In the absence of the chief scribe, Mr. Grumpy, your stand-in reporter, Nance, has chosen to be fashionably late in the posting on this weeks match report.  Arguably, despite being posted on Wednesday, its lateness is relatively minor in comparison to previous postings from Mr. Grumpy.  Nevertheless, onwards and upwards to the story of the 3rd August match...

(Mr Grumpy adds........"Agreed, the match report has, on occasions, been a little tardy - but never as late as Wednesday. Also, Mr Grumpy takes care to avoid the undue repetition such as repeating whole sentences and the numerical inconsistencies/anomalies that feature strongly further down this page." Ends)

(PS, it didn't piss down, but I got very pissed)

The absence of Mr. Grumpy was, on this occasion due to his decision to help his lovely wife, Bev, host a BBQ for his mates. Much like Fat-Boy before him, his list of mates did not, seemingly, include the other Muffins.  We hope it pissed down.   Also missing was Tate, who was on a non-golfing trip for 3 weeks to the US of A.  On his return, that will make 6 weeks on the trot that he hasn't played a proper game of golf.  With Cutie-Cutie on a routine off-week, it was the awkward 5-ball which made its way, embarrassingly out of the way, to the 10th tee.

Chief tosser wanted to play with Nance on this occasion, so was very careful with the ball-toss.  So it was that he and Nance set off down the 10th fairway with £4 earnings in mind.   It wasn't long before Brett and DJ  had decided that the Muffins scoring system for a 2 vs. 3 match was not in their favour, and so it turned out, with Nance and Fat-Boy taking the back 9 by a short head 21-20.  

With his game in disarray, Brett was starting to get desperate as early as the 10th green (OGC 1st).  Disagreement with his partner DJ about the granting of a 2ft concession to Nance resulting in him adopting a quiet wittering approach for the last 8 holes.  As disconcerting as this was for his playing partners and the opposition, this approach seemed to help his concentration, and a backward 9 of 19 gave him a grand total of 36 points and 2nd place.  

Nance takes the individual honours.  A fine 21 points on the back 9 gave him a grand total of 37 points.  Fat-Boy and Nance take the team honours, as predicted.  Turbo, DJ and Brett in particular, continue to witter about the fairness of the Muffins 2 vs. 3 scoring calculations.  Nance and Fat-Boy conclude the rules are perfectly fair.