Bright, sunny, if a little frosty early doors it's a full house for the second Sunday in Feb's round of the Winter Comp. It's also an incident packed start with Moray relating the tale of how girlfriend Julie, in polite company, complained that "Moray won't take me up the chocolate aisle" without adding the crucial extra information "in Tesco's". Why she is so keen to engage in base carnality with the Fat-Boy in a crowded retail emporium has yet to be explained. 

Whilst Fat-Boy is speaking, Mr. Grumpy is loosening up with the R7 on the patio and sends up a shower of sparks that would make Ray Mears damp with excitement. 

There is also confusion about which tee to start from and so the toss is conducted in the middle of the 3rd fairway whilst another group of non-entities try to play through. Fat-Boy, Turbo, Tate and Mr. Grumpy head for the 6th tee while Brett, Nance, Cutie-Cutie and DJ head for the 3rd. 

On the 9th, Tate, from an excellent drive to Position A, contrives to hit a slappy, pushy, crap approach that pings off a tree by the trolley park and richochets to a two foot gimme. It's a sign and playing to Captain Fat-Boy's instructions, Team A put together two 9's of 61 points for a two shot overall victory. This despite Turbo hittng both Tate's bag from the 12th tee and Mr.Grumpy's ball with his own on the 14th fairway. 

It's less straightforward for Team B and taking ten minutes to find Cutie-Cutie's ball marker on the frosted 3rd green is an unpropitious start. 

Team A also contrive to find a use for words such as "propensity", "malevolence" and "parsimonious" during the round. These would have been wasted on the Nance who thinks that "erudite" is a type of glue. 

Individually Mr. Grumpy collects a max with 42 points with Nance and DJ in joint second with 39. In a team that contains both Tate and Turbo, Mr.Grumpy is crestfallen to collect 7 camels, but fittingly for a man who carries a broom handled sink plunger in his bag, Tate picks up a couple of ducks.