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Past primary organiser and generous supplier of Air Miles funded flights, however recent retirement from the usual 9-5 has resulted in an organisational incapacity, and he now has to be coerced into activity when the tour arrangements have to be made. Bemoans the fact he has to travel economy when on tour with the boys. Owner of more clubs than Jack Nicklaus, however whereas Roman Abramovich has paid a fortune for his club, Mr. Grumpy probably has never spent a bean. Possesses a fine selection of drivers, we would all like to see him with the ERC in his bag more often that it is. Has mastered both the power hook and the power slice, and has the uncanny knack of being able to play either shot, but only when there is out of bounds on the hole. Recently acquired one of those new fangled 2-ball putters, and rumour has it he paid cash money for it. However, contrary to those guys on the tour who seem to find the club the best available, Mr. Grumpy has performed quite a bit of quality assurance on it, and concluded it just isn't aligned correctly, and has an excessive coefficient of restitution. Incapable of playing too close his handicap. Will either be many shots above his target, or will go round in scratch golf. 

Mr. Grumpy's bench would always, traditionally, be located just inside the out-of-bounds fence on the left of the 18th hole at Olton Golf Club. More recently, it should probably be located short of every green, following woeful deceleration on the downswing of his chip-shots and an inevitable duff.