1,1),
(836,'2009-10-16','2009-10-16 14:00:00',11,179,156,156,'','2009-10-19 17:55:36',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,10,270,9,14,'After a lunch of what was advertised as \"roasted vegetable soup\" but was actually just pureed parsnips - served on a trestle table with no cloth, the Muffins set out for another 18. As Bones is now partnered with Mr. Grumpy and Tate he\'s likely to be seeing a lot more of the course than he did in the morning and so it proves. Tate has a big \"push-slice\" and Mr. Grumpy a severe hook such that slow progress is made in a series of violent zig-zags.\r\n\r\nThe star moment comes on the 12th when Tate leathers his ball into the middle of the 14th fairway, walks to the ball indicated by someone who\'s just played their second shot to the green and swats it over the trees only to lose it in the far rough. Unfortunately the ball turns out to be a brand new Pro V1 from someone on the 14th tee. Happy days.\r\n\r\nBones has not managed to maintain the morning\'s form and with the \"3-stab\" a stand-out feature of the day for all concerned, is worried that his supremacy may be under threat - and so it proves with the Fat-Boy\'s steady play winning through.\r\n \r\nExtraordinarily, the initial assessment of the final scores reveals a three-way team tie, all with 77 points. Of course, as with all Muffins scoring, this is only a provisional basis for negotiation at which point Tate, Bones and Mr. Grumpy may have been proved the pm team winners - or maybe not as no-one can really give a monkey\'s. Individual champion is Fat-Boy who now has the singular honour of arranging the Spring meeting.\r\n\r\nWith a vote of thanks to DJ for excellent organisation, the Muffins repair to the Vaults and Cafe Saffron to round off an excellent day/season.\r\n',1,'','',200,824,1,1),
(837,'2009-10-18','2009-10-18 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-19 10:56:40',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,25,236,7,8,'The penultimate Sunday of the Summer season and there\'s still plenty at stake with at least two players still in contention for the Girly Bunt Trophy.\r\n\r\nNance sets of with Tate and Turbo leaving Fat-Boy to do the scoring for DJ, Brett and Mr. Grumpy. There seem to be no hangovers from Friday\'s exertions, although Nance appears to break his wrist with his opening drive and loses his ball up the 1st.\r\n\r\nOn the opening hole Brett and Mr. Grumpy manage par 4\'s whilst DJ and Fat-Boy manage 6\'s and declare themselves much the happier.  The perverse logic being that for them things can only get better whilst for the par-men things can only get worse.\r\n\r\nHowever, the 4-ball are in a rich streak of form and come the sandwiches, the match is already over as a serious contest. Talking of sandwiches, DJ and Fat-Boy make the error of ordering black pudding which arrives un-sliced and length-wise making the eating of said sandwiches an anatomical impossibility and/or a sexual fantasy depending on your point of view.\r\n\r\nWhen the fat lady sang it was Brett who emerged victorious with a healthy 40 points 3 or 4 ahead of a batch of others. Only one week left and it appears that pending a stellar performance by Nance and a collapse of similar proportions by DJ, the trophy may be heading to Monkspath.\r\n\r\nOn the much more important subject of the fines leadership, Mr. Grumpy needs a clear week to give Tate the chance of snatching the title.',1,'','',200,827,1,1),
(838,'2009-10-18','2009-10-18 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-25 18:07:25',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(839,'2009-10-25','2009-10-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-25 18:06:17',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,838,1,1),
(840,'2009-10-25','2009-10-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-25 18:05:22',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,25,236,7,8,'The penultimate Sunday of the Summer season and there\'s still plenty at stake with at least two players still in contention for the Girly Bunt Trophy.\r\n\r\nNance sets of with Tate and Turbo leaving Fat-Boy to do the scoring for DJ, Brett and Mr. Grumpy. There seem to be no hangovers from Friday\'s exertions, although Nance appears to break his wrist with his opening drive and loses his ball up the 1st.\r\n\r\nOn the opening hole Brett and Mr. Grumpy manage par 4\'s whilst DJ and Fat-Boy manage 6\'s and declare themselves much the happier.  The perverse logic being that for them things can only get better whilst for the par-men things can only get worse.\r\n\r\nHowever, the 4-ball are in a rich streak of form and come the sandwiches, the match is already over as a serious contest. Talking of sandwiches, DJ and Fat-Boy make the error of ordering black pudding which arrives un-sliced and length-wise making the eating of said sandwiches an anatomical impossibility and/or a sexual fantasy depending on your point of view.\r\n\r\nWhen the fat lady sang it was Brett who emerged victorious with a healthy 40 points 3 or 4 ahead of a batch of others. Only one week left and it appears that pending a stellar performance by Nance and a collapse of similar proportions by DJ, the trophy may be heading to Monkspath.\r\n\r\nOn the much more important subject of the fines leadership, Mr. Grumpy needs a clear week to give Tate the chance of snatching the title.',1,'','',200,827,1,1),
(841,'2009-10-25','2009-10-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-25 18:05:22',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,25,236,7,8,'The penultimate Sunday of the Summer season and there\'s still plenty at stake with at least two players still in contention for the Girly Bunt Trophy.\r\n\r\nNance sets of with Tate and Turbo leaving Fat-Boy to do the scoring for DJ, Brett and Mr. Grumpy. There seem to be no hangovers from Friday\'s exertions, although Nance appears to break his wrist with his opening drive and loses his ball up the 1st.\r\n\r\nOn the opening hole Brett and Mr. Grumpy manage par 4\'s whilst DJ and Fat-Boy manage 6\'s and declare themselves much the happier.  The perverse logic being that for them things can only get better whilst for the par-men things can only get worse.\r\n\r\nHowever, the 4-ball are in a rich streak of form and come the sandwiches, the match is already over as a serious contest. Talking of sandwiches, DJ and Fat-Boy make the error of ordering black pudding which arrives un-sliced and length-wise making the eating of said sandwiches an anatomical impossibility and/or a sexual fantasy depending on your point of view.\r\n\r\nWhen the fat lady sang it was Brett who emerged victorious with a healthy 40 points 3 or 4 ahead of a batch of others. Only one week left and it appears that pending a stellar performance by Nance and a collapse of similar proportions by DJ, the trophy may be heading to Monkspath.\r\n\r\nOn the much more important subject of the fines leadership, Mr. Grumpy needs a clear week to give Tate the chance of snatching the title.',1,'','',200,827,1,1),
(842,'2009-10-18','2009-10-18 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-25 18:08:33',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,25,236,7,8,'The penultimate Sunday of the Summer season and there\'s still plenty at stake with at least two players still in contention for the Girly Bunt Trophy.\r\n\r\nNance sets of with Tate and Turbo leaving Fat-Boy to do the scoring for DJ, Brett and Mr. Grumpy. There seem to be no hangovers from Friday\'s exertions, although Nance appears to break his wrist with his opening drive and loses his ball up the 1st.\r\n\r\nOn the opening hole Brett and Mr. Grumpy manage par 4\'s whilst DJ and Fat-Boy manage 6\'s and declare themselves much the happier.  The perverse logic being that for them things can only get better whilst for the par-men things can only get worse.\r\n\r\nHowever, the 4-ball are in a rich streak of form and come the sandwiches, the match is already over as a serious contest. Talking of sandwiches, DJ and Fat-Boy make the error of ordering black pudding which arrives un-sliced and length-wise making the eating of said sandwiches an anatomical impossibility and/or a sexual fantasy depending on your point of view.\r\n\r\nWhen the fat lady sang it was Brett who emerged victorious with a healthy 40 points 3 or 4 ahead of a batch of others. Only one week left and it appears that pending a stellar performance by Nance and a collapse of similar proportions by DJ, the trophy may be heading to Monkspath.\r\n\r\nOn the much more important subject of the fines leadership, Mr. Grumpy needs a clear week to give Tate the chance of snatching the title.',1,'','',200,827,1,1),
(843,'2009-10-25','2009-10-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-25 18:09:14',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,40,25,236,7,8,'The penultimate Sunday of the Summer season and there\'s still plenty at stake with at least two players still in contention for the Girly Bunt Trophy.\r\n\r\nNance sets of with Tate and Turbo leaving Fat-Boy to do the scoring for DJ, Brett and Mr. Grumpy. There seem to be no hangovers from Friday\'s exertions, although Nance appears to break his wrist with his opening drive and loses his ball up the 1st.\r\n\r\nOn the opening hole Brett and Mr. Grumpy manage par 4\'s whilst DJ and Fat-Boy manage 6\'s and declare themselves much the happier.  The perverse logic being that for them things can only get better whilst for the par-men things can only get worse.\r\n\r\nHowever, the 4-ball are in a rich streak of form and come the sandwiches, the match is already over as a serious contest. Talking of sandwiches, DJ and Fat-Boy make the error of ordering black pudding which arrives un-sliced and length-wise making the eating of said sandwiches an anatomical impossibility and/or a sexual fantasy depending on your point of view.\r\n\r\nWhen the fat lady sang it was Brett who emerged victorious with a healthy 40 points 3 or 4 ahead of a batch of others. Only one week left and it appears that pending a stellar performance by Nance and a collapse of similar proportions by DJ, the trophy may be heading to Monkspath.\r\n\r\nOn the much more important subject of the fines leadership, Mr. Grumpy needs a clear week to give Tate the chance of snatching the title.',1,'','',200,827,1,1),
(844,'2009-10-25','2009-10-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-26 11:20:58',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,25,186,6,8,'The last match of a long Summer season and despite promises to the contrary, DJ doesn\'t show - so he can\'t be overtaken in the quest for the Girly Bunt Trophy and neither does Tate, which leaves Mr. Grumpy disconsolate at the head of the fines table.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy decides that Mr. Grumpy, Cutie-Cutie and Nance will take on himself, Turbo and Brett. A highlight of the front 9 is Fat-Boy\'s wedge approach to the 4th green. After playing it he squints into the sun confidently expecting it to pitch on the green and is thus surprised to hear Brett\'s scream of \"fore\" as what turns out to be a shank misses Cutie-Cutie\'s swede by a thou as he crosses the stream on the 5th. Thus un-nerved, Fat-Boy then contrives to hit himself with a bunker shot on the 8th.\r\n\r\nAt half-way there\'s a 2 point advantage to the Fat-Boy Three which is little surprise as Mr. Grumpy and Cutie-Cutie are having to carry their single figure player who has yet to achieve a par.\r\n\r\nNance finds his game around the 13th, but unfortunately not his ball on the 12th where a vicious hook finishes in the copse by the 14th tee. Cutie\'s seminal moment occurs on the 17th where he\'s behind a staked tree - but not so far that he can claim a drop. The resultant swat hits the stake and cannons back past him for an OOB.\r\n\r\nNance\'s partial recovery allows him and his compadres to turn the match around for a one point victory and Cutie-Cutie takes the individual honours with a useful 35 points.\r\n\r\nNext week - winter draws on.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(845,'2009-10-25','2009-10-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-26 10:55:24',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,25,186,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,844,1,1),
(846,'2009-10-25','2009-10-25 08:00:00',10,2,67,67,'','2009-10-26 10:55:24',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,25,186,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,844,1,1),
(847,'2009-11-01','2009-11-01 08:00:00',12,2,89,89,'','2009-11-01 20:09:43',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'If it\'s not one thing it\'s another. Whilst the spoiling of the Muffins\' fun by the Warwickshire County Foresomes is still fresh in the memory, along come the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to ruin the first match of the 2009/2010 Winter Season.\r\n\r\nAt 05:30 hours when Mr. Grumpy\'s slumbers are disturbed by the progress of the previous evening\'s Chinese Takeaway along his digestive tract, all is calm and dry (the weather that is - not his digestive tract). But, at 07:15 hours when his alarm goes off, all hell has broken loose and the predicted tempest has arrived. A quick call to Brett (who by this stage has given the greyhounds a few miles exercise) determines the need for another group text and by 07:45 hours the general concensus is a cancellation.\r\n\r\nSo, history is made and for the first time ever the Muffins are kept off the course and Dave has a load of bacon, sausage, eggs, black pudding and rolls that will be another week older before they are eventually consumed.\r\n\r\nThis is of no interest whatsoever to the dangerous brothers who\'ve legged it to sunny Portugal anyway. \r\n\r\nBastards.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(848,'2009-11-01','2009-11-01 08:00:00',12,2,89,89,'','2009-11-01 19:55:33',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,847,1,1),
(849,'2009-11-08','2009-11-08 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-09 18:23:23',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,27,118,4,8,'The Winter 2009/2010 Season has started with a whimper rather than a bang as after last week\'s wash out, Week Two sees only 4 Muffins contest an uncompleted round. It\'s dark, dank and miserable (no, not Mr. G, the weather) and only Nance, Brett, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy are in attendance.\r\n\r\nThey elect to start on the 3rd which, after being delayed by Winter Foursomes and Bones playing some M. Mouse singles competition, means they don\'t get round to the 1st before the Ladies commence another ruddy competition. However, an early finish at least means Brett can get off to his swimming lesson on time.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy partners Nance to a comfortable (if void) team win over the 16 holes played whilst Nance trousers 10 individual points to take an early lead in the \"Jack S**t Trophy.\r\n\r\nThe highlight of the morning is Mr. Grumpy\'s tale of taking delivery of his brand new Jaguar XF on the Wednesday, going fishing on the Thursday and getting it stuck axle deep in thick mud such that the RAC have to be summoned to tow him out. This result in an expensive full outside and inside valet on the Friday.\r\n\r\nOther than that it\'s an unsatisfactory morning. Let\'s hope for better next week.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(850,'2009-11-08','2009-11-08 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-09 17:56:56',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,27,118,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,849,1,1),
(851,'2009-11-08','2009-11-08 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-09 17:56:56',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,27,118,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,849,1,1),
(852,'2009-11-08','2009-11-08 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-09 18:18:49',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,27,118,4,8,'The Winter 2009/2010 Season has started with a whimper rather than a bang as after last week\'s wash out, Week Two sees only 4 Muffins contest an uncompleted round. It\'s dark, dank and miserable (no, not Mr. G, the weather) and only Nance, Brett, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy are in attendance.\r\n\r\nThey elect to start on the 3rd, which after being delayed by Winter Foursomes and Bones playing some M. Mouse singles competition means they don\'t get round to the 1st before the Ladies commence another ruddy competition. However, an early finish at least means Brett can get off to his swimming lesson on time.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy partners Nance to a comfortable (if void) team win over the 16 holes played whilst Nance trousers 10 individual points to take an early lead in the \"Jack S**t Trophy.\r\n\r\nThe highlight of the morning is Mr. Grumpy\'s tale of taking delivery of his brand new Jaguar XF on the Wednesday, going fishing on the Thursday and getting it stuck axle deep in thick mud such that the RAC have to be summoned to tow him out. This result in an expensive full outside and inside valet on the Friday.\r\n\r\nOther than that it\'s an unsatisfactory morning. Let\'s hope for better next week.',1,'','',200,849,1,1),
(853,'2009-11-08','2009-11-08 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-09 18:18:49',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,35,27,118,4,8,'The Winter 2009/2010 Season has started with a whimper rather than a bang as after last week\'s wash out, Week Two sees only 4 Muffins contest an uncompleted round. It\'s dark, dank and miserable (no, not Mr. G, the weather) and only Nance, Brett, Turbo and Mr. Grumpy are in attendance.\r\n\r\nThey elect to start on the 3rd, which after being delayed by Winter Foursomes and Bones playing some M. Mouse singles competition means they don\'t get round to the 1st before the Ladies commence another ruddy competition. However, an early finish at least means Brett can get off to his swimming lesson on time.\r\n\r\nMr. Grumpy partners Nance to a comfortable (if void) team win over the 16 holes played whilst Nance trousers 10 individual points to take an early lead in the \"Jack S**t Trophy.\r\n\r\nThe highlight of the morning is Mr. Grumpy\'s tale of taking delivery of his brand new Jaguar XF on the Wednesday, going fishing on the Thursday and getting it stuck axle deep in thick mud such that the RAC have to be summoned to tow him out. This result in an expensive full outside and inside valet on the Friday.\r\n\r\nOther than that it\'s an unsatisfactory morning. Let\'s hope for better next week.',1,'','',200,849,1,1),
(854,'2009-11-15','2009-11-15 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-15 18:46:20',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(855,'2009-11-15','2009-11-15 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-15 18:44:56',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,854,1,1),
(856,'2009-11-15','2009-11-15 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-16 10:34:43',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,23,110,4,8,'Turbo is in Scotland, Nance and Fat-Boy are playing a Winter Foursome and Tate is in the slough of despond so, once again, it\'s a half-strength field for week 3.\r\n\r\nDJ pairs up with Brett and Cutie-Cutie is twinned with Mr. Grumpy both of whom are pleased that the hurricane winds have passed which might have been unsuited to their normal ball flight. The swollen stream is in play early as DJ shanks a chip into it on the 2nd and Cutie-Cutie executes a de-duck as the water laps over his shoes on the 4th. In fact Cutie-Cutie sets some sort of record by first de-owling by turning up, de-ducking three times and even de-cameling.\r\n\r\nBy the 6th the Muffins have to give way to Nance and Fat-Boy\'s Foursome. This results in a 10 minute delay as the two pairs scrat about in the trees, rough and leaves such that Nance and Fat-Boy finally shade the hole with a quality score of seven.\r\n\r\nAt the sandwiches DJ and Brett have eked out a slender one point lead courtesy of Brett who is the only competitor with a golf game, which is then extended to a clear five points by the end. Brett\'s individual 34 points is sufficient for a bus-ride margin of victory.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(857,'2009-11-15','2009-11-15 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-15 23:06:51',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,23,110,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,856,1,1),
(858,'2009-11-15','2009-11-15 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-15 23:06:51',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,34,23,110,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,856,1,1),
(859,'2009-11-22','2009-11-22 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-23 11:07:28',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,28,225,7,8,'It\'s another wet one, but at least there\'s a decent turn-out of all bar Cutie-Cutie for week 3.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy bravely selects Mr. Grumpy and Tate as his partners leaving Brett, Turbo, DJ and Nance to follow on. Nance has had a \"Cutie-Cutie style\" severe haircut thus his head takes on the appearance of a cue-ball and, Samson-like, it seems to have sapped all his strength.\r\n\r\nIn order to enhance the possibility of getting their bacon cooked - let alone crispy, the 3-ball place their order with Dave as early as the 4th tee. In the event when they get to the 9th there\'s a rush on and the ploy is still a failure.\r\n\r\nHowever, the disppointment is tempered by the news they have a healthy lead, something they maintain through to the clubhouse. Continuing the feast or famine style which has become his trademark, Mr. Grumpy takes the honours with 38 points but, in a break with tradition, manages to win the team match and stays fine-free.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(860,'2009-11-22','2009-11-22 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-22 17:01:16',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,28,225,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,859,1,1),
(861,'2009-11-22','2009-11-22 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-22 17:01:16',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,38,28,225,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,859,1,1),
(862,'2009-11-29','2009-11-29 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-29 19:19:11',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,25,219,7,8,'Another wet Sunday but the rumoured \"full house\" fails to materialise leaving the Muffins with an Ace, 2 Kings, 3 Jacks and a Queen (you decide).\r\n\r\nIn Fat-Boy\'s unexplained absence, Brett does the tossing and selects Mr. Grumpy and Turbo as his partners which on the evidence of the front 9 is an unwise decision, but one that\'s vindicated later on.\r\n\r\nIt\'s really soggy, but thankfully not raining and the course is all but deserted making Dave\'s presence in the hut a largely unprofitable one. At half way it\'s a 4 point advantage to the 4 ball, principally the responsibility of Nance and Tate, but the back 9 is halved. Tate has a mixed day and the low spot comes on the 14th where he\'s just twenty yards short of the green in two, but then blobs with three throws of the wedge going much farther than the ball at any stage.\r\n\r\nIndividually Nance garners the 10 points with an individual 37 followed by Tate with 35.\r\n\r\nAll this follows a most successful Muffins Annual Dinner kindly organised by the Wawickshire Union of Golf Clubs where, once again, the Muffins are in pole position.\r\n\r\nThe President of the EGU fulfills his primary purpose in presenting the Summer Trophy to DJ and then does his best to entertain the audience but unfortunately selects to commence his speech just at the moment when all eyes in the room are focussed on Table 17 where the Muffins are engrossed in the draw for the Turkey Trot. The result of this is:\r\n\r\nCutie-Cutie & Mr. Grumpy\r\nTurbo & Fat-Boy\r\nTate & Brett\r\nNance & DJ\r\n\r\nThe Muffins have decided that this will be played on Sunday 14th December.\r\n\r\nSo, \r\n\r\nWho\'s got all the gear but no idea?\r\nWho drives for show but putts for dough?\r\n\r\nJoin us again when we play the Weakest Golfer\r\n\r\nGoodbye\r\n\r\n(wink)\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(863,'2009-11-29','2009-11-29 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-29 16:44:29',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,25,217,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,862,1,1),
(864,'2009-11-29','2009-11-29 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-29 16:44:29',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,25,219,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,862,1,1),
(865,'2009-11-29','2009-11-29 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-29 16:44:29',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,25,219,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,862,1,1),
(866,'2009-11-29','2009-11-29 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-11-29 19:08:34',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,25,219,7,8,'Another wet Sunday but the rumoured \"full house\" fails to materialise leaving the Muffins with 3 Kings, 3 Jacks and a Queen.\r\n\r\nIn Fat-Boy\'s unexplained absence, Brett does the tossing and selects Mr. Grumpy and Turbo as his partners which on the evidence of the front 9 is an unwise decision, but one that is vindicated later on.\r\n\r\nIt\'s really soggy, but thankfully not raining and the course is all but deserted making Dave\'s presence in the hut a largely unprofitable one. At half way it\'s a 4 point advantage to the 4 ball, principally the responsibility of Nance and Tate, but the back 9 is halved. Tate has a mixed day and the low spot comes on the 14th where he\'s twenty yards short of the green in two, but then blobs with the three throws of the wedge going much farther than the ball at any stage.\r\n\r\nIndividually Nance garners the 10 points with an individual 37 followed by Tate with 35.\r\n\r\nAll this follows a most successful Muffins Annual Dinner kindly organised by the Wawickshire Union of Golf Clubs where, once again, the Muffins are in pole position.\r\n\r\nThe President of the EGU fulfills his primary purpose in presenting the Summer Trophy to DJ and then does his best to entertain the audience but unfortunately selects to commence his speech just at the moment when all eyes in the room are focussed on Table 17 where the Muffins are conducting the draw for the Turkey Trot. The result of this is:\r\n\r\nCutie Cutie & Mr. Grumpy\r\nTurbo & Fat-Boy\r\nTate & Brett\r\nNance & DJ\r\n\r\nThe Muffins have decided that this will be played on Sunday 14th December.\r\n\r\nSo, \r\n\r\nWho\'s got all the gear but no idea?\r\nWho drives for show but putts for dough?\r\n\r\nJoin us again next time when we play the Weakest Golfer\r\n\r\nGoodbye\r\n\r\n(wink)\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,862,1,1),
(867,'2009-12-06','2009-12-06 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-06 22:37:06',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,24,179,6,8,'No Cutie-Cutie and no Fat-Boy to witness a miracle whereby, for the second week running, the Muffins\' arrival at OGC is the signal for an immediate cessation of rain and an outbreak of blue skies.\r\n\r\nTurbo tosses up and selects Tate and Brett as his partners in crime. Conditions underfoot are more than moist which opens up opportunities for de-cameling out of the bunkers doubling as swimming pools. Nance seizes the chance from the fairway bunker on the 7th, but oddly chooses a 3-wood to extract himself from the shallow end with unsatisfactory results.\r\n\r\nAt half way it\'s a narrow one point advantage for Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy who manage to stretch the margin to 3 points by the conclusion.\r\n\r\nThe 15th sees a unique moment whereby DJ selects a 6 iron and hits it straight at the flag. \"It\'s in the hole\" opines Mr. Grumpy and with one bounce this prediction is fulfilled giving DJ his first hole-in-one. The major benefit is that it saves him from 3 putting which has been a regular feature of his morning so far.\r\n\r\nHis reward for this singular achievement is having to buy a bottle of whiskey in the bar.\r\n\r\nIndividually Tate and DJ share the spoils with a pair of 33\'s.',1,'photo.jpg','DJ accepts the Summer Muffins Trophy from the very funny EGU President Norman Forrest',200,0,0,1),
(868,'2009-12-06','2009-12-06 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-06 19:48:01',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,24,179,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,867,1,1),
(869,'2009-12-06','2009-12-06 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-06 19:48:01',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,24,179,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,867,1,1),
(870,'2009-12-06','2009-12-06 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-06 20:08:41',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,24,179,6,8,'No Cutie-Cutie and no Fat-Boy to witness a miracle whereby, for the second week running, the Muffins\' arrival at OGC is the signal for an immediate cessation of rain and an outbreak of blue skies.\r\n\r\nTurbo tosses up and selects Tate and Brett as his partners in crime. Conditions underfoot are more than moist which opens up opportunities for de-cameling out of the bunkers doubling as swimming pools. Nance seizes the chance from the fairway bunker on the 7th, but oddly chooses a 3-wood to extract himself from the shallow end with unsatisfactory results.\r\n\r\nAt half way it\'s a narrow one point advantage for Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy who manage to stretch the margin to 3 points by the conclusion.\r\n\r\nThe 15th sees a unique moment whereby DJ selects a 6 iron and hits it straight at the flag. \"It\'s in the hole\" opines Mr. Grumpy and with one bounce this prediction is fulfilled giving DJ his first hole-in-one. The major benefit is that it saves him from 3 putting which has been a regular feature of his morning so far.\r\n\r\nHis reward for this singular achievement is having to buy a bottle of whiskey in the bar.\r\n\r\nIndividually Tate and DJ share the spoils with a pair of 33\'s.',1,'','',200,867,1,1),
(871,'2009-12-06','2009-12-06 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-06 22:25:28',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,24,179,6,8,'No Cutie-Cutie and no Fat-Boy to witness a miracle whereby, for the second week running, the Muffins\' arrival at OGC is the signal for an immediate cessation of rain and an outbreak of blue skies.\r\n\r\nTurbo tosses up and selects Tate and Brett as his partners in crime. Conditions underfoot are more than moist which opens up opportunities for de-cameling out of the bunkers doubling as swimming pools. Nance seizes the chance from the fairway bunker on the 7th, but oddly chooses a 3-wood to extract himself from the shallow end with unsatisfactory results.\r\n\r\nAt half way it\'s a narrow one point advantage for Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy who manage to stretch the margin to 3 points by the conclusion.\r\n\r\nThe 15th sees a unique moment whereby DJ selects a 6 iron and hits it straight at the flag. \"It\'s in the hole\" opines Mr. Grumpy and with one bounce this prediction is fulfilled giving DJ his first hole-in-one. The major benefit is that it saves him from 3 putting which has been a regular feature of his morning so far.\r\n\r\nHis reward for this singular achievement is having to buy a bottle of whiskey in the bar.\r\n\r\nIndividually Tate and DJ share the spoils with a pair of 33\'s.',1,'egu president and dj with muffins summer trophy.jpg','DJ accepts the Summer Muffins Trophy from the very funny EGU President Norman Forrest',200,867,1,1),
(872,'2009-12-13','2009-12-13 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-13 21:58:30',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'It\'s the Annual Turkey Trot and six Muffins attempt to win a Christmas Dinner but succeed only in playing like turkeys.\r\n\r\nTop performers are Nance and DJ with 32 points, marred by a couple of blobs on the back 9. Turbo has a great day with the driver and supports Fat-Boy to the tune of 29 points and bringing up the rear are Cutie-Cutie and Mr. Grumpy who contrive to lose a couple of balls and generally scrat about for somewhat less.\r\n\r\nNormal service will be resumed next week.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(873,'2009-12-13','2009-12-13 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-13 21:51:54',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,872,1,1),
(874,'2009-12-27','2009-12-27 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-28 10:03:41',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,29,204,6,8,'The thaw has begun sufficient to allow 6 Muffins plus Bones to work off a bit of the Christmas food and drink but unfortunately it\'s all temporary greens. The groundstaff have been unable to do much preparation so some of the temps are set in rough, leaves and ice which plays into DJ\'s hands. Often an uncertain putter, the new arrangements allow him to use the \"chipper\" all the way round which he does to devastating effect chipping in at least twice for a couple of 4 pointers.\r\n\r\nThe nett effect is a resounding victory for the 4-ball comprising DJ, Tate, Brett and Mr. Grumpy. The conditions are not to Brett\'s liking, though early hurricane force wittering subsides as he puts together a decent back 9. And it\'s a similar story for Tate as club throwing and general self-abuse takes a back seat when the G10 driver is kept in the bag.\r\n\r\nIn the event such is the margin of DJ\'s victory that only Mr. Grumpy and Fat-Boy pick up any points and it\'s noticeable that DJ\'s mentioning of the match being \"non-qualifying\" fade away as his points total mounts!',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(875,'2009-12-27','2009-12-27 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-27 16:48:18',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,29,204,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,874,1,1),
(876,'2009-12-27','2009-12-27 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-27 16:48:18',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,29,204,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,874,1,1),
(877,'2009-12-27','2009-12-27 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2009-12-27 16:48:18',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,43,29,204,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,874,1,1),
(878,'2010-01-17','2010-01-17 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-18 16:17:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'Aston Villa\'s boring 0-0 draw with The Hammers takes away 3 Muffins, Fat-Boy is in Scotland and Cutie-Cutie has a bad back so only Nance, Brett and Mr. Grumpy appear on an OGC course that is barely playable. Dave and Jean decide not to put in an appearance either, so there is precious liitle to celebrate other than a gentle walk to re-familiarise oneself with the course layout.\r\n\r\nThe match is non-qualifying but light relief is provided by Brett\'s tale of how he now owns the most expensive chicken in the world. \r\n\r\nIt transpires that a pair of greyhounds belonging to some friends decided to attack one of Brett\'s poultry. In doing so they rip away the parson\'s nose and enough flesh to make a decent korma, but fail to kill it. As he reaches for the Paxo Sage and Onion, Brett is told by Katie that if he doesn\'t save the chicken she\'ll never forgive him, thus forcing a trip to the vet.\r\n\r\nWith the aid of superglue and a large cheque, the vet glues the chicken\'s arse back on and it is now recovering. It\'s so traumatised it\'s unlikely to lay eggs and anyway so ugly that the cockerel is unlikely to shag it. And the glue will enhance neither it\'s flavour or carvability when it does eventually snuff it.\r\n\r\nFurther bulletins as to the chicken\'s health will be available weekly.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(879,'2010-01-17','2010-01-17 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-17 19:08:19',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,878,1,1),
(880,'2010-01-17','2010-01-17 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-17 19:24:09',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'Aston Villa\'s boring 0-0 draw with The Hammers takes away 3 Muffins, Fat-Boy is in Scotland and Cutie-Cutie has a bad back so only Nance, Brett and Mr. Grumpy appear on an OGC course that is barely playable. Dave and Jean decide not to put in an appearance either so there is precious liitle to celebrate other than a gentle walk to re-familiarise oneself with the course layout.\r\n\r\nThe light relief is provided by Brett\'s tale of how he now owns the most expensive chicken in the world. It transpires that a pair of greyhounds belonging to some friends decided to attack one of Brett\'s poultry. In doing so they rip away the parson\'s nose and enough flesh to make a decent korma but fail to kill it. Instead of reaching for the Paxo Sage and Onion, Brett is told by Katie that if he doesn\'t save the chicken she\'ll never forgive him thus forcing a trip to the vet.\r\n\r\nWith the aid of superglue and a large cheque the vet glues the chicken\'s arse back on and it is now recovering. It is so traumatised it is unlikely to lay eggs and anyway so ugly that the cockerel is unlikely to shag it. The glue is not thought likely to enhance either it\'s flavour or carvability when it eventually snuffs it.\r\n\r\nFurther bulletins as to the chicken\'s health will be available weekly.',1,'','',200,878,1,1),
(881,'2010-01-17','2010-01-17 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-17 19:27:23',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'Aston Villa\'s boring 0-0 draw with The Hammers takes away 3 Muffins, Fat-Boy is in Scotland and Cutie-Cutie has a bad back so only Nance, Brett and Mr. Grumpy appear on an OGC course that is barely playable. Dave and Jean decide not to put in an appearance either so there is precious liitle to celebrate other than a gentle walk to re-familiarise oneself with the course layout.\r\n\r\nThe match is non-qualifying.\r\n\r\nThe light relief is provided by Brett\'s tale of how he now owns the most expensive chicken in the world. It transpires that a pair of greyhounds belonging to some friends decided to attack one of Brett\'s poultry. In doing so they rip away the parson\'s nose and enough flesh to make a decent korma but fail to kill it. Instead of reaching for the Paxo Sage and Onion, Brett is told by Katie that if he doesn\'t save the chicken she\'ll never forgive him thus forcing a trip to the vet.\r\n\r\nWith the aid of superglue and a large cheque the vet glues the chicken\'s arse back on and it is now recovering. It is so traumatised it\'s unlikely to lay eggs and anyway so ugly that the cockerel is unlikely to shag it. And the glue is not going to enhance it\'s flavour or carvability when it eventually snuffs it.\r\n\r\nFurther bulletins as to the chicken\'s health will be available weekly.',1,'','',200,878,1,1),
(882,'2010-01-25','2010-01-25 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-25 11:07:58',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,26,215,7,8,'DJ\'s up to his eyes in dodgy tax returns so, for the first time in ages, there\'s a decent turn out on a course fit for play. Unusually Fat-Boy manages a straightforward toss and it\'s Gentlemen (himself, Brett and Mr. Grumpy) vs Players (The Rest).\r\n\r\nA new Steward is in place and naturally Fat-Boy is on first name terms already, but the half-way house has been demolished in anticipation of a brick-built kitchen and two traps so all that remains is a concrete plinth. However, Fat-Boy has risen early and cooked bacon baps for the boys which are distributed on the 1st tee. Come the 10th tee they are cold and a bit squashed but very welcome nonetheless.\r\n\r\nAt half-way it\'s a 40 point tie but on the back 9 the three ball lose all form to lose the match by a decent margin. Highlight of the day is Tate\'s shanked chip into a bunker from the green-side of the stream on 18 to collect the camels.\r\n\r\nFurther evidence of the flawed nature of the construction of the competition is provided by Mr. Grumpy who, once again, takes the individual honours but loses the match, the money and suffers a handicap cut.\r\n\r\nThis is mirrored later in the day by the FA Cup whereby a team that can play football i.e. Arsenal are eliminated by one that patently can\'t, i.e. Stoke City.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(883,'2010-01-25','2010-01-25 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-25 10:26:57',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,26,215,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,882,1,1),
(884,'2010-01-25','2010-01-25 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-25 10:26:57',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,26,215,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,882,1,1),
(885,'2010-01-25','2010-01-25 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-25 11:04:15',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,26,215,7,8,'DJ\'s up to his eyes in dodgy tax returns so, for the first time in ages, there\'s a decent turn out on a course fit for play. Unusually Fat-Boy manages a straightforward toss and it\'s Gentlemen (himself, Brett and Mr. Grumpy) vs Players (The Rest).\r\n\r\nA new Steward is in place and naturally Fat-Boy is on first name terms already, but the half-way house has been demolished in anticipation of a brick-built kitchen and two traps so all that remains is a concrete plinth. However, Fat-Boy has risen early and cooked bacon baps for the boys which are distributed on the 1st tee. Come the 10th tee they are cold and a bit squashed but very welcome nonetheless.\r\n\r\nAt half-way it\'s a 40 point tie but on the back 9 the three ball lose all form to lose the match by a decent margin. Highlight of the day is Tate\'s shanked chip into a bunker from the green-side of the stream on 18 to collect the camels.\r\n\r\nFurther evidence of the flawed nature of the construction of the competition is provided by Mr. Grumpy who, once again, takes the individual honours but loses the match, the money and suffers a handicap cut.\r\n\r\nThis is mirrored later in the day by the FA Cup whereby a team that can play football i.e. Arsenal are eliminateed by one that patently can\'t i.e. Stoke City.',1,'','',200,882,1,1),
(886,'2010-01-31','2010-01-31 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-31 23:49:39',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,24,196,7,8,'Last Sunday in January and the cold snap continues, but it\'s full greens and only Cutie-Cutie is absent. The new steward has also got his act together so Brett\'s Mom is stood down, but now has enough bacon to last her for a few weeks.\r\n\r\nAnother uncontroversial toss sends out Nance, DJ and Tate to be followed by Turbo, Fat-Boy, Brett and Mr. Grumpy who spends the entire morning doing an Ian Dury impersonation owing to his knackered Achilles tendons.\r\n\r\nThe greens are frozen such that the ideal approach lands 20 metres short and trundles onto the putting surface although the putting itself is remarkable true. The 4-ball shade the front 9 and then unexpectedly sneak the back 9 as well for a narrow victory and for the second week running, Mr. Grumpy, despite walking like Chester in pursuit of \"Mr Dillon\", notches up the ten points.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a bostin week for the fines with Fat-Boy and Nance sharing 31 camels and there\'s a smattering of OOB\'s and a duck. Highlights include Turbo\'s trick shot on the 16th tee where the ball strikes the wooden edging strip to the new rubberised astro and careers into the trees left.\r\n\r\nFinally, remember this, it may come in useful, Tonto\'s horse was called \"Scout\".',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(887,'2010-01-31','2010-01-31 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-31 15:11:42',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,24,196,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,886,1,1),
(888,'2010-01-31','2010-01-31 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-01-31 15:11:42',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,24,196,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,886,1,1),
(889,'2010-02-07','2010-02-07 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-02-07 18:00:08',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,25,179,6,8,'Mr. Grumpy will be regretting missing a Muffins event to watch his side go down to two late goals at the hands of Birmingham City.    And he’ll have a few weeks to mull over it also, with a trip to New Zealand scheduled.  Fat-Boy also missing today, having decided to play with his BBQ mates instead.  Fines a-plenty, let’s hope the camel king can add to the tally.\r\nA 7 ball despite the absentees, with DJ adopting the risky strategy of bringing a guest, a camel-by-proxy fine is always a possibility in these circumstances.\r\nWith the top-tosser not in attendance, Cutie-Cutie steps up to the plate.  Fat-Boy would have been proud of his first toss, and indeed would have made some arbitrary decision on the parings, however Cutie-Cuties integrity wins the day and a 2nd toss is required to decide the teams.  So it was that Nance accompanied the camel kings, Tate and Turbo, up the first.\r\nA steady front 9 from the 3 amigos found them 3 shots clear at the turn.  Helped, no doubt, by the early sustenance provided by an early bacon sandwich at the 3rd.    The back nine was a different story, however, with Tate, in particular, losing whatever game he had at the start.  A trip to Bromsgrove Golf Centre apparently is planned, apparently “Charlie can’t fix whats wrong with my swing”.  And so it was that defeat was grabbed from the jaws of victory.\r\nTrue to form, Tate picks up the camels.    DJ does likewise, though he hasn’t let on whether they were camels-by-proxy, or not.  DJ comes up trumps on the individual, also, gaining 4 points on Nance to take the leads in the racer to the title.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(890,'2010-02-07','2010-02-07 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-02-07 15:38:12',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,25,179,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,889,1,1),
(891,'2010-02-07','2010-02-07 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-02-07 15:38:12',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,35,25,179,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,889,1,1),
(892,'2010-02-14','2010-02-14 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-02-15 10:18:39',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,30,26,142,5,8,'No match report as yet so I\'ll fill the void. Yes, Mr. Grumpy is well thank you for asking. Currently resident in Dunedin which is 13 hours ahead and 20 years behind. Staying just up the road from Carisbrooke - better known as \"the house of pain\" where Otago regularly give the British Lions a tatering.\r\n\r\nThe weather is OK - think Scottish summer without the midges - and the scenery spectacular. The low scores in today\'s Muffins match are indicative of crap weather or crap golf so I\'ll assume the former. Hope you are all well.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(893,'2010-02-14','2010-02-14 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-02-14 14:03:37',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,26,143,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,892,1,1),
(894,'2010-02-14','2010-02-14 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-02-14 14:03:37',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,30,26,142,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,892,1,1),
(895,'2010-02-14','2010-02-14 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-02-14 14:03:37',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,30,26,142,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,892,1,1),
(896,'2010-02-28','2010-02-28 08:00:00',12,2,89,89,'','2010-03-02 12:30:51',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,36,24,127,4,8,'Villa are at Wemberley for the 1st time in ten years which precludes attendance from Tate, Turbo and DJ. Cutie-Cutie is with his offspring thus it\'s just 4 musketeers that brave the predicted monsoon. As it happens the monsoon turns out to be no\'but a dribble, although conditions underfoot are extemely moist.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy pairs himself up with Mr. Grumpy - a decision hat proves unwise as Mr. G has left his fabled short game in New Zealand leaving Nance and Brett to achieve a reasonably comfortable victory. Nance\'s level two\'s is enough for the individual 10 points. \r\n\r\nA high point is achieved on the 9th where Brett, having found the right-hand bunker short of the green, enquires whether he\'s eligible for a de-camel. There is little standing water evident and on close inspection Fat-Boy declares that he\'s actually seen Lucy much wetter than Brett\'s lie. With commendable sang-froid, Brett gets up and down for his par.\r\n\r\nWhilst Mr. Grumpy\'s driving is OK, his short irons are lamentable such that having accrued most of the camels he even snatches them away from Fat-Boy with a thinned 60 degree lob wedge into the back bunker on 18. The word from the City is that the wise invester will pile into Four Ashes Golf Centre futures this week.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(897,'2010-02-28','2010-02-28 08:00:00',12,2,89,89,'','2010-03-02 12:11:03',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,36,24,127,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,896,1,1),
(898,'2010-02-28','2010-02-28 08:00:00',12,2,89,89,'','2010-03-02 12:11:03',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,36,24,127,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,896,1,1),
(899,'2010-03-14','2010-03-14 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-16 20:26:53',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,28,116,4,8,'The best morning of the year so far and a spell of good weather has brought the greenkeepers out of hibernation thus the greens have been dressed and hollow tined and there\'s even sign of progress on the 8th and 13th.\r\n\r\nLike his favourite manager, Cutie-Cutie has a bad side so will be missing for a few weeks and is thus excused from Owls fines pro-tem. Fat-Boy is off skiing and there\'s no sign of DJ and Tate so Mr. Grumpy and Turbo take on the Bicker Twins - Nance and Brett. \r\n\r\nIn the event it\'s no contest. Mr. Grumpy and Turbo take both nines by the convincing margin of just one point and with £4 quid in his sky rocket Turbo takes his Mom to Da Corrado\'s for a Mothering Sunday treat.\r\n\r\nThe shock news is that Mr. Grumpy finishes his round with as many clubs as he started (just 13 since you ask - Callaway still have the other one) and even leads the individual scores with a conservative 31 points. By co-incidence this is about the number of putts Nance has on the back 9. A visit to the putter shop is expected.\r\n\r\nFinally, news of the chicken. Having moulted all its feathers in some sort of post-traumatic stress syndrome, the bird is now back in full plumage and with its arse still firmly in place, is strutting confidently around Brett\'s acres',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(900,'2010-03-14','2010-03-14 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-16 20:07:19',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,28,116,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,899,1,1),
(901,'2010-03-07','2010-03-07 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-16 20:16:02',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(902,'2010-03-07','2010-03-07 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-16 20:16:31',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(903,'2010-03-07','2010-03-07 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-16 20:36:59',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,40,24,212,7,8,'Due to web hosting issues, this report is being written some 9 days after the event thus details are sketchy. As far as your correspondent can remember, himself, Brett and Turbo dashed off at 8am to be followed by Fat-Boy, Tate, Nance and DJ. \r\n\r\nWith the exception of Fat-Boy who totted up about 40 points and spread-eagled the field, it was not a good day at the office. The 4-ball took the dosh, Tate bagged the camels with another last ditch effort and Mr. Grumpy\'s 8 iron inexplicably fell apart when lashed against the edge of the mat on the 13th tee.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(904,'2010-03-07','2010-03-07 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-16 20:19:56',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,40,24,212,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,903,1,1),
(905,'2010-03-14','2010-03-14 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-16 20:07:19',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,31,28,116,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,899,1,1),
(906,'2010-03-07','2010-03-07 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-16 20:19:56',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,40,24,212,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,903,1,1),
(907,'2010-03-07','2010-03-07 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-16 20:35:30',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,40,24,212,7,8,'Due to web hosting issues, this report is being written some 9 days after the event thus details are sketchy. As far as your correspondent can remember, himself, Brett and Turbo dashed off at 8am to be followed by Fat-Boy, Tate, Nance and DJ. \r\n\r\nWith the exception of Fat-Boy who totted up about 40points and spread-eagled the field, it was not a good day at the office. The 4-ball took the dosh, Tate bagged the camles with another last ditch effort and Mr. Grumpy\'s 8 iron inexplicably fell apart when lashed against the edge of the mat on the 13th tee.',1,'','',200,903,1,1),
(908,'2010-03-21','2010-03-21 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-22 10:05:14',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,26,194,6,8,'Only 6 Muffins today as the bulletin on the palace gates suggests that Cutie-Cutie\'s operation has gone fine, but he\'ll be out for a number of weeks and DJ (\"just call me Cyclops\") Harding has only one eye.\r\n\r\nBrett, Fat-Boy and Nance set off confident of a victory but Tate, Mr. Grumpy and Turbo have all the handicap allowances. Unfortunately only Turbo has a golf game to go with them. The back 9 is halved but the low men shave the front nine and take £3 as a consequence. Turbo\'s excellent winning 37 points is all the more commendable having partned two such volcanic personalities as Tate and Mr. Grumpy - an experience Turbo describes as playing in the eye of a nuclear holocaust.\r\n\r\nAll is now set for the \"Away Day\" at Coxmoor on Friday but there is hot news on the Tour front as Cutie-Cutie\'s injury and Mr. Grumpy\'s failure to find another Government quango to milk reduces the numbers to an awkward 5-ball. A truncated 3-day Tour to only Burnham, Saunton and Westwood Ho! is now likely. Mr. Grumpy is to negotiate the return of deposits from St Enodoc and Trevose and will also contact \"Costcutter\" for potential sponsorship.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(909,'2010-03-21','2010-03-21 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-22 09:47:28',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,26,194,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,908,1,1),
(910,'2010-03-21','2010-03-21 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-22 09:47:28',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,37,26,194,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,908,1,1),
(911,'2010-03-28','2010-03-28 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-04-04 08:32:05',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,22,121,4,8,'An awkward 5-ball was forecast for the last match of the winter season with Fat-Boy en-route to Scotland, Cutie-Cutie recouperating from surgery, and Turbo nursing the lovely Marie from her recent surgery.  However Mr. Grumpy concluded a combination of attendance at his own 60th surprise birthday bash and the clocks going forward were too much to handle and a late cry-off was the result.\r\n\r\nBrett was struggling to concentrate for the early part of the round, having received the text from Turbo that he was unable to play because he was nursing Marie over the weekend, Brett couldn\'t get a picture of Turbo in a nurses uniform out of his mind.\r\n\r\nHaving assumed the role of tosser for the day, and choosing to partner DJ, Nance promptly hits driver, rescue to 4 feet on the first, only to make a BPLS.  A sign of things to come.  Indeed, Nance and DJ struggled to find form on the front 9 and found themselves 3 shots down on the 8th tee.  The deficit was eradicated by the turn, help in no small part by a chip in from DJ at the 8th, so that at the turn Nance and DJ were all-square with Tate and Brett.\r\n\r\nTates back 9 starts expensively, with a pulled drive OOB. His reload is also pulled, and amusingly rebounds off the top of the gate to the adjacent flats, and back into play.  It was to no avail, however, a blob was the ultimate result.\r\n\r\nNance and DJ comfortably take the back 9 in the end, and focus returned to the race for the Jack Shit Trophy which was going down to the wire.  Nance needed to overturn a two shot deficit on the 18th in order to take the title, but in doing so, picks up a blob.  DJs par 5 was good enough to take the match individual honours and the Jack Shit title.\r\n\r\nThe camel king inevitably takes the camel honours, and with a couple of boobs, it proved to be another expensive day for Tate.  His form from Friday pm is now only a distant memory.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(912,'2010-03-28','2010-03-28 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-28 14:24:04',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,22,121,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,911,1,1),
(913,'2010-03-26','2010-03-26 08:00:00',14,180,157,157,'','2010-03-28 14:30:53',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,23,155,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(914,'2010-03-26','2010-03-26 08:00:00',14,180,157,157,'','2010-03-28 14:30:53',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,36,23,149,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,913,1,1),
(915,'2010-03-26','2010-03-26 08:00:00',14,180,157,157,'','2010-03-28 14:30:53',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,32,36,23,151,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,913,1,1),
(916,'2010-03-26','2010-03-26 08:00:00',14,180,157,157,'','2010-03-28 14:30:53',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,37,23,155,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,913,1,1),
(917,'2010-03-26','2010-03-26 14:00:00',14,180,157,157,'','2010-03-28 14:42:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,40,25,172,5,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(918,'2010-03-26','2010-03-26 14:00:00',14,180,157,157,'','2010-03-28 14:42:17',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,40,25,172,5,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,917,1,1),
(919,'2010-03-28','2010-03-28 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-28 14:24:04',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,911,1,1),
(920,'2010-03-28','2010-03-28 08:00:00',12,2,67,67,'','2010-03-28 18:10:18',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,22,121,4,8,'An awkward 5-ball was forecast for the last match of the winter season with Fat-Boy en-route to Scotland, Cutie-Cutie recouperating from surgery, and Turbo nursing the lovely Marie from her recent surgery.  However Mr. Grumpy concluded a combination of attendance at his own 60th surprise birthday bash and the clocks going forward were too much to handle and a late cry-off was the result.\r\n\r\nBrett was struggling to concentrate for the early part of the round, having received the text from Turbo that he was unable to play because he was nursing Marie over the weekend, Brett couldn\'t get a picture of Turbo in a nurses uniform out of his mind.\r\n\r\nHaving assumed the role of tosser for the day, and choosing to partner DJ, Nance promptly hits driver, rescue to 4 feet on the first, only to make a BPLS.  A sign of things to come.  Indeed, Nance and DJ struggled to find form on the front 9 and found themselves 3 shots down on the 8th tee.  The deficit was eradicated by the turn, help in no small part by a chip in from DJ at the 8th, so that at the turn Nance and DJ were all-square with Tate and Brett.\r\n\r\nTates back 9 starts expensively, with a pulled drive OOB. His reload is also pulled, and amusingly rebounds off the top of the gate to the adjacent flats, and back into play.  It was to no avail, however a blob was the ultimate result.\r\n\r\nNance and DJ comfortably take the back 9 in the end, and focus returned to the race for the Jack Shit Trophy which was going down to the wire.  Nance needed to overturn a two shot deficit on the 18th in order to take the title, but in doing so, picks up a blob.  DJs par 5 was good enough to take the match individual honours and the Jack Shit title.\r\n\r\nThe camel king inevitably takes the camel honours, and with a couple of boobs, it proved to be another expensive day for Tate.  His form from Friday pm is now only a distant memory.',1,'','',200,911,1,1),
(921,'2010-04-05','2010-04-05 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-05 10:44:01',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(922,'2010-04-04','2010-04-04 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-06 10:21:47',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,19,183,6,8,'The inaugural fixture of the Summer 2010 season, but the weather is anything but seasonal, Spring having been delayed until Cutie-Cutie\'s return apparently.\r\n\r\nDJ is decorating, but with a Grand Prix, two footie matches and some golf to watch, unless B&Q sell a brush which allows one to reach the wall from the couch, we doubt that much will be achieved.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy decides to play with Mr. Grumpy and Tate leaving Turbo to arbitrate between the Bicker Twins. Tate is putting in a card which means that although he still qualifies for Muffins \"gimmes\", he still has to put the ball in the hole. A couple of 4-stabs are the result which perhaps is a pointer to the sort of gimmes he should receive for the remainder of the year.\r\n\r\nIn the event it\'s a clear cut victory for Nance, Turbo and Brett with some reasonable scoring - apart from Fat-Boy who tears some sort of muscle in his shoulder blades early doors and struggles throughout. Nance takes the ten points and a few camels to lead the chase for the Girlie-Bunt Trophy.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(923,'2010-04-04','2010-04-04 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-05 11:43:08',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,19,183,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,922,1,1),
(924,'2010-04-04','2010-04-04 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-05 11:43:08',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,19,183,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,922,1,1),
(925,'2010-04-04','2010-04-04 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-06 10:16:46',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,35,19,183,6,8,'The inaugural fixture of the Summer 2010 season, but the wather is anything but seasonal, Spring having been delayed until Cutie-Cutie\'s return apparently.\r\n\r\nDJ is decorating, but with a Grand Prix, two footie matches and some golf to watch, unless B&Q sell a brush which allows one to reach the wall from the couch, we doubt that much will be achieved.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy decides to play with Mr. Grumpy and Tate leaving Turbo to arbitrate between the Bicker Twins. Tate is putting in a card which means that although he still qualifies for Muffins \"gimmes\", he still has to put the ball in the hole. A couple of 4-stabs are the result which is a pointer to the sort of gimmes he should receive for the remainder of the year.\r\n\r\nIn the event it\'s a clear cut victory for Nance, Turbo and Brett with some reasonable scoring - apart from Fat-Boy who tears some sort of muscle in his shoulder blades early doors and struggles throughout. Nance takes the ten points and a few camels to lead the chase for the Girlie-Bunt Trophy.',1,'','',200,922,1,1),
(926,'2010-04-11','2010-04-11 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-12 10:39:22',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,43,27,229,7,8,'No Cutie-Cutie whilst the back problem clears up (and yes, we do need the photo of those stockings) so it\'s a 7-Up for week two. Suspiciously Fat-Boy asks each player to identify their ball before the toss, there being 8 in his hands, but ultimately chooses the wrong compadres and is on the end of a Tatering (geddit??).\r\n\r\nTate spreadeagles the field with 43 points and a handy gross 92 in his quest for handicap respectability. Only Mr. Grumpy picks up any Muffin points and, had his 4 footer for a point not found the cup on the 12th, the likelihood is that he would have headed straight for the clubhouse with his putter in pieces.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a useful day on the fines front with camels, ducks and OOB\'s galore.\r\n\r\nOther news includes a progress report on Turbo\'s faulty trousers which, you\'ll recall, split right across the a**e on just the third outing. On returning them to the dodgy golf shop he\'s been told \"I\'ll show them to the rep\".\r\n\r\nWhether the warehouse from which the said trousers were probably liberated does refunds remains to be seen.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(927,'2010-04-11','2010-04-11 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-12 10:09:10',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,43,27,229,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,926,1,1),
(928,'2010-04-11','2010-04-11 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-12 10:09:10',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,43,27,229,7,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,926,1,1),
(929,'2010-04-11','2010-04-11 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-12 10:30:13',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,34,43,27,229,7,8,'No Cutie-Cutie whilst the back problem clears up (and yes, we do need the photo of those stockings) so it\'s a 7-Up for week two. Suspiciously Fat-Boy asks each player to identify their ball before the toss, there being 8 in his hands, but ultimately chooses the wrong compadres and is on the end of a Tatering (geddit??).\r\n\r\nTate spreadeagles the field with 43 points and a handy gross 92 in his quest for handicap respectability. Only Mr. Grumpy picks up any Muffin points and, had his 4 footer for a point not found the cup on the 12th, the likelihood is that he would have headed striaght for the clubhouse with his putter in pieces.\r\n\r\nIt\'s a useful day on the fines front with camels, ducks and OOB\'s galore.',1,'','',200,926,1,1),
(930,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-18 14:18:07',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,62,39,238,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(931,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-18 14:18:07',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,36,62,39,238,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,930,1,1),
(932,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-20 00:51:58',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,28,151,5,8,'Week 3. Cutie-Cutie continues his rehabilitation and Fat-Boy and Tate are at opposite ends of the country, so it\'s an awkward 5-ball from the 6th tee.\r\n\r\nSomeone tosses up and DJ is paired with Turbo.\r\n\r\nThere then occurs an unfortunate shift in the time-space continuum which causes Nance to play a course located in a parallel dimension. It looks remarkably like Olton, but it\'s located some 50 yards to the right.\r\n\r\nEarly doors it\'s clear it\'s going to be a lucrative day on the camels front with a tally of 6 racked up by the end of the second hole - something that Mr. Grumpy will live to regret. \r\n\r\nA welcome visitor is Cutie-Cutie who takes advantage of the spring sunshine to join the boys for a stroll - though disappointingly he arrives too late to buy the sandwiches. In the event it\'s a reasonably close and competitive match with the 3-ball shading both 9\'s and the match. With 3 holes to go Nance reappears from a galaxy far, far away to add a closing 8 points and his individual 33 is enough to take the \"Muffin\'s Ten\" from DJ with 31.\r\n\r\nWith 22 camels to play for on the 5th and final hole an exciting finish was always in prospect and so it proves with Mr. Grumpy adding another 2 to Turbo\'s ill-disguised relief. With 3 OOB\'s to add, it\'s an expensive day for the Grumpster. Mind you, he\'s had to keep all five individual scores, two team scores, count the camels, buy the sarnies and find more balls in his bag. ',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(933,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-19 10:23:56',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,27,150,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,932,1,1),
(934,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-19 10:23:56',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,28,151,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,932,1,1),
(935,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-19 10:23:56',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,28,151,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,932,1,1),
(936,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-19 10:23:56',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,28,151,5,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,932,1,1),
(937,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-19 10:46:45',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,28,151,5,8,'Week3. Cutie-Cutie continues his rehabilitation and Fat-Boy and Tate are at opposite ends of the country so it\'s an awkward 5-ball from the 6th tee. Someone tosses up and DJ is paired with Turbo.\r\n\r\nThere\'s then an unfortunate shift in the time-space continuum which causes Nance to have to play a course in a parallel dimension. It looks suspiciously like Olton but it\'s shifted 50 yards to the right.\r\n\r\nEarly doors it\'s clear it\'s going to be a lucrative day on the camels front with a tally of 6 achieved by the end of the second hole - something that Mr. Grumpy will live to regret. \r\n\r\nA welcome visitor is Cutie-Cutie who takes advantage of the spring sunshine to join the boys for a stoll - although arrives too late to buy the sandwiches. In the event it\'s a reasonably close and competitive match with the 3-ball shading both 9\'s and the match. With 3 holes to go Nance reappears from a universe far, far away to add another 8 points and his individual 33 is enough to take the Muffin\'s Ten from DJ with 31.\r\n\r\nWith 22 camels to play for on the 5th and final hole an exciting finish was always in prospect and so it proves with Mr. Grumpy adding another 2 to Turbo\'s ill-disguised relief. With 3 OOB\'s to add, it\'s an expensive day for the Grumpster.',1,'','',200,932,1,1),
(938,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-19 10:55:53',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,28,151,5,8,'Week 3. Cutie-Cutie continues his rehabilitation and Fat-Boy and Tate are at opposite ends of the country, so it\'s an awkward 5-ball from the 6th tee.\r\n\r\nSomeone tosses up and DJ is paired with Turbo.\r\n\r\nThere then occurs an unfortunate shift in the time-space continuum which causes Nance to play a course located in a parallel dimension. It looks remarkably like Olton, but it\'s located some 50 yards to the right.\r\n\r\nEarly doors it\'s clear it\'s going to be a lucrative day on the camels front with a tally of 6 racked up by the end of the second hole - something that Mr. Grumpy will live to regret. \r\n\r\nA welcome visitor is Cutie-Cutie who takes advantage of the spring sunshine to join the boys for a stroll - though dissapointingly he arrives too late to buy the sandwiches. In the event it\'s a reasonably close and competitive match with the 3-ball shading both 9\'s and the match. With 3 holes to go Nance reappears from a universe far, far away to add a closing 8 points and his individual 33 is enough to take the \"Muffin\'s Ten\" from DJ with 31.\r\n\r\nWith 22 camels to play for on the 5th and final hole an exciting finish was always in prospect and so it proves with Mr. Grumpy adding another 2 to Turbo\'s ill-disguised relief. With 3 OOB\'s to add, it\'s an expensive day for the Grumpster. Mind you, he\'s had to keep all five individual scores, two team scores, count the camels, buy the sarnies and find more balls in his bag. ',1,'','',200,932,1,1),
(939,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-19 10:57:08',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,28,151,5,8,'Week 3. Cutie-Cutie continues his rehabilitation and Fat-Boy and Tate are at opposite ends of the country, so it\'s an awkward 5-ball from the 6th tee.\r\n\r\nSomeone tosses up and DJ is paired with Turbo.\r\n\r\nThere then occurs an unfortunate shift in the time-space continuum which causes Nance to play a course located in a parallel dimension. It looks remarkably like Olton, but it\'s located some 50 yards to the right.\r\n\r\nEarly doors it\'s clear it\'s going to be a lucrative day on the camels front with a tally of 6 racked up by the end of the second hole - something that Mr. Grumpy will live to regret. \r\n\r\nA welcome visitor is Cutie-Cutie who takes advantage of the spring sunshine to join the boys for a stroll - though dissapointingly he arrives too late to buy the sandwiches. In the event it\'s a reasonably close and competitive match with the 3-ball shading both 9\'s and the match. With 3 holes to go Nance reappears from a universe far, far away to add a closing 8 points and his individual 33 is enough to take the \"Muffin\'s Ten\" from DJ with 31.\r\n\r\nWith 22 camels to play for on the 5th and final hole an exciting finish was always in prospect and so it proves with Mr. Grumpy adding another 2 to Turbo\'s ill-disguised relief. With 3 OOB\'s to add, it\'s an expensive day for the Grumpster. Mind you, he\'s had to keep all five individual scores, two team scores, count the camels, buy the sarnies and find more balls in his bag. ',1,'','',200,932,1,1),
(940,'2010-04-18','2010-04-18 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-20 00:51:12',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,33,28,151,5,8,'Week 3. Cutie-Cutie continues his rehabilitation and Fat-Boy and Tate are at opposite ends of the country, so it\'s an awkward 5-ball from the 6th tee.\r\n\r\nSomeone tosses up and DJ is paired with Turbo.\r\n\r\nThere then occurs an unfortunate shift in the time-space continuum which causes Nance to play a course located in a parallel dimension. It looks remarkably like Olton, but it\'s located some 50 yards to the right.\r\n\r\nEarly doors it\'s clear it\'s going to be a lucrative day on the camels front with a tally of 6 racked up by the end of the second hole - something that Mr. Grumpy will live to regret. \r\n\r\nA welcome visitor is Cutie-Cutie who takes advantage of the spring sunshine to join the boys for a stroll - though dissapointingly he arrives too late to buy the sandwiches. In the event it\'s a reasonably close and competitive match with the 3-ball shading both 9\'s and the match. With 3 holes to go Nance reappears from a galaxy far, far away to add a closing 8 points and his individual 33 is enough to take the \"Muffin\'s Ten\" from DJ with 31.\r\n\r\nWith 22 camels to play for on the 5th and final hole an exciting finish was always in prospect and so it proves with Mr. Grumpy adding another 2 to Turbo\'s ill-disguised relief. With 3 OOB\'s to add, it\'s an expensive day for the Grumpster. Mind you, he\'s had to keep all five individual scores, two team scores, count the camels, buy the sarnies and find more balls in his bag. ',1,'','',200,932,1,1),
(941,'2010-04-25','2010-04-25 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-26 10:58:44',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,0,0,0,0,0,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(942,'2010-04-25','2010-04-25 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-26 12:50:52',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,35,32,134,4,8,'The bi-annual 2nd City punch-up occupies DJ, Tate and Turbo and Fat-Boy deserts the Muffins for his \"other friends\" so Bones is drafted in to accompany Nance, Brett and The Grumpster in a convivial 4-ball. \r\n\r\nFat-Boy has attended the previous night\'s AGM which has developed into both a session and a curry and now looks terrible having been out of bed for only ten minutes when he arrives at the club. Thre are reports are that he still finishes up on the winning team, further enhancing his reputation for still being able to play competently when bladdered.\r\n\r\nIn the match proper Nance and Mr. Grumpy knit together well to claim both nines and the £4 from Brett and Bones, though the individual scores are close. Much of the morning is taken up with the news that Brett has had a long conversation with his Planning Officer and has only just avoided calling her a lesbian and that he\'s also resurrected the idea of buying a caravan. He thinks he might place it at the Mumbles which, should there be no space at West Wittering in West Sussex, seems the most appropriate alternative.\r\n\r\nAside from the 10 points, Nance collects 13 camels and Mr. Grumpy adds a couple of OOB\'s.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(943,'2010-04-25','2010-04-25 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-26 12:29:22',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,35,32,134,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,942,1,1),
(944,'2010-04-25','2010-04-25 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-04-26 12:29:22',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,35,32,134,4,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,942,1,1),
(945,'2010-05-02','2010-05-02 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-05-03 10:28:20',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,182,6,8,'May arrives with a cold \"nor-easterly\" but 6 Muffins brave the unseasonal conditions with only Brett absent. Non-playing Cutie-Cutie pops up for a walk and a chat, but once again times his run to perfection to arrive one hole after the sandwiches.\r\n\r\nTurbo, DJ and Fat-Boy head off and Turbo dumps his first shot into the stream but, with considerable sang-froid, puts all this behind him to tot up 34 points and take the ten Muffins points for the 1st time in the Summer comp.\r\n\r\nBringing up the rear are Nance, Tate and Mr. Grumpy. The latter has lost his game completely - again- and musters only 9 points going out whilst Nance and Tate garner 20 and 18 respectively. But in the game of two halves that the Muffins are famous for, Mr. G somehows contrives to get 18 points coming home whilst Nance and Tate slump to 13 and 8. Naturally this allows them to lose the match and the £4 convincingly.\r\n\r\nFines-wise it\'s a bumper day. with Owls, Camels, Ducks and OOB\'s a-plenty to swell the fund by £19.25. And in an interesting test of the rules there is a query as to whether Tate\'s throwing his wedge into the stream following his ball should actually constitute two Ducks rather than one.\r\n\r\nFinally Fat-Boy uses the morning\'s exercise to tone up some of his muscles, most notably the one controlling his sphincter which, from the 13th hole onwards, is under some pressure to release the previous night\'s Chicken Jalfrezi into the commodious environs of his underwear. To the relief of his team-mates he reaches the sanctuary of the clubhouse without incident.\r\n\r\nUntil the start of Tour on Thursday Mr. Grumpy is having his meals and mail re-directed to Four Ashes Golf Centre where he has now taken up residence.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(946,'2010-05-02','2010-05-02 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-05-02 16:54:15',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,24,180,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,945,1,1),
(947,'2010-05-02','2010-05-02 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-05-02 16:54:15',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,182,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,945,1,1),
(948,'2010-05-02','2010-05-02 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-05-02 16:54:15',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,182,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,945,1,1),
(949,'2010-05-02','2010-05-02 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-05-02 16:54:15',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,182,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,945,1,1),
(950,'2010-05-02','2010-05-02 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-05-03 10:22:01',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,182,6,8,'May arrives with a cold \"Nor-easterly\" but 6 Muffins brave the unseasonal conditions with only Brett absent. Non-playing Cutie-Cutie pops up for a walk and a chat, but once again times his run to perfection arriving one hole after the sandwiches.\r\n\r\nTurbo, DJ and Fat-Boy head off and Tubo dumps his first shot into the stream but, with considerable sang-froid, puts all this behind him to tot up 34 points and take the ten Muffins points for the 1st time in the Summer comp.\r\n\r\nBringing up the rear are Nance, Tate and Mr. Grumpy. The latter has lost his game completely - again- and musters only 9 points going out whilst Nance and Tate muster 20 and 18 respectively. But, in the game of two halves that the Muffins are famous for, Mr. G somehows contrives to get 18 points coming home whilst Nance and Tate slump to 13 and 8. Naturally this allows them to lose the match and the £4 convincingly.\r\n\r\nFines-wise it\'s a bumper day. with Owls, Camels, Ducks and OOB\'s a-plenty to swell the fund by £19.25. And iIn an interesting testing of the rules there is a query as to whether Tate\'s throwing of his wedge into the stream following his ball shouls actually constitute two Ducks.\r\n\r\nFinally Fat-Boy uses the morning\'s exercise to tone up some of his muscles, most notably the one controlling his sphincter which, from the 13th hole onwards, is under some pressure to release the previous night\'s Chicken Jalfrezi into the commodious environs of his underwear. To the relief of his team-mates he reaches the sanctuary of the clubhouse without incident.',1,'','',200,945,1,1),
(951,'2010-05-02','2010-05-02 08:00:00',15,2,67,67,'','2010-05-03 10:25:48',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,26,182,6,8,'May arrives with a cold \"nor-easterly\" but 6 Muffins brave the unseasonal conditions with only Brett absent. Non-playing Cutie-Cutie pops up for a walk and a chat, but once again times his run to perfection to arrive one hole after the sandwiches.\r\n\r\nTurbo, DJ and Fat-Boy head off and Turbo dumps his first shot into the stream but, with considerable sang-froid, puts all this behind him to tot up 34 points and take the ten Muffins points for the 1st time in the Summer comp.\r\n\r\nBringing up the rear are Nance, Tate and Mr. Grumpy. The latter has lost his game completely - again- and musters only 9 points going out whilst Nance and Tate garner 20 and 18 respectively. But in the game of two halves that the Muffins are famous for, Mr. G somehows contrives to get 18 points coming home whilst Nance and Tate slump to 13 and 8. Naturally this allows them to lose the match and the £4 convincingly.\r\n\r\nFines-wise it\'s a bumper day. with Owls, Camels, Ducks and OOB\'s a-plenty to swell the fund by £19.25. And in an interesting test of the rules there is a query as to whether Tate\'s throwing his wedge into the stream following his ball should actually constitute two Ducks rather than one.\r\n\r\nFinally Fat-Boy uses the morning\'s exercise to tone up some of his muscles, most notably the one controlling his sphincter which, from the 13th hole onwards, is under some pressure to release the previous night\'s Chicken Jalfrezi into the commodious environs of his underwear. To the relief of his team-mates he reaches the sanctuary of the clubhouse without incident.',1,'','',200,945,1,1),
(952,'2010-05-08','2010-05-08 14:00:00',13,153,180,180,'','2010-05-03 18:58:36',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,44,23,188,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,0,1,1),
(953,'2010-05-08','2010-05-08 14:00:00',13,153,180,180,'','2010-05-03 18:58:36',1,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,44,23,188,6,14,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,952,1,1),
(954,'2010-05-06','2010-05-06 08:00:00',13,153,180,180,'','2010-05-09 16:46:23',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,18,169,6,8,'Day 1 of the 2010 (mini) Tour and having passed through a monsoon at Weston super Mare, the boys arrive at Burnham and Berrow for a spot of scran. This allows the weather to sort itself out and commensurate with Mr. Grumpy\'s fabled organisational skills, the sun comes out for a fine afternoon.\r\n\r\nFat-Boy and Nance are out of the traps early and both notch up 34 individual points in the quest for the Tour Trophy but, with Tate having a bit of a mare, fail to compile a combined score sufficient to take the match money. This goes to Bainey, DJ and Mr. Grumpy.\r\n\r\nWith parliamentary candidates all over the country losing their deposits, Bainey adopts the opposite position and actually leaves quite a substantial deposit in the scrub land behind the 10th tee. He claims this is the first time this has happened but the prescence of both tissues AND wet-wipes in his bag suggests that he might have a bit of \"previous\" in this regard.\r\n\r\nOfficial business over, it\'s off to the Ritz Carlton Ilfracombe for B&B.\r\n\r\nIlfracombe appears to be shut.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(955,'2010-05-06','2010-05-06 08:00:00',13,153,180,180,'','2010-05-06 19:52:02',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,34,18,169,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,954,1,1),
(956,'2010-05-07','2010-05-07 08:00:00',13,93,176,176,'','2010-05-09 17:06:45',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,31,33,24,170,6,8,'After an acceptable Eyetie meal the tourists are kept awake until the early hours watching the the attempt to evict Big Gordon from Number 10. Even as late as Sunday afternoon when this report is being written, this is yet to happen and the Brownster has still got all the furniture piled up against the front door.\r\n\r\nBastard.\r\n\r\nSaunton is a jewel marred only by a sharp-tongued receptionist who seems oblivious to the honour being paid to the club by the prescence of the Muffins.\r\n\r\nOn the West Course in the morning Fat-Boy has decided he\'ll partner Mr. Grumpy and Tate which turns out to be an inspired choice as he and the Grumpy one take first and second individual spots as well as all the match money. Tate is on the way back and moves confidently out of the teens into the twenties although not for nothing is he known as \"Two-ball Tate\". \r\n\r\nBainey puts it succinctly when he suggests that rather than the more normal \"risk and reward\" strategy, Tate\'s is one of \"risk and re-load\".\r\n\r\nWith an hour to kill before the assault on the East Course, luncheon is taken. The rank and file favour some sort of lamb burgery-things whilst the more discerning diner selects the local crab sandwich with a squeeze of lemon and a small rocket salad. Fat-Boy wonders whether the serving wench might be up for a squeeze of something else.',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(957,'2010-05-07','2010-05-07 08:00:00',13,93,176,176,'','2010-05-07 15:50:41',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,31,33,24,170,6,8,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,956,1,1),
(958,'2010-05-07','2010-05-07 15:00:00',13,92,168,168,'','2010-05-10 11:56:05',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,26,188,6,15,'The assault on the East Course commences at 3pm and Fat-Boy\'s prestidigitation pairs him with Bainey and DJ leaving Nance, Tate and Mr. Grumpy to bring up the rear.\r\n\r\nNance starts birdie-blob-birdie, but the pressure of long, unreachable par fours into the wind is starting to takes its toll. After two successive scores in the 30\'s Mr. Grumpy is also starting to lose it, principally through his growing inability to look at the ball. However, up steps Tate. It\'s still a \"provisional\" on nearly every tee shot, but success in finding the first attempt allows him to build a useful total.\r\n\r\nIn the event, 38 stableford points is an unassailable lead and permits him and his compadres to take the money by a bus-ride. Bainey is the only man who stays in touch with a handy 34 points. DJ\'s trouble on the greens remain with his eyesite suggesting that every hole is about 3 feet nearer than it actually is.\r\n\r\nSo, back to Ilfracombe for an Indian, a few pints and another unsuccessful attempt to find any reason why the entire place shouldn\'t be closed down and evacuated for good. The Ilfracombe tourist office\'s strapline of \"Curious Coastal Charm\" is about as unconvincing as DJ\'s putting stroke.\r\n\r\n ',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
(959,'2010-05-07','2010-05-07 15:00:00',13,92,168,168,'','2010-05-07 20:41:51',3,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,33,38,26,188,6,15,'The match report will appear here very soon, please watch this space...',1,'','',200,958,1,1),
(960,'2010-05-08','2010-05-08 14:00:00',13,83,159,159,'','2010-05-09 18:02:53',2,'1900-01-01 00:00:00',0,35,38,24,190,6,14,'Royal North Devon or \"Westwood Ho! is not for the faint-hearted. Open, wind-swept, shit-strewn (even before Bainey), it lies under a Turner-esque sky largely unchanged since Old Tom Morris made a rare excursion away from his beloved St Andrews to potter about with a trowel and a few flags.\r\n\r\nIn the eyes of Mr. Grumpy it\'s a gem, golf as originally envisaged and just as God intended. In Nance\'s opinion it would benefit from the attentions of a tractor and a couple of hundred-weight of seed potatoes.\r\n\r\n\"Chacun a son gou\" as they say.\r\n\r\nOver a leisurely lunch in the unique clubhouse the rain abates and DJ, Tate, and Bainey lead the way, followed by Fat-Boy, Nance and Mr. Grumpy. \r\n\r\nThe first 7 or 8 holes are into a strong gale which causes numerous problems including banana shots, bunker mayhem, lies in rabbit holes and lies in spiny, spikey things plus slick windswept greens . The next 5 holes are generally with the wind, but involve playing over the infamous player-devouring \"triffids\". The final 5 holes are a piece of piss.\r\n\r\nTate\'s renaissance is complete and another 38 points, ably supported by Bainey allow him to collect both the individual and team honours. Fat-Boy scores a creditable 34 which, in tandem with steady performances throughout the Tour deservedly brings him the 2010 Tour title.\r\n\r\nA good three days during which - and despite all indications to the contrary- no waterproofs and umbrellas were ever required. Excellent courses - although Mr. Grumpy\'s opinion of RNDGC is somewhat less rosy - and as ever, excellent company.\r\n\r\nFurther research has revealed that Ilfracombe is yet to be \"twinned\" with any other town, but it has a suicide pact with both Chernobyl and Bhopal.\r\n\r\n',1,'','',200,0,0,1),
