Saving the best until last, Monday sees our heroes head north to the Cromarty Firth and the world-renowned Royal Dornoch. The weather is idyllic and so proves the venue.

A gentle warm-up on the Struie Course has been scheduled. Following an inspection of the "souvies" in the pro-shop, the selection process sends out Tate, DJ and Mr. Grumpy. The "gentle warm up" is nothing of the sort as although flat, the Stuie is blessed with lots of gorse and has the added distraction of Biggles practising off a grass airstrip at the far end of the course.

Shot of the day is Mr. Grumpy's topped scrob-dobble of a chip to the green on the 3rd. As it leaves the club he loudly declaims it as a "disgrace", but it arrows for the flag and drops for a 3 nett 1 and 5 points.

Assisted by this he accrues 36 points, but is shaded by Nance on 37.

Lunch is a little rushed and Mr. Grumpy's indigestion is caused not so much by the "scotch pie, chips and beans" but by having to listen to 4 old tossers from Sussex debate at length the merits and de-merits of Waitrose champagne. Wankers.

Without time to change teams, Tate, DJ and Mr. Grumpy dash out to the Championship tee. 