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Is required to drink significant quantities of alcohol for health reasons, he claims. Can't understand why golf is not a contact sport. Is prone to spontaneous bouts of singing in bars and restaurants. Don't lend him a microphone. 

Forced into retirement from the Muffins annual tour, the memory of the 9th at Moffat still lingers. The dodgy ticker was forced into overtime on that occasion. His decision to rent one of the pull-trollies from the pro didn't help - built from the finest lightweight titanium they weren't. Better of the tee with one of the new "forgiving" big-headed drivers. Despite this, he still maintains that size is unimportant - in Turbo's case, size is very important. 

Turbo's bench would be half-way up the hill leading from the tee to the fairway on the 1st hole at Olton Golf Club. Turbo never has been able to play to a crowd.