It's Tuesday pm and your correspondent's disillusionment with all things golf has moderated to the extent that a match report can now be filed. Unfortunately, having not stayed around for the post-match scoring corrections, details are sketchy.

The weather seems set fair and Brett discards his usual many layers in favour of a washed out 1950's Celtic shirt. Nance is fresh from an unsuccessful 36 hole outing in the Birkett Barker in which Bainey, still playing with the Inverness Tour Titleist tied to his 7 wood by a piece of string (short), has enhanced the Muffin's reputation with a stunning victory.

Fat-Boy has accepted a plea-bargain from Cutie-Cutie who is 1) allowed to play and 2) allowed to collect maximum points again with "four-oh, blind forty" as they say in bingo circles. There is a clear and present danger that he will now play sufficient matches to count, so Brett is overheard postulating other rule changes that might yet exclude the twice monthly magician.

Fat-Boy, Nance, DJ and Mr. Grumpy take the match, but only £2 with the nines being shared - although it might be noted that the nine that includes a 21 point contribution from the latter is actually lost. 

In the history of collapses, Mr Grumpy's back nine is up there with the Fall of the Roman Empire, Barings Bank and the Paragon share price, although it was actually one point better than Fat-Boy recorded.

And in a team that contains both Turbo and Tate it's no surprise that Tate steps up to the plate with the camel quotient. He is joined by DJ.