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Recently acquired a set of game-improvement irons, presumably in search some game-improvement. However, they haven't helped him achieve his goal of breaking 90. Perhaps he got them on sale or return ? In despration, he has now acquired an overpriced set of Nike irons. Look for a 10p eBay listing shortly for the game improvement set - he has spoken to trading standards but they have blamed it on the swing. 

Recently banned from putting in his office by Health and Safety and boy does it show? Chris has the ability to shank any club in his bag - in fact all 3 sets! 

Never toured with the Muffins and never likely to as the overweight baggage for his multiple irons triple the cost of any tour. He picked up his nickname on a (non-sanctioned) tour to the USA in 1997 and has never lived it down. 

Cutie Cutie's bench would be in pristine condition, since it comes out roughly only once a month.