Tour Day 3 sees the Muffins journey 40 mins north from Inverness to Tain GC for 36 holes. Bainey is the only tourist who's played it before and he describes it as "quite open, a bit like Nairn Dunbar". 



This is bollocks. 


It's as tight as a gnats chuff, gorse aplenty and narrow fairways requiring single file progress on many occasions. In order to obtain a morning round the boys have had to enter the Glenmorangie Pairs Competition sponsored by the local distillery of the same name. The rules are too arcane for explanation here, but involve pairing up with a few locals of dubious handicap proficiency. The general narrowness proves too much for Tate and Mr. Grumpy who both shoot a decent cricket score, but the combination of Nance and Fat-Boy do enough to be just out of the prizes, each blaming the other for the failure.

Guido and Bainey sneak into the 30's but DJ's putting woes continue.

Over lunch Tate develops a back problem and DJ's throat, (I can't spell oesophagus) plays up. Popular opinion is that they've chickened out of round two on the corridor course, but anyway they decide to go and swell the 3,600 crowd at Inver Cally Thistle FC vs Gretna. They are rewarded with cheap black market tickets, a decent hot pie and 7 goals.
Meanwhile the real men hack around Tain once more. Mr. Grumpy loses a bit more ammo but improves on the morning